General Chat

Greetings all,

We have an internet connection at last, not sure for how long though, and so slow.

Bridget I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a stressful time. Do hope things will go smoothly for your stepson on Wednesday and that matters will be sorted out, I will be thinking of you all.

Enjoy the dinner on Thursday evening and have a wonderful time at the wedding on Friday.


Val. in SA.

Bridget, sorry I didn't get back to you. When my energy levels are low (which is the case at the moment), my brain seems to slip out og gear too.

I hope that your step-son has got some sort of represtation for Wednesday. Does he have support from his Mental Health Team?

It is difficult enough going through a marriage breakdown (as you and I both know) without out the added on problems caused by MenTal Health Issues.

Are the childrens other grandparents involved at all? If so it might br helpful to arrange meetings via both sets of grandparents.

It would seem that both your (step)son and his ex need a lot of help.

I will pm you with some thoughts in the next few days.
Will be thinking of you all. Hope that Wednesday isn't as bad as you fear and that some of the issues can be resolved.

Enjoy the "Special Day" on Friday. At least you have got something good to look forward to.

Tess

I shall be away from Wednesday until Sunday evening and will not be able to post so please keep it going for me. Thanks.

On Thursday evening we are having dinner with army son and his senior officers, must say I feel a little nervous....then of course it is the wedding on Friday followed by a small family gathering,that is about 30 people.bought the hat and and shoes today so ready at last. Even remembered to buy new film for camera.......

Take care everyonehopeto hear from you all

Byebye


Bridget

Hi Bridget, sorry to hear about your stressful time. My grandsons have just left and I need to resst. Will be back either tonight or tomorrow about access to the children.
Just too tired at the moment to make any sense.
Will be thinking of you all

Tess

I am nudging this just to see if anyone else has any experience in such matters

Bridget

Sorry about my rather rambling message this morning but had to share my news with some. My oh has said that he will be at court with his son but he does not see that we could look after three young children! The big problem is that my stepson has bi polar disease and so does his wife so not easy to give help as sometimes they are both very difficul at times.
I have even thought that the children may be better with foster parents and then I feel very guilty!

A funny week, and I hope that another like this one does not happen for some long time.
My youngest stepson, not a description I use veryboften as I have cared for him almost since birth has had a court summons ! To say we are shocked is to put it mildly. He was foolish when aged about 18 and he became father. Like many youngsters he did not listen to us and they went on to have two more children and his grandparents bought them a home, so no mortgage. Almost inevitably the marriage broke up and he left the home.
I will not bore everyone any longer but his wife hs refused access on many occasions, she has received financial support from him, but recently has started to say the most appalling statements about him. We know that he is not perfect and does become angry when she will not let him see the children. His father went with him recently and found her asleep, incapable to look after the children, they had not had anything to eat and as forbtheir cleanliness there is little to be said!
Oh has just paid one thousand pounds for him and his son to take the children on holiday in the UK not to far from where they so she could be safely nearby.

Yesterday son received a summons fo attacking her both verbally and physically.......he denies this vehemently and is very distressed, oh will go to the court with him.
I have offered to take the chidren but oh feels that this would not be the right thing to do........

The hearing is on Wednesday and my son marries as you all know on Friday, what a week.


Positive thinking comes to mind but somehow I have the feeling that this is going to be a very difficult week.

Bridget

It's a funny old day .. I have got my two grandsons A & E aged 5 and 6, with me for the day. We have sent their Dad (my son) to Coventry, on a course.

So far the six year old has eaten two pieces of toast a muffin (cake) a ham roll and a hot dog.
It has been raining here - and I have to stay in - not because of the rain, but because my brothers are taking part in a sponsered walk. (in aid of Altzhiemers spl?)
They are walking along the canals from Birmingham to Penkridge, while someone else is walking from Stoke-on-Trent to Penkridge. They should be meeting there in a canal-side pub this evening.
My job, is to post up-dates to a couple of sites, including facebook. So I have to stay near phone and computer.

Tess

Art like beauty is in the eye (or heart, mind, ear, etc) of the beholder.

Tolstoy wrote " The activity of art is based on the fact that a man, receiving through his sense of hearing or sight another man's expression of feeling, is capable of experiencing the emotion which moved the man who expressed it. To take the simplest example; one man laughs, and another who hears becomes merry; or a man weeps, and another who hears feels sorrow. A man is excited or irritated, and another man seeing him comes to a similar state of mind. By his movements or by the sounds of his voice, a man expresses courage and determination or sadness and calmness, and this state of mind passes on to others. A man suffers, expressing his sufferings by groans and spasms, and this suffering transmits itself to other people; a man expresses his feeling of admiration, devotion, fear, respect, or love to certain objects, persons, or phenomena, and others are infected by the same feelings of admiration, devotion, fear, respect, or love to the same objects, persons, and phenomena.

