General Chat

Hi All
Pleased this thread is on again. I contributed a few time on the last one but I don't always have the time spare to be on the computer that often.

I look after my husband (for the last twelve years). He sufferd a brain haemorrahage in 1996 while working abroad. He suffers from short term memory loss and is physically disabled(uses a wheelchair) but I know that there are a lot of people are in a far worse position than myself. It's just nice to know that when I'm feeling down I can have a rant and people will understand where I'm coming from.

Poem for Carers of those with Dementia


Perhaps he is aggressive; perhaps she is rude.
Maybe they are quiet, or subdued
You may feel nervous or even scared
with people whose minds are now impaired
But before you turn to run and hide
Look at the body with spirit inside.
Remember when they could recall friends & family
with no trouble at all.
Remember the love, the joy & tears
which you shared together throughout the years.
Now it’s gone, you can’t have it back.
Dementia has begun it’s ruthless attack.
Think of the families who struggle to cope
With the disease which offers so little hope.
Think of their anguish & their pain
When recognition has gone
And they try to explain –
I am your husband; I am your wife
Together we shared a wonderful life.
It’s hard to be patient, loving & kind
To a person who has such a muddled mind.
But it’s what they deserve & what we must give
Each & every day, for as long as they live.

Dance In The Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8.30, when an elerly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.
He said he was in a hurry, as he had an appointment at 9.00am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.
I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress the wound.
While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzhiemer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognize him for five years now.

I was surprised and asked him, ' And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are'? He smiled as he patted my hand and said, : She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is".

I had to hold back the tears as he left. I had goosebumps on my arms and thought, ' that is the kind of love I want in my life'.

True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is acceptance of all that is, has been, and will not be.


The happiest people don't always have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm but how to dance in the rain'

To all carers, You Are Gods Angels, Bless You.

Yes look at the Alzheimer's victim,if you can find them.

At least I know what my dad is up to now he has had the stroke. A few years ago he shipped in a girlfriend.We had always known her and she was widowed at a similar time to him.We just didn't know she was in the early stages of dementia but I was pleased he had somebody to look after and keep him quiet.

Eventually most of my free time was spent looking for her.She was a master escapologist.

For reasons that seemed good at the time,we took her to the church fete where she disappeared again.Having done the village tour and knocked on the usual doors,we knew who might have her indoors,we found her cosily chatting to a man who lived across the road to the church field.He was also in the early stages of dementia and they were sitting comfortably together o the sofa with a cup of tea and his photograph album.His wife had given herself a little break to go to the fete.

I will continue to fight for the retention of our Admiral Nurses ,but as "for dementia" is a charity they only part fund the rest has to come from the local authority and it is they who say they can no longer fund them so another way has to be found and it is not looking good!

I was so proud that my county was the first in Wales to have these specialist nurses and will be ashamed when we lose them to lack of funding!

Dementia is a horrible and cruel illness and only those caring for someone with it understand what a heart rending , lonely and exhausting job it is to care for them.

Hugs to all that care whatever the illness.

Linda x

PS Ingrid someone I know said what is the point in visiting someone when they no longer know you? The answer should always be .....but you know them!

A nudge for the night shift.

hi all, i have a brother with downs who lives with me. I also work for the county council disability service. My role is to find suitable accomodation for people with disabilities either in supported living schemes or in independent housing. If anyone needs advice on housing options for families or individuals then i would be happy to offer suggestions and support. We are also one of the counties which piloted the personal budgets so can also offer info on how it all works!

LindaMcD

Thats so true, you still know them & Love them.
I am a Community Care Worker, going to peoples homes to help with their care. The company I work for are Dementia Specific so we are all trained in Dementia care and have to do refreshers every 12mths.
Every day is like a Box of Chocolates, You never know what your going to get.

Love & Hugs to All Carers.

Linda, my box of chocolates consists mainly of those with Brazil nuts or almonds or coconut, none of which I like.
Huia.

Hear,hear! Carers are wonderful.

My old dad would not be at home if I had to deal with his ablutions.

We had the lady from the council round today to see about being re-banded for the council tax.

Hello all you wonderful carers. Hope you have a peaceful night.


Will nudge this up in the hope that it helps someone during the night.

How has everyone been today?

Well, Cynthia, today is barely started, just finished breakfast. I hope it is a better day than yesterday. Due to insufficient sleep I was not a 'happy chappiess'. But did get through a bit of tidying and throwing out of stuff. Something I have been trying to do for the last 2 months in case we have to sell up and move to town. Dont want to move but the help for us country yokels is virtually non-existent.

Huia.

The speech therapist came yesterday,she is not coming any more.

I suppose I should be proud we have made such progress in the old man's speech,he is fairly coherent now and usually uses the right word,that we no longer need her,but she was my only link with any sort of support.

The only time I have seen an occupational therapist was when she came to adjust his arm support.It seems they felt it unneccesary to come out to him,he was not going to make much progress,my a***!

We have had a physiotherapist twice in over two years,once because the speech therapist organized it!

We carers also need support.We do need somebody to tell us we are doing it right occasionally!

Sharron, that is so hard not getting any support. I am now entitled to 28 days respite care but I have to find somebody to come here to care for OH while I go away. I cant put him in a rest home and stay at home myself. My sister in law has said she will come if I want a break but she works on a Wednesday and she has 5 daughters and lots of grandchildren so I couldnt expect her to drop everything and come running and stay for more than a couple of nights. Still, that would be better than nothing.
I am also entitled to day care. I think the idea is that if I want to go shopping or whatever (eg dentist, visiting friends) unencumbered by my OH I can drop him in at an approved resthome. I think I have to make a payment, not sure how much, but worth it probably to get a break.
About 6 weeks ago a local volunteer firefighter offered to take OH for walks on Fridays when his wife goes shopping as they walk their dog every other day. That gives me an hour or two. Today a man called here just before they got back. A year or two back we had found his puppy and got it back to him, so he decided to come up (he lives not too far away) to see if we needed any firewood chopped or any other jobs done. I felt quite overwhelmed. While we dont need any help at present I told him I would remember him if we did. I also found it nice to sit over a cuppa chatting to him and the vol. firefighter. A bit of social life is quite good.
Huia off to bed soon as her OH is on his way early. (If I dont go early I get woken early then I get very grouchy.)

BTW, when I posted that last one the time was 8.52pm and OH had been sleeping on the settee for an hour.

Huia.

Ingrid

I have just read your post and it really did bring a tear to my eye. What a lovely man.

Good luck to you all. Having been a carer myself for many years ( no longer ) I feel for you. It is not easy and can be very lonely at times. We sometimes win the battles with officialdom, but never the war, it seems.


Susan
x

Fiona, I am in New Zealand. I am sure the respite care used to be in a resthome but they changed the rules recently :-((( It probably cost the govt too much having them in a resthome. Instead the carer will have to pay for a hotel/motel/whatever if they dont want to stay with relatives/friends, but want to be like Greta Garbo.

Huia.

here in Monmouth when I was working we used to take people in for respite care, so carers could have a holiday or even go in to hospital themselves. It worked very well, and did the patient good to be with other people. I think it can still be done now.

Hi every one..

Hope you have all had a good day, even if it did mean dodging the showers.