General Chat

What can one say? There are so many people losing jobs at the moment. How the Govmt thinks it helps the economy I do not know. Wish I had enough money to employ a general helper to take over from OH who is finding things hard. He doesnt like driving, it hurts his back, but without the car we are stuck for drs appointments at reasonable times. The charity bus goes twice a week and with his back he finds sitting in those small seating areas difficult. Reaching up to tp shelves is now a pain in more ways than one!
Sharron, hope your OH finds another job quickly.

Hello.Have not been on this thread for hundreds.

Four years ago today the old man had his stroke and fourteen glorious years ago yesterday my mother died.This meant he had ten good years at least.

His new wheelchair came this week but it has no table so he is finding it difficult to place his plate to eat,which did not stop him going to the church hall for his dinner yesterdau There is a tray on order but it is anybody's guess as to when that will come.

Just to round things off nicely the other half lost his job yesterday.

Ah caught you there Huia lol Dopey dinosaur lol Actually she sounds lovely, she has to be a she if she is purple and pink lol You can call her Liz if you like lol
I am sure Phil will like the hippo.
Bless him walking round in his undies. Can you not find him some warm socks with the rubber bits on the bottom to stop him slipping as he could wear those when his feet get cold. I keep forgetting it is coming up to your spring/summer isn't it? It's good to hear he is walking a bit, keeps his circulation going and will keep him a bit healthier too. Just as long as he doesn't go walkabout and get lost.


You are as bad as I would be - buying things when at the shop. I had a parttime job at a Terracotta shop one year, just one day a week when the chap who owned it went out to pick up stock or such, occasionally more days when he went abroad to buy pots. He also sold plants and soothing tapes (before cds lol) and other nice things sort of plant and decor related and I used to spend nearly all my wages on pots for my plants. I have several stored in my house that I never got round to using.

Jean, so sorry your leg is so poorly. I can't remember if I mentioned it but I wonder if Manuka honey would help it heal, my neighbour had to use that on a leg ulcer and it was doing well until she knocked it badly in a fall and opened it up again. She ended up having to have skin grafts bless her.

Wish I was in your neck of the woods, I would come and visit and make you rest. Stop worrying about others so much and sit back a bit more, look after yourself.
Hope your o.h.'s back eases so he can do his wood turning again, I love the things people make like that.
Most years we have a Norwegian group of people come over to Great Yarmouth and they have a craft fair, they make some amazing things and o.h. and I have both got some nice wooden ornaments etc from there.

Haven't been for a couple of years so must have a look and see when it will be this year, and try to get down there.

I meant to go to bed about an hour ago, night night lol

take care all
love
Lizxxx

p.s. o.h. is over his uti and had a check up at his doc's yesterday including a check for enlarged prostate, seems all is ok but he is having a psa test later on this month.
He had his diabetic eye screening too and he forgot to tell me about it so had to drive back after having the drops in his eyes and then drive to the optician to pick up his first pair of prescription sunglasses. At last he has some he might wear so will save his eyes from more stress - the cataracts are in the very early stages so far and he can manage at the mo with his specs, altho he has several different pairs, one for long sightedness and one pair varifocals and now the sunglasses etc
Am hoping he will be ok for a while now, no way do I want to end up being his carer, need time to leave before he gets to that stage, let his sons take over!

Phils face and arms felt hot yesterday, but as usual his feet felt cold.

This morning I was working at the Hospice shop and I finished up buying a gorgeous blue velvety hippopotamus! I thought it would make a nice cushion for his head when he falls asleep in his chair - if I dont keep it for myself. I also bought a dopey looking purple dinosaur, with a pink crest on his back and pink toes. I thought the look on his face was so cute. I will give it the Hospital. They have a few soft toys there and it is so colourful. But then again, I might want to keep it myself. Perhaps it is a female dino and I could call it Liz, after our purple friend on GR. Not that she is dopey, I hasten to add.

Huia.

Hi Huia

Yes I posted just before bed last night.

Good to hear your OH is up & walking about, as that is what he likes to do.
As for his trousers he was probably uncomfortable in long pants so his way of fixing that is to strip.LOL. Have had clients do it to me as they sometimes can't verbalise what they want.
As long as he can walk where ever & for however long he wants with out going anywhere I am sure he will be happy.
Enjoy your day.
Hugs to you both

Hello Ingrid, when you wake up. I presume your piece was done just before you went to bed last night.

I visited my OH yesterday. He had apparently taken his trousers off, so the staff found a pair of shorts with a drawstring that could be tied. He had also been walking around a lot and was still walking while I was there, much more active than he has been sometimes.

I am off out again soon for most of the day, so better do the breakfast dishes.

Huia.

A BIG Cheerio to all Carers out there.
It's been nearly a month and all quiet on here.
Hope everyone/ everything is well and your all looking after yourselves.
Hugs to you all.

