General Chat

Just to get in the nearly Christmas mood

Ogden Nash said Merry Christmas, nearly everybody !

Groucho Marx said i played Santa Claus many times and if you don;t believe me , check out the divorce settlements awarded to my wives.

Victor Borge said Santa Claus had the right idea, visit people once a year !

Mans inhumanity to man has caused the deaths of countless millions

Talking of Sir Walter R, here's a snippet written by him called 'The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd.'

If all the world and love were young,
And truth in every shepherd's tongue,
These pretty pleasures might me move
To live with thee, and be my love.


Was it Sir Walter? who gallantly described an ageing Queen Elizabeth as:

'A lady whom time hath surprised!'

I think this could describe me !!!!

Dermot

I haven't read or recited this one for a very long time, thank you

Bridget

The Little Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was an Old Lady, who swallowed a fly.
But, I don't know why, she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps, she'll die!

I know an Old Lady who swallowed a spider."
It wiggled and tickled and jiggled "inside her."
She swallowed the spider to catch "the fly.
But I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps, she'll die!

I know an Old Lady who swallowed a bird.
How absurd - to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
It wiggled and tickled and jiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I still don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps, she'll die!

I know an Old Lady who swallowed a cat."
Imagine that! She swallowed a cat!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
It wiggled and tickled and jiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I still don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps, she'll die!

I know an Old Lady who swallowed a dog.
What a hog! She swallowed a dog!
She swallowed a dog to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
Swallowed the bird to catch the spider
It wiggled and tickled and jiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I still don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps, she'll die!

I know an Old Lady who swallowed a goat.
It stuck in her throat, that silly old goat.
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
Swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
Swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
Swallowed the bird to catch the spider
It wiggled and tickled and jiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I still don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps, she'll die!

I know an Old Lady who swallowed a cow.
I don't know how she swallowed a cow.
But, she swallowed the cow to catch the goat,
Swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
Swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
Swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
Swallowed the bird to catch the spider
It wiggled and tickled and jiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I still don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps, she'll die!

I know an Old Lady who swallowed a horse.
She's DEAD, of course!

It's understood that Sir Walter Raleigh introduced Tobacco and Potatoes into England from the New World in Elizabethan times, although smoking was thought to have been popular in Spain prior to this. James 1st was obviously a non-smoker, so perhaps this is a hidden reason (along with the declared ones) for his dislike of, and eventual execution of Sir Walter!!!

Lizlynes

I had to look twice at this, so the argument about tobacco has been around for a long time. How true this statement Is.

Bridget :-)

This is a quotation from James V1th of Scotland and 1st of England 1566-1625.

A custom loathsome to the eye,hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black, stinking fumes thereof, nearest resembling the horrible Atygian smoke of a pit that is bottomless.

A Counterblast to Tobacco.

Been very busy with our visitors who are not in good health although not very old, and now I am exhausted .
I was up at 05.00 to make sure that they had a breakfast before OH took them to the station for the journey to Barcelona airport to get back to north Wales latter today.

I feel very tired so will not be back until tomorrow, but wanted to say thanks to everyone who is keeping this thread staying alive.

Bridget

Trouble is in places like that they are encouraged t come out with completely non sensical retorts to a customers order.

Can you believe that it is only just over a month to Christmas and it is still so mild.

So here are 3 sayings / for that time

At Christmas all roads lead home

I wish we could put away some Christmas Spirit in jars and open a jar every month.

Christmas is a time when you get homesick even when you are home !!

I did laugh at the 'Fries' Greenfingers! Heavens, whatever next?!!!

Mark Twain said...............Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside !

Orson Welles said.....Ask not what you can do for your country, ask whats for lunch !!

'Only rain will cure drought'.

I googled the poem Why are they selling poppies and its called The Inquisitive Mind of a Child, and is very popular in Australia where it is often ussed on Anzac Day. I understand that it has been adopted by the Royal British Legion. Whatever, it is lovely

Thanks Lizlynes for sharing this with us, I would never have known about it otherwise.

Jay Leno said...I went to McDonalds and asked for some fries, and the girl at the counter said would you like some fries with that !!!

Miss Piggy said........never eat more than you can lift

Regars J

Went the day well?
We died and never knew,
But, well or ill,
England, we died for you.

Supreme and Proud.

This poem is in memory of my father F/O J.W Lynes :30th April 1914 - killed, 22nd Dec 1942. He was 'A Bomber Boy'

We had no common bond
Save that of youth,
No shared ambition
Except to venture and survive,
Until, aloft within that roaring fuselage,
Each dependant on the others
We found in war's intensity
Good cause to say with pride in later years
To those who chronicled the great events,
We flew in Lancasters.

LizLynes


You are so right about war...we have a memorial at our church to a plane which went down on its maiden flight in 1947.....one of the men onboard had survived the war only to die in this crash...his wife was pregnant at the time and had not yet told him...his daughter comes on special occasions

Adam Scott said..eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.

Alice May Brock said...Tomatoes and Oregano make it Italian, wine and tarragon make it French, sour cream makes it Russian, lemon and cinnamon make it Greek, soy sauce makes it Chinese...Garlic makes it good

I'm with her !!!

and to end for today

Calvin Trillus said.....Health food make me sick !!!!!!!!!

How true


Jan

When all else fails be an actor my friend

Francis Albert Sinatra

No Greenfingers I don't know who wrote the poem, I lost my father during WW11, a month before I was born, and a cousin of my mother's also died as a result of illness contracted in the Desert during the same period. My step-father spent 4 years as a POW in the Far East, which undermined his long term health, so, for me, like many others, War is just such a waste of life, particularly young life, and yet we STILL seem, at the drop of a hat, to persist on going down this road! It's just crazy!

I too will read the poem in church on Sunday, it is so true and meaningful, do you know who wrote it ? and when ?


Regards Jan

On a secondary note, and totally different some words on food


Mark Twain said a cauliflower was only a cabbage with a college education

George W. Bush said now I am President I am never going to eat broccoli again............sales of broccoli immediately went down in the USA

Will try to find some others Jan