General Chat

He crouched down so he wouldnt be noticed , gathering his frozen onoins & neeps in his hands he said

Are you sure this is the right rd what is that you have on the front of your trousers its moving !Oh no

He looked again , his onions & neeps were thawing out and there
was a

Big puddle on the seat .poor man!! he thought my sporran is

supposed to be waterproof, I used Scotchguard on it!

The truck driver did not look happy!

"See You Jimmy..............

he said and thew him out of the truck and into the sight of a motorbike and side car containing a driver who was one of the hairy bikers. The hairy biker became quite excited at the site of onions, neeps and tatties and said

Well he would ..Eldrick thought to himself will my onions & neeps be safe with him Sure they will said the hairy biker as he reached for



( Ps Eldrick was on a coach not a lorry you were
:-S :-S :-S :-S )

A spare helmet for Eldrick,put this on yer ead me boy,don't want to be stopped
by mr plod ,and so they made there way to

fast little devil is our Eldrick he went from the coach to the lorry toot sweet

He was the fastest moving Eldrick in the coach ..as ge toot sweeted into the lorry he felt a

heavy breath on the back of his neck - could it be

Oh no Big Bertha she had caught up with him Oh my gawd she must have smelt me onions, and he pleaded with the Hairy Biker to

drive to a junction and slip the catch on the side car, like Olive and Arthur on On The Buses, :-D The Hairy Biker could go one way and our Hero the other. Hope fully Big Bertha would get confused and go

straight through the middle and land up

in the midle of a rounabout doing an impression of a fountain: not however like the famous little boy one in Brussels.

This thought made Eldrick chuckle and also brought an unexpected thought to his mind, of sprouts.

With neeps, onions, tatties and sprouts he could make a great stew. All he needed was some meat. h remebered the dead sheep on the road about a mile back so he

Went back .but somebody beat him to it Big Bertha had all the remains in her pinny .she looked up as

Eldrick tried to slip away unseen bu

He had a sheepish look on his face .he tried to hide it but

" Oh! It's ewe" he said

"Of course it's me!" replied Big Bertha

"No. I meant the roadkill. It's a ewe. I mistook you for a juggernaut!"

Big Bertha bristled (well she hadn't shaved for a few days) and flinging the remains from her pinny she took out her

trusty club which she always had about her person for rendering people unconscious and with an evil look in her eye - the good eye that is - she