General Chat

Jean ,Yes hes always been a control freak and violent at times but he is getting much worse. I cannot have a conversation with him, I showed him a dress that I had bought for my great grandaughter today and his comment when I said it was 1-2 years old was "she's 3". I said yes but she's only small. He then lost his temper with me and accused me of argueing with him, called me a stupid bitch and said I was only trying to raise his testosterone levels. He is so paranoid thinks everyone is against him.I am taping most of what he says to me and I intened to play the tape to his doctor, even if I have to do it down the phone,I left this doctor because he would not listen to me when I said that my husband was getting aggressive and making me ill. He just said that he was ill and I must not argue with him and should do what he wanted. Well what would you have done? :-( Elaine.

know what you mean lol wqell one down gynecologist next wed, the consultant said the ms is causing the eye deteriation, so not to worried, its next week but oh will be with me xxx

hows everyone today hows things at home elaine i hope you have contacted the macmillian team sweetheart, that what there there for xxxxx :-)

Puss, my hospital attendances are 1 for my eye, had a macular hole repaired 3 days before xmas. the second one is to the Gynae outpatients for the other end. Seems like we have something in common. :-D Elaine.

Puss and daughter. good luck tomorrow.

Elaine, has he always been like this or is it something new? if it is not new, but getting worse, you definitely need to see the GP, and once you are armed with the facts, you can decide whether to stay or go. No one should have to live with that kind of treatment Sorry tobe so blunt, but there are times when love flies out of the window.

well im off to bed ive a the neuro bloke tomorrow to see why ive developed double vision colour blindness annd sudden deteration of site, so love to you all and elaine i hope your ok love, keep going xxx

well im off to bed ive a the neuro bloke tomorrow to see why ive developed double vision colour blindness annd sudden deteration of site, so love to you all and elaine i hope your ok love, keep going xxx

YOU TAKE CARE AND REMEMBER WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU, IVE GOT TO SEE THE CONSULTANT THIS WEEK ABOUT DOUBLE VISION THEN THE GYNAECOLAGIST A WEEK ON SO FORGIVE IF IM NOT HERE BUT WILL BE THINKING OF YOU AND ALL THE NICE PEOPLE ON HERE X

Oh it is such a relief to talk to someone. I thank you all from the bottem of my heart. I have sent a message to the Mcmillian web site and hope they answer, I have also asked one of my pharmacist fiends to look into the tablets he's on. This week I have to attend hospital on two days but next week I will make an appointment with my GP to see if they can help. I do get respite as I go away with my sister but never know what he will have done while I am away he has cut trees down in the garden because he knows I love doing gardening so I have stopped doing the garden he says is his. He has filled it with scrap. Oh well. Thanks everyone. Elaine. :-S

Elaine love you cant do this on your own, if you are worried about your husband thinking the macmillan nurse just wants to see him as he has turnened others away you can privatly talk to one mayby saying your doing a hours over time at work etc, if not you need a good GP who you can talk too.

thing is with this type of thing everyone is mainly thinking of the sufferer but dont realise you are suffering to, your watching someone you love being turned into a monster, and your having to deal with everything.

personaly i think you need a break and if you contact the macmillan nurses they can organise respite for your husband which i guess he would refuse anyway or a least having someone to call , and this is where you would have to put your foot down and say to him this is happening, you need the help as your his full time care going out to work and keeping a good home, then mayby they can think of a plan.

I bet you would feel guilty at this or think your failing him but believe me no one knows what its like having to be everything all rolled in to one , please get some help elaine, otherwise you will burn out.

i was my mums support even though im ill myself , she was my dads carer etc, we were never once offered any help but his case is under fire atm, when i started demaning answers did they put me in touch with a macmillian nurse, who only then said dad had weeks to live, still never offerd to tell mum anything, i had to tell my mum her husband of 30yrs he had weeks to live in the back of my husband car, had id not no one would of offerd , he died ten days later, so elaine please ask for some help, it disturbed me for a long time that i had the responsability of doing that and holding my dads hand as he slipped away, what we really should have done was sat in a room with proffessional people and been supported as not everyone knows there is help, but there is, take care and remember we are here for you, ........AND you are in a situation of domestic violence wether ill or not, i have a horrible reaction to morphine tablets they make me really angry but i dont take that out on loved ones or anyone, so ill or not its wrong, you seemed really trapped please get some help xxxx love lorraine aka puss xxxxx

Elaine, my OH became agressive when his blood sugar went too low at a time when we didnt understand it. He finished up in a psychiatric hospital for a week, where they diagnosed the problem. This was over 40 years ago.
he has recently had a couple of doses of medication for depression which started him being aggressive, and i took them away from him. Mind, I am a bossy sort of woman, being a nurse and having worked in a juvenile detention cenre. he knows when i mean business!.
I would be almost 99 % sure that medication could be at the back of this behaviour. You could go to his GP and say that you are worried about the change in him, behind his back if necessary. he may be frightened by what is happening to him.
You will find support on here whatever.

Thanks Ann, never thought about the phamacist and I have two living within yards of me and I will make an appointment to see my doctor, I've got to do something to help both of us even though he doesn't want my help. Will let you know how I get on. Elaine. :-)

Elaine have you looked in the phone book for MacMillan Nurses?

Have you gone to your own doctor to explain the situation? Failing that maybe your pharmacist could tell you what the side effects of the medication your husband takes are. Or look it up on the net if you can try this site
www.webmd.boots.com and put the medication into search.

He will not let me attend the hospital with him, if anyone calls to see us he closes the door keeping me in the kitchen and says they have come to see him. I don't know how to get in touch with the Mcmillan nurses but gosh I do need someone who understands to talk to and to advise me, Last week I was thumped in the back for not getting out of the bathroom fast enough and then he threatened to push me downstairs, I dread him getting up as he immediately starts shouting at me, I tend to go upstairs when he gets up, out of the way. He won't let me have the heating on at night when I come in from work There are too many things to list that he does to upset me like not letting me clean the house, move anything of his to dust,he surrounds himself with piles of papers, magazines carrier bags full of all sorts of things. My house is not my home. Elaine. :-S

Elaine do you have support from McMillan nurses or similar. i.e. people who support the cancer sufferer and their families? If so they should be able to advise you if the treatment can make him aggressive.

:-S Myhusband was diagnosed with prostrate cancer two years ago, which had gone into the bone. Since then he has made my life a misery with threats, wanting me out of the house for good, physical abuse etc. We have been married for 53 years. He has never been an easy man to live with but this treatment is getting me down and my health is suffering. He is on the 3 monthly injections of hormones and has the hormone pills, can anyone advise me what to do. El;aine.

Thanks Jean i will tell her tomorrow, hope your ok, im off to bed soon so good night godbless xxxx

If you have skin problems and cant use soap, then Epiderm is available on presription or over the counter. It is a very thick version of a type of vaseline which you use like soap. I have used it for several years fo Psoriasis. I never use soap, and if you wash regularly you dont need deodorant. That is a modern idea. I think I have heard that washing in a solution of Bicarbonate of soda can be used instead of deodorant.I have plenty of people who would tell me if I smelt!

Thanks ann, its always worth adding, people who are sufferent arnt always told theses things, theyre is a middle aged lady in the village,she has mental health issues the one day she was very coherent and told me her doctor had told her not to use soap or deordrent, she helps me on my stall on a saturday if im not feeling to good, i was wondering if there is something she can use, in the warmer weather she must feel really uncomfortable. :-0

For interest to anyone who suffers or who has a relative who suffer with oestrogen dependent breast cancer. Did you know that you should not use lavender oil or body lotion as it mimics the effects of oestrogen