General Chat

Kay, it's for a tv programme - same difference isn't it? My point is why would anyone be able to access data not available to the rest of us? Not ignoring you if you reply - there's a night out with my name on it

the on screen reunion is I assume the price the participants HAVE to pay in return for the finding service... far be it from me to say what I think that amounts to... I would be interested to know if any party asked for a private reunion and was refused.

I agree to a point Uggers,but I didnt find what I watched a show of entertainment,,,,,,it was a documentray programe,,


oh you lucky person Uggers ,,,,have a good night and be a devil}}}

There's a thread on the board now about the death of Jeff Conaway. Rather than put these comments in that thread, where they might be thought inappropriate, I'll add them here, where I think they are appropriate.


I remember him from Taxi, one of the somewhat better products of the US network sitcom mill.


http://www.seattlepi.com/news/article/Taxi-Grease-star-Jeff-Conaway-dies-at-60-1399078.php

"He was taken to the hospital unconscious on May 11 and placed in a medically induced coma while being treated for pneumonia and sepsis, which is blood poisoning caused by a bacterial infection. Conaway had failed to seek medical aid, instead trying to treat himself with pain pills and cold medicine ..."

Now there's a side effect of prescription drug addiction I hadn't thought of -- people not seeking care for genuine serious medical conditions.

And he was a victim of the horrific "reality" show industry:

"Conaway is the second person who appeared in the VH1 reality series 'Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew' [Drew Pinsky, yet another spin-off of the Ophrah Winfrey we-all-care industry] who later died. In March, former Alice in Chains bassist Mike Starr, who was on the show in 2009, was found dead in Salt Lake City. The month before, police there had arrested him on suspicion of possession of medications without a required prescription."

"Conaway told the Los Angeles Times in a January 2011 article that series producers asked him to 'give them drama.' But he also said he welcomed the support he received from those who viewed his struggle."

"Give them drama." Pure exploitation. Pure manipulation of the audience.

Viewers of these shows enjoy the manipulation; they get their immediate fake-emotion fix. They feel all warm inside from "caring" about some total stranger.

I say fake emotions, because the viewers don't actually *care* about the people in them, as stories like this demonstrate. How on earth *can* you care about somebody you have never met, know nothing about, and will never hear of or from again?

This is just pseudo-caring, about people whose stories advertisers are using to get us to buy their products. And we play right along.

If the whole thing doesn't work out like a fairytale and they commit suicide, will the viewers care? Will they feel *responsible* for what happened? Not likely. But they will be. They were participants in the events that lead to it.

Fake emotion fixes and fake caring.

Baby Jessica profited handsomely from it.

"Since she was pulled from the 8-inch pipe in October of 1987 when she was a 18-month old toddler, Jessica McClure Morales hadn’t returned to that well until she went there with a TODAY crew. Indeed, she had never appeared live on television or *given a free interview* with the media. ... Donations for her poured in after her rescue. The money — estimated at the time to be between $700,000 and one million dollars — was put into a trust fund that she will be able to access when she is 25."

USA Today actually put her 22nd on the list of people who had the most impact on (USAmericans') lives in the past quarter century. Bizarre. She had no impact on anybody's life, in truth.

Imagine if we put all this caring, and all that money, someplace where it would actually do some good ...

Strange that you mention the little girl Janey, as it's not long ago I came across her name whilst googling. There was a similar accident in Italy 30 years ago,sadly with a tragic end, I had forgotten the little boy's exact name in the years since, but not the event or how I watched and hoped.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfredo_Rampi

I read about the death of one of Jessica's rescuers, I don't think it's necessary to name him here so have edited "There have been some casualties related to the rescue. xxxxxxx one of the paramedics who played a critical role in extracting Jessica from the well, committed suicide in 1995. Psychologists have suggested that he suffered from post traumatic stress disorder brought on by the rescue. " I wonder if it had been a less high profile thing, part of his regular job whether the stress would have been lessened? If the world is watching, then the pressure is greater.

Well, there's someone whose life she (unintentionally and blamelessly, of course!) genuinely influenced. How sad.

