General Chat

Absolutely nothing, Ann in Glos. No - I have not been invited to this wedding in the terms outlined. I would have politely refused in any case.

The subject is on this public forum with the intention, if I am not mistaken, of receiving contributors' opinions. People who ask questions should be prepared to have answers and, as we know from experience, some replies touch the nerve. There is little benefit in everyone nodding in agreement with the initial posting. That is not a real debate.

My initial reaction was that the reception was booked in this instance before the guest list was decided - cart before the horse. But, of course, I may be wrong. I have yet to attend a wedding where there is no hitch or annoyance - most problems are, in fact, caused by adults.

A wedding day is an important day not just for the special couple but for their families too - young & old. May it always be so.

Dermot
The question i asked was,,,what did others think to parents who would bring 3/4 uninvited children to a wedding and LOCK THEM IN THE ROOM,,
I didnt invite opinions on wether children should be invited or not,
And it really doesnt matter how big the venue was,,,,Kids would still not be invited,

Ann and Daff,,,you have my gratitude at understanding what i was trying to say,,,

Clearly Dermot think the whole set up is anti children,,,Its simply a question of finances,,

Claire,

I have understood you from the start!

Elisabeth
x

Well:

Locking the children in a room is close to/is cruelty? NSPCC? Or is that going a bit OTT? Either way, the parents are completely crazy.

As to the other "non-topic" about children being invited to weddings, I have to say that if I ever marry my OH - and as we both have grown up children and (mainly) grown up friends and family - I would say "no children please". And I would be extremely aggy if anyone turned up with a child - especially one who screeched!

Jill

Claire I am inclined to think that Dermot enjoys a good argument.... sorry debate!

I have been to a few wedding's over the years where my kids werent invited.I didnt take the 'huff' about it. You have to draw the line some where when it comes to numbers. People should understand that,without trying to get round it.



Marion

Girls,,,,,, Im inclined to look on the side of,,,parents appreciating a rare day out without kids,,,Not folks taking the huff because we cant /wont fork out for and extra 50+ meals that probably wont get eaten,

I dont see a problem with somebody not wanting kids there. The numbers can fairly add up if 'everyone' brought theirs.

I know exactly what you mean Claire! My son already has 120 ish guests for his wedding, and doesn't want to pay for 30+ childrens meals which will not be eaten. So the only child at his wedding will be our daughter's partners son (hope you're still following!)

But back to your original question. No-one should take children to a wedding they are not invited to. And no child should ever be locked in a hotel room.

I can empathise with this situation and its really down to the bride and groom re children.

I was married last year and had a ban on all children that were not direct family of the bride and Groom at my wedding (neices nephews and Godchildren were invited), well for the wedding breakfast. Its costly enough to serve in our case 70 three course meals plus drinks and childrens meals do not come much cheaper, it would have doubled our costs to have all our freinds children too.

This caused a big falling out with a 'freind' who did not attend and we have not spoken since but there is a case of where do you draw the line?

All children, family or not were however invited to the evening reception and buffet and a play area was also created. Everyone but this one guest accepted this.

I suspect the bride and groom are having a hard enough time trying to create the perfect day and plan tables anyway without adding children to the mix. Its their day, let them do whats best for them and respect their wishes.

No one wants to start married life with an 'issue' re family or freinds.

As for locking the children in a room ..... I just cant even reply to that!

Ive just realised this wedding would have happened by now so congratulations to the couple - I wonder what happened in the end?

Claire
I hope your daughters wedding went well!! Did they bring their children? My daughter was married at the end of May and if any of my son-in-laws friends had said the same I would have told them that if they tried locking their kids in a room that I would report them to the appropriate authorities. You just can't take chances with children now. Plus I would have stated that they would ruin the wedding carrying a baby monitor into the ceremony.
Ruth

Amazing, isn't it.

We had very few children at our wedding, simp;y because we were so young when we got married the babies hadn't been born yet.

It's different these days.

No couple should have wailing infants during their vows.

If you can afford to pay for the kids then have a creche during the church service: if not, then state, and stick to, your wish to have no children.

When our daughter was 5 mths old we went to a "no children" wedding of our very best friends. we weren't in the least bit offended and had some space without our new baby. We left her with my father. This was the last time he babysat for us - and she is now 24!!

Of course, a wedding isn't the place for children, you have the first 9 months after the ceremony to sort that out

If guests have small children then they make arrangements for them to be looked after during the ceremony, by a relative or friend perhaps.

Afterward, fine but again put them to bed at a reasonable hour.

Wonder if claire is going to come back and tell us how it went??

I hope she lets us know.

A wee nudge.

Hi Claire

To be honest with you if I was invited to a wedding and my children was not I would have to let the people know that I was not comming.

Not take them anyway and lock them in a room that is wrong. The people should have declined the invertation.

It is your Daughter's day and her wishes should be respected

Deb

Just to add something else: we are issuing party invitations to my husband's 50th and we have invited children as it will be at home. To our great amusement one couple who are bringing their (very small) children have also asked if they can bring their 2 dogs!!!

Dogs Helen!........well, I suppose if you don't ask, you won't find out......

I would have thought though, that strange dogs and excitable children would not be a good mix........after hearing all the screams and shouts of delight from the many children at my Granddaughter's Christening on Sunday........and there, the farm dogs were settled in another room in a quieter part, away from the noise and bustle.......