Purple, I had my first cataract operation at 54yrs, and my second at 58yrs, and can thread a needle with no trouble, and see as far across the valleys as anyone else, so get him to the specialist and explain that he needs his eyes for his work. That sounds daft, we all do, but you know what i mean.
I have Jude, who e-mails me most days and comes to take me out occasionally and we have a good day out, and she's only 60. I keep thinking of things to say about events in the past and she finds them extraordinary, the age gap being so large! We are not a couple who chat all the time, content just with the company being there, but the computer is my lifeline to sanity sometimes! I met Jude through GR.

Dear Jean,

what a worry for you with your problems and your o.h. not feeling up to his woodturning, my o.h. likes wooden things and we often stop at the craft stalls where people have made lovely things. We have several around the
house. I hope he will feel better able to work at the lathe again as he enjoys it so much.
Wish there was something that could be done for your poor leg, it must be upsetting that there doesn't seem to be anyone around to visit you, I know you look out for others. Is there a befriending service in your area, where a more able bodied person can pop round to do any little things you need help with or even just to chat and take your mind off things sometimes.
We have it here and a male friend of mine has been helping a disabled man and his carer, just popping in to see them or helping on a day trip or something.

I should look into getting an electric recliner, they are so useful and would help rest your legs. As trafiklitedol says you could use your imagination and wish yourself anywhere away from the daily grind.

If I stick around here I can see me ending up as o.h.'s carer, his optician told him last week he has the beginnings of cataracts and he is only 56, it seems young to me and as his job involves fixing and maintaining computerised machinery in a cardboard making factory, he needs to be able to see small things, and see where the screws are and such. His company already pay for his spectacles for work and what with dodgy eyesight and a knee without it's kneecap after a bad fall years ago, so he finds it hard to kneel down in the small spaces inside the machines, he is getting very doddery! He also has diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and has had a bleed on the brain so doesn't really bode well for the future.

Take care

Lizxx

Sorry to hear that things aren't improving. The idea of getting a reclining chair is a good one. You can lie back and imagine you are on a lounger on sunbaked beach being waited on hand and foot. A fantasy, I know, but wouldn't it be lovely.

Wish my OH was able to vanish into a shed for a couple of hours but It's just as well I can dream.

Things have been getting slowly worse for me, my leg is still weeping and looking up the reasons for it are a bit of a worry. It seems my heart failure is getting worse and the arteries in my legs are not coping. It seems I have venous ulcers. I match all the pictures and symptoms. Still being the one people turn to when they want to know anything, and still visiting those who cant get out. Ask myself who is left to visit me? Do spend some time with legs elevated every day and thinking about a recliner chair if we can fit one in. OH has been having great trouble with his back and has not done much woodturning lately. he will spend more time at it when the winter is here, it is cosy in his shed. Sells just enough to keep him in tools and wood. keeps him from deteriating.

It's along time since the last posting.

Is everyone OK.

Yes, Purple, it is going to come to on-line shopping eventually. I have tried it several times, but we dont get out much, not having many friends left in the district so enjoy a trip out to the big supermarket now and again. We go over a railway crossing, and there are no trains in Monmouth so its quite exciting when we seeone, all two carriages of it, from Abergavenny to Hereford. There's sad, isnt it!
OH's nose bleeds have stopped for now, and he has had his eyes checked to see if that was causing the headaches. I have a sneaking suspicion he has been taking too many aspirin, and the cure can react badly if you do that too often. He bleeds at the slightest knock, so have managed to persuade him to take paracetomol instead.
I have my left leg all bandaged up by practice nurse, and am taking anti-biotics to try and cure the weeping of the leg. It has to be watched carefully because of the diabetes and chemo in the past.

Dear Bob

I am so sorry you have had to part with your loved BH and share her with so many new people, but what a lovely person you are who can share his feelings and sadness with no shame, nor should there be. You are so articulate and caring. The world would be a better place if there were more men like you.
I do hope the care given to your BH is as good as that to Huia's Phil, and that you can enjoy some special times together when you visit, but in a different way to those already shared. You have a wealth of memories that I hope will help see you through these days and weeks of change and it's great that you have a good support network for yourself. Treat yourself kindly and learn to be a little bit selfish, you have given for so long, be prepared to take a bit too as you get offered support and friendship. Once you get used to a different routine things will fall into place and you will be able to find new things to fill your time.

When you feel sad, think about our Huia with her Santa hat on lol I just had a giggle to myself as I read that, don't be offended Huia, but it just tickled me thinking here we are in high summer and there's you hunting out the Santa gear! Have a lovely time at the mid winter party!
You will have to write yourself reminders on the calender of when to check oil and such. Good idea about the garage door notice! I have to write reminders all the time for o.h., he is so forgetful.