And how many people who "cared" so much about Baby Jessica even knew he existed?

We can't care about 7 billion people individually.

But allowing ourselves to be manipulated into "caring" about total strangers for no reason ... surely it must affect our capacity to care genuinely about things and people we should care about.

I should make it clearer why it's this aspect of the show in question that concerns me.

If you read the comments by "Genes Reunited" at the GR Facebook page, for instance, that is all they're about.

"Hope you have your tissues ready for the last in the series of Long Lost Family."
"... it looks like there'll be an emtional reunion." (Followed by promotion of the GR website for finding relatives.)
"Hands up who's crying when Carole met not one, not two but three siblings!"
"Getting ready to tune in to Long Lost Family. Get the tissues ready!"
"Susan's story is heartbreaking."
"I suspect tissues will be needed before too long!"
"Just about wiped the tears away to type!"
"We have the tissues ready!"
"Tune in at 9pm on ITV1 and don't forget to bring the tissues!"
"Watching Long Lost Family last night was incredibly emotional, tissues were on hand!"
"We hope you all have your tissues ready for this week's episode of Long Lost Family which is on ITV now!"
"Luckily we had a box of tissues ready!"

I'm sorry, but gag me with a spoon.

Well quite a few of you seem very cross about this! I myself found it touching.

For the future, the daughter of a friend of mine, a fairly young adult, is expecting a baby. Clearly it was a surprise and she is not with the father. She has decided not to tell him (for now) as he hasn't been in her life for many months and she doesn't want him in it at all.

I can see where she is coming from - doesn't want him or his parents interfering when they don't have any kind of relationship - but I did mention all the good folk on this site looking for absent parents and that her baby, in the future, will want to know about his or her father.

So programmes like this give me food for thought.

So, the people on this programme are 'after their 15 minutes of fame'?
They 'could have found the information themselves'?

Well, we all also have access to nuclear physics - doesn't mean we know HOW to access it, or understand it.

Those of us who have been doing genealogy for years know the ways and means, others don't.

My late father in law, a shy retiring men, despite his rather high-faluting career, could have been a candidate!
When he was dying, he wanted to meet his first born son, conceived when he was 19, to a 35 year old widow,
This was pre-internet - over 30 years ago - ex & I knew notihng about birth records, etc.
We didn't even think to ask for the surname of the mother!

His (FiL's) sister knew his name, but wouldn't tell, she was suffering from the early stages of dementia, and was quite paranoid at the time.

FiLs father used to take money to the mother, but FiL had to move away from the village-he joined the Navy and never returned to the village.

Ex and I found him after FiL had died. He would have loved to have met his father.
He's in his 80's now - 20 years older than my ex - but we meet him every year. Still he wishes we'd found him earlier.

Yes, FiL was so desperate, he would have used any means to find his son.

And still they come roughly 400 FLRs so far , people who could have posted for free on Missing you, the tills must be ringing ! Ker-ching !

GR missed a golden opportunity to share the cost of sponsorship with Kleenex tissues !

Rita, I've been through this sort of thing more than once. What I can't understand is anyone wanting to do such an intensely personal thing publicly.

well here's a thought,

if next series they cut all the faffing about in parks,driving back and forth to 'give the news on camera' ( I'd settle for a phone call or a first class stamp if it were me?!) camera angles, soft focus on Davina's eyes etc, cut the presenters by half ( save a wage), make the reunions private with just an update on screen...they could probably double the number of searches...would it be 'good tv' though, would the same number of people watch if there was less sentiment but more results for those people who desperately need them?

How altruistic could you be vs the chance to have a good cry?

I wonder if they get paid a "Fee" for appearing on that programme? ;-).Oh and Island ,Its not the Typing thats slipping Its the Soap from the Hospital Soaps that does it, and as for Heir Hunters,can some one put me in touch as I,m losing mine Fast and would like it found before it all goes.**M**. :S :D.

I so agree with you RR.

So much on tv seems to be geared into making people cry in public..........why?


