General Chat

So glad you were able to see Phil, Huia. It isn't nice when they don't recognise you. My mother in law was ill like this too. It was good you were able to leave Phil without too much distress for either of you too.

When is Phil being assessed for care, to see if you can get full time care? Please let us know how you both are getting on.

I do read most of the threads you add to, even if I don't always add.

Take care........... sleep well and enjoy meeting with your friend.

Linda :o) XxX

Hi Huia.

I know it can be distressing when you leave OH at the hospital, but try not to let it worry you. The staff are used to managing situations like this, and can very quickly distract him.

One other tip I learnt the hard way, is not to argue with them if they say something you know is not true, particuly if they are refer to relatives you know are no longer with you. Just say something along the lines that they will be coming along later, or are busy at the moment.

One elderly gent I met when visiting someone, kept asking if this was the right place to catch the train, and when was it due? He seemed quite happy when I said it was and that it would be quite a while, so why not sit down etc. What was the point of upsetting or confusing him further?

This is something that seems to be forgotten on both sides isn't it? Whatever we are dealing with is a new and terrifying experience to us.To the medical staff it is an everyday situation.They are not being callous,they are doing what they do every day.

Whatever we are doing we are not the first and as sure as Hell's awaiting we won't be the last.

If you look at my posting on the Just Jean thread you will see that Phil was the least of my problems today! I keep saying things can only get better now, but I am wondering what the doc might find wrong with me tomorrow, after everything else that has happened, and I also think my long distance vision has altered quite a bit.

Huia getting ever balder.

sorry,I haven't looked on the Just Jean thread.Doesn't stress make your hair fall out? You wouldn't have had any stress would you? Much!

It doesn't matter how much back-up is provided there is always the stress.I am still in bed when the carers come in the morning but I am usually awake and tense,waiting for the sound of the hoist or the old man speaking,just to be sure he is still alive.

Hi Huia and Sharron

To put it in the context of outside caregivers help, our one put it this way, we are doing what others would do in three shifts and do the meals, washing ironing (as little as possible, but summer is coming and the jumper will not hide the creased shirt) and cleaning, pay the bills and generally organise two lives. I said in my last years Christmas letter : -

"I have always thought that mothers deserved medals, and not crosses. Now, I am even more conscious of the role their hard work, responsibility and loving support plays in family life. Perhaps this role could even make an impersonator like me, “a little crazy”! Is that the same as saying that one is, “a little pregnant”? There is no uncertainty about the latter condition, however the jury’s verdict is still awaited on the former."

From what I have seen and heard everyone does the very best within the limits if their own strength, health and age. Just as there is a season for everything there is the season for letting go when we feel that the care requirement has gone beyond that limit.

I hope all your health issues are resolved quickly Huia.

Regards

Bob

Bob, this was something I always used to say to people who left their relatives with us for respite care. We were able to put down the burden and go home not thinking about it until our next shift, whilst they had to cope twenty-four hours a day. No one can carry on like that without a break or they will be ill and then there would be no one to do the caring, so dont feel guilty.

I am not actually ill as far as I know, although knowing the things that have been going wrong lately it wouldnt surprise me if the doc found something terribly wrong! I was just going to have a general check, bp, etc, to make sure all the tiredness and stress hadnt had a bad effect.

Yes, we home carers cant knock off the job at 5pm. We are on duty 60/60/24/365 unless we can find somebody to come in and give us a break. I think I was misled about having to get somebody to come here while I went away. That was the problem, wondering who would come who would be prepared to take him for walks (what you would call hikes and I would call tramping). We dont have a nice level round-the-block concrete path or a level grassy park nearby so the helper would need to expect more than that.

I must go, havent had a shower for 4 days! Cant go to the doc all smelly. Must start to look after myself a bit better.

Huia.

I knew it! My bp was up a bit but that is not surprising. However I asked about an itch I have had you-know-where so he looked. Not cancerous but possibly precancerous so I will have to go to the super dlinic sometime to get it checked.
What next? But at least I wasnt upset when the doc told me because it wasnt immediately dire and a friend who is a docs nurse elsewhere was waiting to have lunch with me and I cheerfully told her about it. It was only when I told the charge nurse in the hospital of my latest problem that I burst into tears. But I will beat it if it is precancerous.

