General Chat

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she went, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex"

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, and said "Supersex"

He sat quietly for a moment or two, and finally answered,

"I'll take the soup"............................

Tec

Oh it just gets better!

Tec

Good one, Tec

At least I appreciate your humour.

I think that there may be something lacking in the female genetic code because my OH's reaction to my jokes is preciely the same as SueMaids!

Allan

Well I have to admit I did find Tec's joke very funny:)) It's not that we don't have a sense of humour it's more that we're choosy about what we laugh at. Also I've found that most men will tell the same old joke over and over. When we've heard it told for the 100th time we get a teeny bit fed up:))

Sue xx

Nooo....surely not, SueMaid!

By the way, have you heard the one about a Polar Bear in a pub?

lol

Allan

Sue.........We will endeavour not to tell the same joke twice on here.

Allan ......I've never fallen in the Seine, the Rhine, or the Nile, but hanging out with a bunch of crazy Aussies I was pushed into the water at Circular Quay in Sydney.........
That little gang got me into all sorts of mischief over the years, but I was known affectionately (I think)
"Our mate the pommie galah"

Wonder I was never locked up!

Tec.

Good morning all. Another lovely day coming up.

We do tend to talk about the weather a lot, don't we? However, to explain this to the Poms - not only is our country so vast that it has all types of weather, but over the past few years, the winters seem to have become more and more mild. Winter is June, July, August with July/August being the time to go south to the snowfields (for those who like it) and whilst this is happening, those of us out of the range of snow, should be having heavy downpours. I haven't seen a heavy downpour for years! Also, our temperatures should be best at 12 to 16 and we are getting them around 21!

This is why we have been talking about them so much. It's not normal for Aussies to talk a lot about the weather - but the weather hasn't been normal!

A fairly dry winter brings the fear of a very dry, arid summer - and the likelihood of fires.

Tec....ah that good old aussie humour! I was also reffered to as 'a bit of a galah' or a pommie b*st*rd and so long as the speaker had a smile on his face I took it as just a term of endearment!

Mind you it wa usually used just after I had been explaining my latest faux-pas

Good morning, Berona. Sorry the fellas seem to be ignoring you. They are so amused with themselves they are forgetting their manners:))

Sue xx

Good Morning, Berona

As Janet said yesterday it hasn't been cold here but the wind has been blowing constantly and then last night, downpours.

It has now been a week since I last did an early morning walk!

Good Morning to you Berona...........

That is interesting what you say about the changes in your weather, especially the regional differences.
I think the climate has changed worldwide. Our winters are nowhere near as cold and severe as they used to be. It is many years since I saw a proper winter here. By that I mean a significent snowfall, a metre deep, and icicles three foot long hanging of the guttering.
We do seem to have much wetter winters here, and where I live although itis generally mild in winter being coastal, we do get some horrendous winds and gales.

Tec.

No, I'm just a very slow typist. Two fingers and if i get really confident sometimes three.

By the time I'm ready to post, another six pieces have appeared!

"You silly galah, I'm better by far, than a white cockatoo or a budgerigar;
They squeak and squawk and try to talk, why me and them's like cheese and chalk"
Ba da da Doo dee ba doo doo doo...Boo da da doot doo doo doo
He can't fly but I'm telling you, he can run the pants off a kangaroo...

Sue:)))

lol SueMaid

Seriously, I've not heard that one before

That's very good Sue - I've never heard that before.

Talking of galah's - if you want to own one as a pet here, it will set you back around £2,000

Well chaps and chapesses, I have to put the ball away, and climb the wooden hill.

So have a very good day, or a very good night, and thanks for the laughs!

Goodnight
Tec.

OLD MAN EMU
Words and Music by John Williamson

Let me tell you of an interview with an Old Man Emu
He's got a beak and feathers and things, but the poor old fella ain't got no wings
"Aren't you jealous of the wedge-tail eagle?" - dom ba da little da da da

"While the eagle's flying round and round, I keep my two feet firmly on the ground
I can't fly, but I'm telling you, I can run the pants off a kangaroo".

doo dee ba doo doo doo , boo da da doot doo doo doo
He can't fly, but I'm telling you, he can run the pants off a kangaroo.

Well he was the model for the fifty cents - oom ba da little da da da
The designer should have had more sense - oom ba da little da da da
If you take a look, it'll prove to you, I ran the pants off that kangaroo.

Doo dee ba doo doo doo...Boo da da doot doo doo..
Take a look it'll prove to you, he can run the pants off the kangaroo.

You can't loop the loop like a cockatoo - Oom ba da little da da da
Swoop and toss like an albatross - Oom ba da little da da da
"You silly galah, I'm better by far, than a white cockatoo or a budgerigar;
They squeak and squawk and try to talk, why me and them's like cheese and chalk"
Ba da da Doo dee ba doo doo doo...Boo da da doot doo doo doo
He can't fly but I'm telling you, he can run the pants off a kangaroo...

Well the last time I saw Old Man Emu - Oom ba da little da da da
He was chasing a female he knew - Oom ba da little da da da
As he shot past I heard him say "She can't fly, but I'm telling you
She could run the pants off a kangaroo". -

Ba da da Doo dee ba doo doo doo Doo dee ba doo doo doo...Boo da da doot doo doo doo
She can't fly but I'm telling you, she can run the pants off a kangaroo

Well there is a moral to this ditty - Oom ba da little da da da
Thrush can sing but he ain't pretty - Oom ba da little da da da
Duck can swim, but he can't sing, nor can the eagle on the wing
Emu can't fly, but I'm telling you, he can run the pants off a kangaroo.

Well the kookaburra laughed and said "It's true, oom ba da little da da da,
Ha Ha Ha Ha Hah Hoo, He can run the pants off a kangaroo"

Sue xx

Flamin' wedge tailed eagles and emus

When i was working in Leonora, my car was fitted with a "roo bar. great if you hit a roo but if you hit an emu it sort of buckled at the knee and flipped on to the bonnet. IF you were lucky it didn't smash the windscreen, just put a nasty dent in the bonnet

As for the eagles, they fae on road kill and sometimes were so full thay they couldn't get properly airborne and youd be doin 130kmph with this big bird at windscreen level. You couldn't brake suddenly as the roads were gravel. Although I never hit one I could just picture one comming through the windscreen and landing on my lap

I suppose it's hard to imagine the difference in time and weather in a big country when you live in a smaller country, and yet, your population is so much more than ours is. That's the beauty of this thread, Tec - we are learning about each other!

Allan, I have used a keyboard for more than 60 years, so I'm a fast typist, and I can never answer someone on here without getting at least half a dozen other posts in between. Give up, mate - you'll never make it!
Perhaps if you try at a time when others are asleep?

Goodnight, Tec:)

I'm off too. We have to go out and pick up 42 kgs. of sausages.

Enjoy your day.

Sue xx

Good Night Tec

Allan