General Chat

OK Janey, if you insist ;)

I'll set the scene, Julia said:

"However, apart from trying to discredit my geography in connection with a thread od mine on GR, he has just sent me a PM, with my full name, full address and post code, and the other ihabitant who lives at my house."

Well I don't think this necessarily happened and bearing in mind I have absolutely no idea who Mr. X is and what thread it all started on but it could have happened something like this:

(NB For some reason, i think the page should go wavy at this point whilst we go back in time - well it used to happen on the old films ;))

It was a wet Tuesday in August when Julia posted a thread about Derbyshire. We had all complained the previous Sunday that although Julia had been on the boards for years and years, she had done little to promote Derbyshire genealogy on GR chat boards. Rose on the other hand had managed to promote every county in England and in fact was planning her second reported trip to Chester and Merseyside in September ;) We secretly all knew Julia was in fact called Bert from Argyle and was a long distance lorry driver. (In fact one could argue that indeed 84.75% of the posters on chat were in fact men in the guise of women who just wanted to talk about medical ailments without fear of ridicule) Most were indignant that she kept up this guise telling us she was from Derbyshire when we all wanted her to do some lookups in a particular cemetery in Argyle that the local family History society hadn't got around to recording the MIs for.

Anyway, Bert ahem Julia decided to do some research on Derbyshire and concocted a story about an ancestor who had worked at Raven mines, famous for their tin. Unfortunately Bert ahem Julia was unaware that Wikipedia had been hacked that day and in fact it was Magpie Mines, famous for lead. Now on that fateful wet Tuesday in August, the only person on GR from Derbyshire happened to be on the site, Derbyshire Dave . (Don't let GR fool you with their 11 million members and numerous trees, there's only about 11 members who have multiple accounts and multiple names - I'm also Doris from Somerset and Susan with Numbers ;) and I'm new ;) )

Now Derbyshire Dave was an expert Genealogist (he sometimes posed as Janey from Canada ;) ) and a local historian so knew his stuff about Derbyshire and that sitting on cold surfaces gives you piles was just a myth. He recognised that Julia was not in fact from Derbyshire and said that she got it wrong. Bert ahem Julia said "Prove it!" , confident that he/she had left no clues and GR had protected her identity securely......in fact she said that she would give him £9.95 the current membership of GR if he could trace him ahem her.

Derbyshire Dave set about with the current electoral roll, a membership to women's weekly and some sticky back plastic and by halfpast 3 had discovered Julia was in fact Bert from Argyle and was living in a residence with his pet guinea pig called Squeaker. However, having watched a recent episode of Who do you think you Are?, Dave had discovered he was the long lost cousin of Jason Donavan and set about buying all of his records and memorising them so her could include them in a forthcoming talk he was doing at the Women's Institute. It was only this week that he could send his pm to Julia ahem Bert ahem Julia with all the details to claim his prize. Julia ahem Bert, not expecting Derbyshire Dave to come back with a successful outcome was horrified that she had spent her last £9.95 on a duplicate account where she had called herself Donald Duck to drive the other people on the board quackers.......

In panic of being revealed as Bert the lorry driver, Julia ahem Bert took a defensive measure and accused this mysterious Mr X as a stalker, little knowing that Dave from Derbyshire had upped sticks and had moved to Australia, the new neighbour of Terence Donavan......

Signal waves......

Well it could have happened like that Janey ahem Derbyshire Dave ;)

I would like someone to define Stalker/ Stalking.
My interpretation would be someone that has persued someone else for some time rather than a couple of Pm's.....
of course we still dont know the nature/extent/ content of these happenings yet......
but ......
I think that this thread ought to be deleted, post haste before it escalates into ww 3

Sorry, SRS.

Uggers is pretending to believe that people in this thread have done something they haven't. And that's intellectually dishonest.

He's at liberty to offer up whatever facts and argument he might have to back up his portrayal of what people in the thread are doing, of course; I just haven't seen him doing that.

The mere fact that someone says something doesn't mean that anyone has to believe it.

Uggers doesn't have to believe that Julia received the PMs she says she received.

And I don't have to believe what Uggers says he believes!


And I am *still* waiting for someone to tell us this "context" in which it would be anything other than intentionally creepy for a stranger on the internet to go to considerable effort to collect a bundle of personal information about one's self, and then send it to one. And how such a person could have intended anything other than to cause anxiety.

I don't do it, Uggers doesn't do it, SRS doesn't do it ...


I have absolutely not the first clue who the alleged culprit is. I don't care. My concern is actually that this site makes it possible to do such things, because if they build it that way, some creep or other will come along and use it. Matters not who.


We may also be aware that Julia in Derbyshire and I are not BFFs, as may be evident from the fact that I have received no acknowledgment here.

Hi Janey, personally (and I'll know we'll disagree ;) ) I'd prefer it if you didn't use such emotive language towards Uggers as "pretend" or Intellectually dishonest". I prefer to call it a difference in perspective and personally I have a different perspective in this instance too.

I do see it as people taking sides, in that only we have Julia's "side" so people have naturally are sympathetic towards her.