I don't know what's happened to our Sharon, I miss her stories. Does anyone know if she is ok?

Jean, hope your o.h.'s nose bleeds can be dealt with, so debilitating, I remember having to visit my friend's hubby when he was hospitalised with the problem, there he was with two tampons up each nostril!
Maybe you can do a big shop on line but still pop to the shop for an outing and to get other bits and bobs that you prefer to choose yourself.

best of both worlds then and not so much strain for your o.h.

take care all of you,

love, and (((hugs))) for anyone who wants them

Oops, nearly forgot to say Hi to Ingrid

LIzxxx

My very best wishes to you Bob. Dont be afraid to let the tears flow, people understand. I hope the place your BH is in is as good as the place my Phil is. I will be visiting him again today. Next Wednesday they are having a mid winter Christmas party so will have to hunt out my white santa hat to wear!

Huia.

Bob, now that you do not have the day to day care to worry you, you will be more able to see what she needs and watch that she is getting it. Sometimes when you work all the time with dementia it is difficult to tell the wood from the trees and forget that some vestige of the person may still be in there somewhere. You have done the best you can and no one could do more.

Bob

Glad to hear your BH is settling in well. Personilizing her room will make all the difference.

You are allowed to shed tears as you go through this stage . As you are grieving for what you once had and no longer have.
You will probably be surprised at what triggers it.

Sounds like you boys had a great few days catching up, you probably needed the R&R.

Thoughts & prayers are with you and all Carers.
You are Wonderful People

Hugs to All

Hi All

They say "a week is a long time in politics" or is it a day? No matter but there has been no posting for longer than either, so here goes.

BH went into care on 25th June a seamless transfer from her four days at day care. The family personalised the room and we are all delighted at how well she has settled in and we are all grateful that it continues to be so.

However we were listening to a James Blunt CD with daughter and grandaughter the previous weekend and when coming to the track “Goodbye My Lover, Goodbye My Friend” it triggered, firstly a flood of tears and then deep uncontrollable sobbing until daughter gave her old father an embrace. My suspicions were right that that might sneak up on me, however the reaction lessens each time I tell the incident.

Just before leaving and when sitting together for the last time in the lounge. a Kereru (native pigeon) alighted on a Puriri tree outside the window. Unusually it stayed for seven or eight minutes. I got my camera, quietly opened the window and took that shot. It was only when I had downloaded it that I imagined it hiding its tears behind the leaves. But hey that's me!

After a stop-off for afternoon refreshments we settled her in. Later in the day as I left, the heavens opened up. I imagined again that they represented the shedding of tears of all the friends who loved my BH who had loved and embraced them. But hey that's me again!

The next day I went to the eighieth birthday for an out of town cousin and then my brother and I went to his bach for a few days with two slightly younger cousins (mid-seventies). We played one game of golf, laughed from dawn to dusk and only stopped for coffee or meals. We had to do that otherwise we would have choked. What a great break knowing that the family were overseeing the care side of things.

I try to explain it this way. There is a calendar and decision-making time and the two are not synchronised. You know that the time is very close based on the advice received. But the decision is made when the bed in the chosen facility is available. I have come to the conclusion that the timing could not have been more perfect. Who would be presumptuous to say that the 1st August or September is the right day when you know it is very close. I did feel the tears coming again when I heard the CD song when visiting today. "We'll meet again some day!" Yep, me again but I am OK with those for I would be more worried if I could not have a tear.

Just been busy sending a card with photos of the "Crying Kereru" and us having coffee, (the waitress had to get on the footpath to take the shot through the open window). On the front I had some roses and the BH labelled ribbon slightly unwound to show our lives unravelling with this fifty-three year break from sharing a table together. I did not feel as though I could wait until Christmas and pass such news on. We still sit and have a cup of tea together when I visit but it is not quite the same as your own table.

No I am not playing more golf just tying up some loose ends.

Love to all.

Bob

OH had his nose cauterised years ago, but they dont seem to do that here anymore, I dont know why. Some sort of chemical is used instead. He is planning on finding time to go to the surgery next week, our regular GP is off this week, and he is the only one he can talk to.

After doing the breakfast dishes I drove over the hill to the valley. In the campground by the carpark was a tent with my old highschool logo on it so I chatted for a few mins with some women in a campervan, who were with the school group (the others had gone on a long walk). I then walked up and across the dam, taking some photos, then back down and came home. The computer would not accept the new photos. I recently connected a new scanner and I think that has thrown a hammer into the works. I will have to unplug it and see if I can get the photos on. Blooming machines, think they can rule us.

I used to have heavy nose bleeds when I was younger but some years ago I saw an ENT man and he decided to cauterise it. I havent had any problems with it since. Touch wood!

Off to light the fire and get my dinner on.

Huia.