Huia.

Huia
Still keeping you in my thoughts. Good thing you mentioned your worries to the Dr and you will be checked and any treatment started as soon as possible.
I hope you enjoyed your lunch with your friend.
It is all these little things coming together that are knocking you down. But you sound such a strong lady that I am sure you will get through.

Take care

Linda :o) XxX

Huia

Tears with a friend are a great start for relieving the soul and the rest of our being at the same time. Helps to show that our heart is in the right place. Hope she gave you the big warm hug that is the specialty of a good friendship.

Kind regards

Bob

Bob, it wasnt my friend that I wept to. It was the charge nurse in the hospital when I went to visit my husband. But just after I had typed my last piece and put it on here there was a knock at the back door and when I went it was a woman from down the road, who had given Phil some walks. I immediately burst into tears so then I invited her in and told her all my woes (after we had hugged). She left almost an hour later and I do feel better for it (the weep and hugs I mean).

Huia.

Please don't put off going to the 'super clinic', and try to get a friend to go with you to hold your hand. Don't keep your family in the dark either, even if you play it down.

Thosw cries are probably doing you big favours.I expect you have needed a good cry for ages.

I need a good swear,so here goes,bloody,bloody,bloody,bloody.
The old man's catheter keeps leaking.He doesn't actually need one but it is fitted for convenience,yeh.It is no big deal but has entailed three nurse visits and one is pending this morning.It may stop him going out shopping on the bus which is very important to him
I feel a bit fluey but must take the old car down to the dealers to get the new one,it won't start,it is rough,the police will stop me.There is a lorry load of blackberries to be dealt with and jam to pot.
Oh bloody,bloody,bloody.

DET, I will have to wait until I hear from the super clinic with an appointment. Yes, I might get my friend to go with me as I am not sure what is involved. I have already told my children and sister about it. Of course it might be nothing but with my youngest sister dying of bowel cancer (which the doc put on the letter to the clinic) and dad of leukaemia you cant be too careful. I hope I get the appointment soon so I can rest easy or start fighting.

Sharron, I have cried more in the last 7 months than I have cried in the previous 73 yrs of my life, so not sure if I do need 'a good cry' but as I have said to several people I am good for the economy. The forestry and paper tissue making industries and the panadol makers wont be going out of business in a hurry. I am sorry about your OM's leaky problems. I have also done some swearing, which I never used to do when we first married, in fact I think it was when my son was a teenager and really tried my patience that I first let rip. Now I can swear like a trooper. (How does a shame-faced smiley look?).

I told Liz (the purple one) that it is a pity we couldnt be cloned then I could have one of her here and she could have one of me there. Why dont we all try getting a few clones of ourselves to share with each other to help share our loads?

Huia.

Sharron and Huia, you're wonderful people!

What ever life throws at you, you still manage to have a laugh! (: - D))

(really having a chuckle here)

Huia, I had a similar problem and mine turned out to be psoriasis, which cant be cured but can be contained with the application of creamm and ointments.

My d.i.l. contacted the rest home of my choice and they say they will hold a bed for a fortnight, but will need to see the papers from the hospital before he can be accepted. We are hoping that info will speed up the hospital decision, although I dont see how they can decide to send him home. You will hear my screams from here if they try. Bob, you had better get high quality earplugs plus earmuffs, just in case.

Huia.

It won't be doing your health any good if they send him home and you are important too,make sure they remember that.

As expected,car broke down on roundabout,a busy one naturally.Police came along and asked me if I was insured to drive it.Would I sit in it and wait for them to come along if I wasn't.Interested bystander before you could say knife!
It is at the dealers now while my new car is being made ready for me on Saturday,can't wait,good old scrappage!

The catheter seems to have been sorted out,God I hope so,I can't afford to keep me in Tena Ladies never mind him!

Oh Sharron, you and I make a great couple with our tales of woe, dont we. At least it is a nice sunny morning here. I realised last night that I hadnt changed the sheets on our bed for a month, if not more, so washing morning here, then in to town for eye test for new glasses this afternoon.

Better get on with it (but look at 3 other threads first).

Huia.