General Chat

On average, we yawn 240,000 times during our lifetime.

I have probably beaten the record today then Dermot..........it's the heat lol

Wives spend 'six days a year' nagging their husbands.

And husbands spend SIXTY days a year moaning about it :-)))

MSNBC reports that US scientists have created a cat that glows in the dark.

Remains of St John the Baptist 'found'.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

I'm trying to arouse my mind from its torpor.

its raining :-D

:-Dhere too, i love rainy days :-D

I do Stray but not when I have 75 lots of washing to 'ang out :-D

oh shove it in the drier dear :-P

There is a shortage of botox apparently.

wouldnt of put you down as a botox user Dermott :-D

Not me! But my pet pig.

It's raining in Wales

Tec.

Who looks forward to working till 80, which will be the extended pension retirement age in 2014.

Using the new rules, I have calculated that I will need to be dead for 5 years before I become eligible for the State Pension.

At least I won't have to queue up at the Post Office every Friday.

Dermot are you saying the state pension is absolute drivel? :-D Gosh this is an old thread.