I found this when studying some time ago and still think it is a wonderful expression of what art is.

We talk so often about amazing art and generally we are thinking of pictures hanging in galleries, music being played in places such as the Albert Hall but my belief is that the food we eat prepared with detail and passion, the abilty to find the right words at happy and difficult times is also art

So everyone what are your views?

Bridget

catchthecatch
Why not write both? Well I am not sure really, I enjoy reading poetry and like writing, generally I write something based on fact.
I always thought that most people could write prose, whilst some may excel others would be fun and intersting but poetry...now that is really for the blessed, for those with a talent and empathy.
But you people on here have been so kind and generous with your encouragement......I will give both a try.
Thank you

Bridget

Bridget,
Why not write both?

Theresa
Thank you for your reply, it is much appreciated.
You are of course quite right about what has brought all this to the surface again. Normally I have packed these emotions away in a special place, and only let them out now and again.

I am lucky in that I married for a second time, to someone who is very different, and we have been married 17 years on the 19th July, I do love him but it is so very different.
My marriage broke up because of a lie......and once a lie has been told it seeps into the depths of your mind and becomes a truth, it was years later that the lie was acknowledged.

I will keep writing and maybe I should save them or is that being somewhat vain??

Bye for now

Bridget

It is lovely Bridget.. It seems (to me)that thoughts of your sons upcoming wedding has made you think this way.

Do keep writing, these are words waiting to be set down on a page, before thet become buried again.

Tess

What is true Love?
.
You my love are my true love
Always in my mind,
The one who knows my heart
Is broken, by you my love
by you

The stars above are dimming,
Always in my mind,
I am waiting for you my love,
the stars are dimming,for you
My love.


Take all my love,as the sky
Turns black, my love
as you slowly walk away,
My heart is broken, yet
you are my love.

Now my love, we stand
Side by side ,as we see
our love marry his love,
My heart is still broken
By you, my love by you.

I have never written poetry before and here I am writing my second piece.

Please tell me the truth should I continue or go back to prose.
Bridget
I feal very nervous about this but here goes

Mary, Paris sounds wonderful. Even the journey there sounded exciting.

Your boys will never forget their first time on a plane, it is so good that you were able to share this special moment with them.

Frances, well done on keeping your secret holiday plan for your OH's 60th birthdaay a secret. It must have been really difficult. I imagine him trying not to look disappointed when you told him that you were taking him to Paris.
His face must have been a picture when you told him the truth! Did he take a French phrase book and a guide to Paris with him?

I had to get up early this morning, as I was expecting delivery of a new vacuum. Delivery time was between 7am and 7pm it came at 6.15 pm ! Just as well I hadn't had a day off work, waiting for it (I am retired).

Still recovering from getting up early!
Having said that, I would have been well on my way to work by 7am when I was still working, so I have got it very easy now.

Tess

I have had so many wonderful holidays and some rubbish ones. One of my favourites was our trip to the British Virgin Islands in 2006 for OH's 60th. birthday.....keeping the secret was very difficult as we told him he was going to Paris, a city he doesn't like, so packing for 10 days in the Caribbean when you are only supposed to be going to Paris for 5 days, in October, is not easy.We did go to Paris as we flew Air France from Charles de Gaulle.....our son had organised the trip and he refuses to fly Iberia so we couldn't go from Madrid which would have been better for us. We had a good holiday with lots of laughs and not a few insect bites.
I think childhood holidays remain the best though.....hindsight is a wonderful thing! We never went abroad but we always had two weeks somewhere in England. I can remember staying in a caravan at Primrose Valley on the East Coast and it rained for the whole two weeks. I can remember sunshine for a fortnight in Torquay......they were all great and I was so lucky as many of my friends never had holidays.

Frances.

Hi All
Sorry I have been awol - but very hot in the room where the computer is.
Anyway, my favourite holiday - well in actual fact I have 3
Number 1 and top of the list waas December 1992 - our 25th wedding anniversary and Paris here we come. We started off early in the morning to catch a train to London followed by another train to Dover. Boarded the ferry and sat down to half a bottle of champagne - with money my mom gave us - there were 4 people on another table and they asked me if we were newly weds - to which I replied no we have done 25 years !!! Paris was wonderful . we were there for 5 days but saw nearly every inch using the underground railway system. On the evening of our anniversary we had a romatic dinner in a restaurant where a pianist was playing a babt grand piano. Just wonderful. So far we have never been back - but one day who knows.