Now even if we had all the details, most people may take Julia's side but unfortunately we don't have all the details. Although to be honest I can understand why Julia hasn't revealed all - I think she doesn't want to copy pms onto the board.

I also would find it unnerving if someone revealed all of the details of where I lived in a pm so I can understand why she is shocked. However, as we don't know the context, it may be rash for some of us to make an assumption without all the facts.

I also tend to see Rose's point of view about suspicion being on the wrong person, however, I'm not so sure to be honest whether Julia should post the person's name on here. (ie I don't know what the best course would be)

Hi Julia, I don't want to sound as if I am disagreeing or making light of this because I'm not...but I do think that it is pretty essential that no suspicion is cast on anyone who just happens to be male and posts on any of the boards?

I seem to remember seeing something on a thread on one of the other boards..which I think might be where the person first contacted you? ( I may be wrong if so please correct me)

it's just that I remember when someone un-named was accused on this board of sending 'dodgy' PMs...suspicion fell on several men who were entirely innocent also..

I don't think it is against T & Cs to name the person, as you have the proof of message, if not proof of intent...which GR should investigate and the police if you're really worried, but I think even if it breaks T & Cs better that than anyone making incorrect assumptions as to identity of the person?

You know what it's like on here...say 'someone' did such and such and each individual puts a different name in the frame.

Rose xx

ive thought this one through and i go with joy.and merlin.it seems this person wanted to spook julia .and it worked.

hope you get it sorted hun.

Well said Merlin XX

Just read this Julia, the person must be a sicko, I hope you get this sorted out ASAP. its not nice,also GR.should get their finger out and BAN the person concerned.Take Care.**M**.

one of my stalkers was reported to the police Amy
but they wanted me to arrange a meet with him
and i didn't want to participate
due to their suggested place been in a lonely location
i even had a police tap on my phone

though i do suspect
this was one of my hubbys old school friends

he had to know us to know the info he gave
even to what i bought in town and who i spoke to
and where i had been that day
even once to what i ordered in a cafe

the other well i just laughed at
the first one had hardened me to stalkers
though my evidence was later shown to the police
in connection to another case
and they laughed to

Have you not heard from the police either ?

Good Afternoon to you all. I would like to thank almost everyone for their positive comments on this, and also the people that contacted me by PM. I am exceedingly grateful to you all for your support and kind words
Of course, though not expected, there was bound to be one or two who where dissenters, passing on their negative thoughts.
But, I did not expect my credibility and honesty to be challenged. I have more to do with my time than to come on here and invent a story of any kind, let alone one of this nature.
To that person, I say, please get a life. I have never done or said anything against you, so why should you to me.
And, lets us all hope that this sort of thing does not happen again to anybody else on here.
Of course, the culprit cannot be named by me on here, as it is against the T&C of GR., nor will he come on here to give his side, as that too would reveal his identity.
To this time 1.45, I have not had as much as an acknowledgement from GR
Again, my heartfelt thanks
Julia in Derbyshire

if we go back to Julia's first post
she was asking where he got the information
not just her name but her address and who lived at her home
it was others that made comments about the person
who sent the info including me

so she wasn't out for a witch hunt just advise

i myself have had two stalkers
one in my real world for 6 and a half years
( this one was menacing)
and also one on the internet for two years approx
( this one was just a foolish lonely woman )
so this subject is close to my heart and maybe
i am a bit sensitive on these matters

Oh well Janey, we see it differently. I'm sure there's no problem with us conceding that and leaving it there.

Uggers -- no name has been named, and neither I nor anyone helse has the first clue who is being "accused'. Some may have suspicions. I don't. I have no idea.

I am not "willing to believe" an accusation against someone.

I am willing to believe an account of a set of facts.

I don't think anything different can be said about anyone who has posted here. No one is taking a side, no one is leaping to judgment.

You are being, er, intellectually dishonest when you pretend otherwise.

thinking and thinging again
i can think of no reason no normal reason for the pm Julia got
maybe the person who sent it
could come on here and exsplain why they sent it
giving the details why they did

then that might clear it up


but i wont be holding my breath

Joy and Gwynne, I'm not saying you should agree with me, I'm just expressing surprise that people are so willing to believe what they're told without knowing both sides of a story. Each to their own.

I'm not exactly a shrinking violet but if a stranger on a website emailed me those personal details it would creep me out.

Gwynne

uggers if a man pms a woman
with her full name address ect ect
there can be no mistake no misunderstanding
it becomes menacing


if not he would of pmed her again and explained himself fully
though what excuse he could give for this i dont know

i myself are standing by Julia on this one

SRS, I also agree with Janey about that.

Joy, there have been plenty of people on here who have said things that aren't true in the time I've been here:) I've seen accusations made against anonymous people before - once by a member who I knew to be fairly all right and everyone chimed in about how awful the unnamed member was but it so happened I knew the story from the other side and it did turn out to be a misunderstanding and the mob was left looking very stupid.

Julia, as I say I don't intend to cause you offence but I don't know you other than seeing your posts on here so as you've brought this onto the boards, I'm just giving an alternative view point.