Piers Morgan is now known for trying to get the guests on his show to cry............why?


Is the emotional state of this country so unstable that we have to resort to having a good cry in public or watching someone else cry in public, in order to feel good about things?


Some of us prefer privacy to public outburts ..............


....and whilst I'm here.....if there is one thing I can't abide, and that's watching a reporter shoving his microphone into the face of an extremely distressed or traumatised person and asking them how they feel!

A good slap comes to mind :-(



falls off soap box...


:D

What about the heavy advertising in the breaks.It gives the impression that you join GR and all will be revealed ?

Never mind that the records they need are not on GR and the information they want is on pay to view sites.
Are we to be expected to pay for and hand over names addresses and phone numbers willy nilly ? I don't think so.

Cynthia, re Piers Morgan and the Slap, You should have a chat with Jeremy Clarkeson,Apparently he gave him a good one in a restaraunt some time ago. :D

Why cannot people who don't enjoy this sort of program just switch off. No-one asked hundreds of people to share the funeral of Diana, or the marriage of her son the other week. That could be described as good telly as I for one never met Diana or Prince William.( I did see her in a grumpy mood once at a Cornish show- no cameras around at the time)
This week Obama has mentioned the word that his mother taught him which was 'empathy'. Sometime people on these boards ask for 'healing thoughts' or 'prayers', they don't cost anything only time , these are for people who we don't know or we are never likely to meet.
I find these programs give food for thought as already mentioned. Wear the shoes then decide. It just makes me thankful, that even though I didn't get on with my father, at least I knew who he was.-jl

I don't 'enjoy' the programme no,because

a) it's really not very well made ( yes I do know a little about programme production..it's in the family you might say)

b) I think it's unfair to give no informaton to others HOW to find relatives, it's just a 'magic act' which produces some happy bunnies from a hat at the end, and leaves those who need to know how to do it still in the dark.

c) it is precisely BECAUSE of my empathy with the participants and those in similar circumstances that I would like the best possible help for all of the parties, ( on screen and the thousands who don't get that 'opportunity'). No I haven't had to seek for a parent, though I barely 'knew' my father as he died when I was a child, but I have seen at first hand a reunion which DID work out well, because it was handled slowly and carefully, in private.

Try reading the comments on the net, 4.7 million viewers, tha'ts about the ratings competition, and the hard sell of products advertised.

Sadly not about empathy ?

Rita and Janet - you are quite correct to say that peoples tastes differ. It would be a very boring world if we were all the same.

IMO, this thread is to a certain extent a backlash at the incessant posts on FB by GR, about the programme, trying to whip up emotional support (and viewing figures/product advertising). If people choose to add to a thread sharing their (empathic) viewing emotions about the programme, so be it.

The football World Cup had a similar anti thread/football free zone on the boards so those who weren't interested could say so. If there is one next year about the Olympics, I'll probably post on that as well!

Just for info - I never watched the Living Rellies programme, did watch one or 2 Big Bro episodes when it first started, just to see what the fuss was about, and avoid the Jeremy Kyle type programmes like the plague! Can't stand the celebrity in the jungle/up a tree/jumping out of a plane whatever programmes either. Or the Talent style shows - give me a good thriller/drama any day! But we all have different interests.

Empathy as previously mentioned. Yes, there is a point there, but again, whilst empathising with the loss of a mother, I certainly didn't buy into the 'Saint' Diana emotional blackmail going the rounds when she tragically (tragic because she left 2 young sons motherless) died.

" people seemed to expect too much in this type of programme. they watch Big Brother and the Celebrity in the Jungle and make no comment on that"

I don't watch BB or Celebrity, actually Rita and I expect nothing of them, but yes there are standards I 'expect' of a programme which is dealing with this topic. The participants and those who are looking for their own relatives deserve nothing less than the best surely? That is not to be compared to 12 z list celebs getting paid huge amounts to have a few weeks in the jungle imo.


Would it not be better, don't you think, if the programme helped more of those who need help? whether I watch it is irrelevant to that question.