Holiday number 2 - was a week in Majorca with friends - to celebrate being 40 ' my mom looked after our two sons for us. This was the first time we had been abroad - never been on a plane before. Well, my friend always liked a little fun and games - so they sat me next to the window on the plane and just as it was taxing along the runway she put a large plastic bin liner over my head !!! Our hotel was situated just over the road from a wonderful sandy beach and blue sea. We saw most of the sights of Majorca in a week and I even found out I could rise a bike - although my rear end was feeling the strain !!

After this holiday I was determined our two sons would not have to wait until they were 40 before going abroad and we took them to the same hotel on Majorca the next year. To see their faces on the plane is something I will never forget . they were so exciited. They swam in the pool and we hired bikes and had a wonderful week. I will always remember one night the boys wanted to play pool - put the money in the slot on the table and our youngest shouted out 'what's Spanish for a ball is missing' - the place errupted with laughter. Happy days.

Hope my ramblings have not bored you all.

Enjoy your day and stay safe

Love Mary xx

Tess
I enjoyed reading you piece about holidays, it reminded me of very happy times as young child visiting my father home.......plenty of food, plenty of crack, meaning talking, not the nasty stuff! The freedom to wander comes across very well and I loved the description of how you had to climb up to bed.
Looking forward to your next piece, any ideas for subject.?
Take care
Bridget

Not so much a holiday more a way of life.

1955 - after over two and a half years we had just returned from the Tropics (where may had had been with the British Army).

While abroad we hadn't seen any cousins, or aunts, uncles etc. the only family I saw (or spoke to), were my parents and siblings.
We had already stayed with Aunty A. and her family, what a treat that was. When one of my older cousins was free Mum and us three (young) children went to Ireland. The country of my Mums birth. It was the first time for us children, and Mum hadn't been home for years. We went by train to Holyhead and then in the Irish ferry to Dublin. After more train travel, we went to my grandmothers home. This was the first time I had seen her, (or she had seen us). So that made it special.

Nan lived in the countryside, with a view of The Galties.
There was no electricity or tapped water. We slept in the loft, getting there via a steep ladder/srairway (no bannister.
Water from a rain barrel by the side of the house, or a spring across the fields. Cooking on an open fire, light from oil lamps (suspended from the ceiling) Toilet (a chemica loo I think) in a shed at the back of the house.
Free range chickens, roaming around the place.
The smell of soda bread cooling on the window-sill.
Eating potatoes with milk (instead of gravy).
Sounds of chickens and cattle the only thing to disturb the peace.
Very precious memories to treasure forever. Especially chatting to my Nan.
After a couple of weeks, on to an Aunts and Uncles, parents to a large family, so lots of new cousins to play with and talk to. They had electricity and tapped water. But the toliet was outside.
Several children to a bed, always room for one more at the bottom of the bed, no-one ever complained, not even the cousins who had to give some room in the bed to their "English" cousins
They too kept chickens. One day, while playing five-stones at the back of the house, the cockerill took a bite of my arm! I think that this was the only time I cried while we were there.
The was a stream just across the road, a gate to swing on, a donkey pulling a cart carrying milk churns.
On special a trip to Bally Bunion (the seaside).
Aunty Mary had a the knack of geting lots of children in one small car, no thought at all of health and safety.
The sands were great, and we also had some rocks to sit on, best of all, a new treat, perry-winkles in a paper-bag, yum-yum.
Home time, count the children back into the car, and sing "show me the way to go home"
A quick visit, to my Mums oldest sister, who lived in the house where Mum was bought up. This house had been modernised --- Aunty had a range! Wow! I wanted one.

A visit to a cousin of my mum we called her aunt B. and her husband Uncle J.
First introduction to Uncle J. was when approaching their home we saw a pair of feet and ankles, up in the air, just the other side of the hedge, the feet kept pace with us .. was it magic? No, it was Uncle J. a white haired man who must have been ariund 60, still able to walk on his hands, even in the fields. Something he often did to entertain us.
It rained while we stayed with Aunt B and Uncle J. another cause of celebration, I got my first pair of wellingtons, loved them us much, that I wouldn't take them off and went to bed in them that night.
Such a friendly, laid back sort of place. I lapped up everything Ireland had to offer. I'm sure I must have come back to England with an Irish accent, so became the Irish girl for a few weeks.

So no big material treats, just friendship, family, fresh air, and memories to last a life time.

Tess