General Chat

supped a few too many glasses of wine at the GR Reunion &

and dropped a barrel of party 7 on the floor.

At this time the lady in the grass was thinking when her Mr Darcy might turn up when

Eldrick on his bike with onions & neeps & poor man nearly dropped them as he

glimpsed the red bloomers of the lady in the grass

"Pffwwawwwww!" He said to himself... "she's a bit of alright.... might go chat her up'

The lady in the grass fluttered her eyelashes and her red bloomers and

all hell broke loose , then Mr Plod the policeman came along & said

Ello Ello what have we here

looks like a lady in red knickers officer what areyou

(the maiden had quickly put her knickers back on as she saw the uniformed gent approaching but had unfortunately tucked her skirt into them)

Eldrick peddled away quickly whilst the officer was busy ogling the maidens shapely legs & those red bloomers.

As he peddled he tried to make sense of what had happened since he last saw her. He HAD got a blue blood, his father was a priest & just where were Fag Ash Lil & her friends?

wearing?

PC Plod took offence at this remark (he also took a gate, but that's another story) and fumbling in his satin dress he finally pulled out his truncheon.

Waving his truncheon in the air, he shouted

All who were whatching Fainted , its all to much

As these various sights, sounds and actions sped through his schizophrenic mind he tjought of

I am so confused .was minding my own business were has that red flag come from on my handle bars? cant see a B~~~~~y thing omg why is that big wench chasing me .not a pretty sight cant peddle any faster .neeps & onions swinging about .help

and this was when he realised to his horror that he not only had problems with his neeps, but now his tatties were

sprouting eyes, and looking right at him!

STOP STARING AT ME! He screamed.

His screaming caught the attention of the patrons in the pub........ who all fell about laughing at the sight of this crazy man on a bike with big neeps and staring tatties, who could hardly see where he was going for big red flags (or were they knickers?)

Hey YOU! they yelled.......... you look like you need help (and a drink)....

Eldrick did his best to ignore them and carried on pedalling in spite of his extreme distress and pain - his onions were swinging all over the place and this was slowing his progress - however, he came to the brow of a hill and could freewheel down, but at the bottom

was a large lake and no bridge what can I do now he screamed,can I steer round

Or jump aboard that boat, so he did and sailed off into the sunset singing "Red Sails In The Sunset" but following behind on a surfboard was :-S a giant Orca in the shape of

I know I'll use my onions water wings then I can

eh :-S :-S

gret interpersonal skills at solving peoples' problems - mostly people with tatoos and no teeth, but all Eldrick could think of was what a couple o days it had been - he'd been all over the continent, his neeps and tatties were in poor condition - would they ever recover? would he reach dear old Blighty and make it back to the ancestral pile - would his father - the erstwhile priest at the monastery still be there - would Big Bertha still be after him and would dear old Grannie still be waiting for him? as he pondered these imponderables he

once again inspected his onions & wondered if the sea water had