General Chat

It is a nice autumnal day here. OH is out walking, for once I have the car while he is out, but I can't be bothered to go out. How sad is that. I can't be bothered to do anything really, not even clean the windows,so I must be ill :-(

I am in contact with most of my first cousin's which are all on Dad's side. Mother being an only child was always with her first cousins on her mother's side, reason being she was brought up by her gran and then her mother's sister and brother's families.. therefore I am the lynch pin in the second cousins and the only one that remains in contact with my 2nd cousins in the states.

I am really sorry to read that about your friend Sue, it is more or less a double whammy for her. Her father does sound rather selfish in that respect. His wife if she outlives him, may find out one day (as we do) about everything.

I have no nieces, OH has three nephews but we have only a little contact with the eldest. His sister left her family when her youngest was a little chap. He did come and see his grandfather when he was recuperating in Auckland after cancer treatment and himself met him at the hospital lodge a grown up in his early twenties. We had not seen him since he was about three and he would be knocking on 40 now.

One very nice thing with OH' s sister's children .............. we send birthday and Christmas cards to the children, with a cheque in each time.

They all ALWAYS send a thank you note ........ a scribble from the young ones below Mum's thank you, but every one has started writing something themselves as soon
as they have learnt to form letters.

She brung 'em good!!

we have another storm coming in this weekend ........................

it is supposed to rain overnight, hopefully it will be dry for the Cenotaph services and marches tomorrow. I certainly hope so!

But then the downpour starts on Thursday .... they're talking 100mm or more for us over 3 days :-(

On the whole we rarely have contact with nieces and nephews except for my brother's youngest son. He and his partner visit from time to time but I accept they have busy lives with work and family. I have contact with my brothers but my sister has distanced herself from the family which is sad but there you are.

Warm and humid here although we have a cooler change coming with rain.

We have been so busy with one thing and another and I'm feeling tired and drained :-(

It is more difficult with the younger ones. I keep in touch with one niece because she posts on Facebook. My other niece still lives at home with my brother, so I see her from time to time. Her brother lives with a friend and I rarely see him, but then he doesn't speak to his parents very often

I kept in contact with my brother, and OH kept in contact with his ssiter

But he has found now that it is more difficult to keep in cotnact with his ssiter's children.

He'd promised himself that is what he would do, but it gets harder ................. they're young, with young families, and very busy.

I have contact 2 or 3 times a year by email with one of my brother's children, one has died and her daughter responds to contact with "Hi" and that is all. The 3rd child has basically cut herself off from everyone for the last 25+ years, she had some contact with her mother, but her sisters rarely heard from her, and we have had none ............. she would even make arrangements to meet with us on our trips back to England, then just not turn up.

It is sad when families break up. When my mum was dying and all three of us were round her bed, she made us all promise that we would stay together and keep in touch regularly. As the oldest, I was given the job of making it happen

We do ring each other and see each other as often as we can. It would be so easy just to let it slip, but I think it is really important to make the effort

oh, how sad

but we do so often hear that from people who trace their long-lost parent(s), whether they've been adopted or the parent has left home.

It must be so difficult to accept.

Hello Tec - what a lovely surprise to see you on here. We would never forget you - you are too much a member of our gang :-D

Oh dear Sylvia - I do hope you feel so much better soon.

Linda - what a windfall. It would be like winning the lottery and much better than Christmas.

My mother was a hypocrite but there you go :-| I have found out many a fact in my research. One thing I never told my father was that his beloved sister had lived with her 2nd husband for over 10 years before they were married. He would never have believed me and it didn't matter. And the number of widowed ancestors who married their housekeepers :-0

An acquaintance of mine tracked down her father who didn't return to his wife and 2 daughters after the war. She first found that he hadn't died and then found out where he lived. She contacted him and he reluctantly agreed to meet her. She travelled to Queensland and met him at his home......as well as his wife who he had bigamously married. They had children and grandchildren. He introduced her as his niece. He told her he didn't want to see her again and asked her not to tell his wife about her mother. She didn't see the point in ruining his family's lives and never contacted him again. Very sad.

I don't think my father expected me to conform.

After my mother died and I asked him where something was that my mother had written in my photograph album. He said he tore it out, and said your mother should not have written it and she should not have done a lot of things or said a lot of things that she said.

same here

I found out in my mid-teens that my mother had been engaged before she married Dad ........... her fiance left for Canada soon after the engagement to "make his fortune". After a couple of years, dad persuaded her to go out with him, and eventually asked her to marry him.

She broke off the engagement ................. but later saw that man in the centre of Manchester in around 1955. He recognised her, and said he had only returned to the UK in 1939, to join up.

That's when she told me the story.

My brother had no idea, and didn't know whether to believe me when I told him

But I knew nothing about Dad's past

My father told me about his own family i.e. his holier than thou sister.

But I never really knew that much about him other than his farm life, bushman's life, school days and army. He never ever mentioned girlfriends and he did not get married till he was 41. He certainly told me some stories though but there was always that that was never said.

they all kept their secrets, didn't they, yet tried to make us conform :-)

My grandmother made such a fuss when one of my cousins had a baby before she was married. She did marry the father a couple of months after her son was born and they are still together all these years later.

When I did the tree, I found out that my grandmother was born two years before her own mother married. My father had no idea his mother was illegitimate, she kept it very quiet, but she did know because she omitted the fathers name on her marriage cert

Persie ............

i had the same from my mother and grandmother ................ I haven't found that Mum misbehaved too much

BUT both grandmother and grandfather lied on their marriage, adding a couple of years to their ages. It still didn't make either of them 21, and both their fathers and other family members were apparently at the wedding, so I still can't see the point in it.

But grandmother was also 2 or 3 months pregnant with Mum at the time :-)

Amazing what you can find out when you can buy bmds :-D

Oh dear Sylvia, you poor thing I hope you feel stronger soon

You would never misbehave persie, you are a totally upstanding citizen

Good to see you on the boards again Tec.. we do miss you and it is lovely to hear (read) little snippets from our Linda.

Linda, I have found out only too well to not rely on some of the things that relatives have said and found out more by myself... my mother really did have me believing that her family were saints and that I was the first to 'misbehave' ... woops a daisy no I was not. She came from a long line of misbehavers and there were probably more but escaped the "shame" brought down on the lot of us.

The NZ electoral rolls were a boon on tracking down where people were here. Not just for myself but for me finding others for people, before the rolls went on line (up to 1981). I would spend hours in the library going through the books. Our microfiche was another good source. We have so much that is freely available compared to other places like Tasmania etc.

Tec ..........

how lovely to see you posting xxxx

Linda ........... that's what I would call a "mother lode" of a gift.


Sue ..... what a lovely weekend :-D


I had a rotten weekend ............. I had diarrhea from about 3:30 am Sunday morning to about 2:00 am this morning. 'm slowly easing back into normal life, but feel weak and very tired!

The only consolation is that it was raining for most of the time, so I didn't miss too much!

It is brilliant to see you posting Tec, you have done very well to manage

I am in seventh heaven because the visitor who came this morning gave me photos of my great grandparents and lots from my grandparents and early ones for my father

There is even one with the name of my great great grandmother on the back, she died in 1871 and one of her husband who died in 1909

There is a brilliant studio portrait of my great grandparents and their children with the official studio stamp of 1902 on it

It is like Christmas come early, in fact even better