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Daff ( part 3)Page 97

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 6 Apr 2010 13:06

Was that lists of hurty bits or lists of things that hurt to do?

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 6 Apr 2010 13:14

Just lists of normal household chores....... the things I would do every day. My *homework* was to write a list (which I do anyway) and then half it... delegate some of what is left and then cross off everything that is non-essential. I should then be left with a list of essential tasks... so that these are broken down into small chunks....

I don't delegate to B enough... but R does help quite a bit. We did a quick practice of emptying a dishwasher.... it seems that emptying is harder than filling it!!

The physio is not about making me fit... but about learning to live with the aches, and still getting on with essentials, so that I don't get bogged down by them.... I have to change the entire way I work... and adjusting to the fact that I'll never be *right* again, even if I lose all the weight, is a first step. *sighs* Slowing down it's called, lolol

Love

Daff xxxx

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 6 Apr 2010 13:52

Right, Well first thing then is to delegate to B more. ask him if he wants to see you unable to do anything and explain that if he doesn't pull his weight that will happen. But only delegate essential things and emptying the dishwasher and washing machine are two of the essentials. Maybe also get him to put the cleaner over the floor occasionally, R can't be expected to help as much as B because he works long hours.

Then you need to look at the heavier jobs in the garden. Which do you do because you have to and which because you want to. delegate some of the former.
From what I know of you, you have an 'easier to do it yourself' attitude. It isn't if it hurts.

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 6 Apr 2010 14:00

Have you been talking to the physio, lololol...... you sound just like her, lolol!!

I have to say it is the hanging around waiting for B to get up.... easier to do the jobs myself, as you say...

I know you are right.... I must gird my loins, lol and start nagging, for a change! I do try not to nag.... but they don't see unless they are told, do they?

B used to be a very intuitive youngster, too, helped if he saw me struggle, but like most lads didn't think to offer before the struggle started, lol.... he is just up , now... saw him walk past to the kitchen.... so he is early today, lol.... but he'll need a couple of coffees and ciggies before he comes around, lol!

I shall get a list of jobs for him to do, so I will, lol! Promise.

Love

Daff xxxx

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 6 Apr 2010 14:05

I thought he had got out of this habit of awake all night and sleep all day. can you not get him to see that it is unacceptable under your roof. I do wonder (not that it is my business) whether he is taking advantage. How about running the dishwasher first thing in the morning so it need emptying when he gets up, instead of late and you feeling you have to do it first thing when you get up?

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 6 Apr 2010 14:16

It goes in bouts, Ann.... I get a bit cross, and it eases for a couple of days, but then slowly creeps back to his all night awake, sleep all day.... then he makes a bit of an effort, because I have words with him just before Littlie comes to stay.... he was a a whole lot better last time.... except he lolled on the sofa the whole of one day!

I have some serious concerns.....!

The dishwasher is always put on in the morning.... they are all so noisy and the walls quite thin, so once R is home, the machines are all switched off. He does his own washing... but forgets to take it out of the machine.... so I do it just to get ours in.... or the same with the tumble dryer, so that I can use it. At least with the warmer weather, I am getting a lot dried on the line.

I know that I am going to have to do something, and only I can do it..... I am my own worst enemy.... and yes, he is taking advantage, quite a bit, actually.... so I must deal with it sooner rather than later.

Love

Daff xxxx

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 6 Apr 2010 14:43

At least you seem to have the bit between the teeth now. I know it is difficult for him, no job, must be boring etc but not only are you your own worst enemy he is his own as well. I hope when you take his washing/drying out of the machines you leave it in a tangled heap!!!!

edit to say, maybe a BIT cross is not enough.

ButtercupFields

ButtercupFields Report 6 Apr 2010 15:08

Afternoon all:)) Dentist and Physio over, that's good. Daffy when my son lived here he also slept in the day and stayed up at night and it used to infuriate me as I have always been an early riser.There was much flouncing and flinging on my part. But now, he is up at the crack of dawn and goes to bed just like us folk! lol It is so hard for you as in the normal course of events, your son would fly the nest and that would be that. We get used to doing things our way, at our time, and that is the way it should be. The way I see it, it is up to him to adapt to your ways not the other way around. But easier said than done, I should think! It is a cliche but it is true....boys are different! lol

Beautiful sunny day here:)))))

Mwah! BC XXX

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 6 Apr 2010 15:15

BC, my son will be 37 next month, lol.... I hope he changes soon.... R would be a night owl, given half a chance..... but of course he has to get up for work, and it doesn't take much to disturb him.... it isn't fair on him, when he is the one putting food on the table and paying all the bills.

I will do something dramatic, I promise.... not until after the Peterborough meet, though, as he will be needed to feed the puddy cats, lolol

Love

Daff xxxx

ButtercupFields

ButtercupFields Report 6 Apr 2010 15:20

Clever Daffy:)) lol BC XX

Mauatthecoast

Mauatthecoast Report 6 Apr 2010 16:02

Hello everybody! :O) Hope you're feeling okay Daff and not overdoing things.

My OH has been a Godsend these last few weeks,I've felt like a Lady,well i am but,you know what I mean.I've not been doing housework much and he's been i*****g. and 'allsorts' lol but he will keep telling folk and I have to keep reminding him he's only doing what i've done for years,still he is a treasure ;O)

Bet you're all looking forward to the Big Meet?

Mau XX

Mazfromnorf

Mazfromnorf Report 7 Apr 2010 07:30

morning all well here we are half way through the first week off .i am getting a fair bit done so am quite pleased .would love to cut te grass but is still too wet . .I am hoping that by the time the wedding is here that the garden will be a bit more green its quite barren here at the moment .My laveteria looks very dead too
but we have another month yet almost lol I havnt got my handbag yet though lol

ButtercupFields

ButtercupFields Report 7 Apr 2010 08:40

Morning Maz, in another month I am sure your garden will look stunning! I am off today to replace the plants which got killed in the frost. Either the garden centre or Ikea for a patio umbrella. I would prefer one of those pub ones but nobody will sell me one! lol....

A big hug for our Mau and wishing her better very soon. Hope Daff and Mr D much better now and that all is well in everyone elses world.

BC XX

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 7 Apr 2010 08:40

Hi Maz, the grass is not growing much at all OH says the golf club are still off winter tees because the grass has not grown. What colour bag are you looking for?

Hi Mau, strange isn't it when the men are so proud of what they do which is what we did for years. My OH, bless him is really good around the house but he does like praise for doing it. When we both worked he would help a bit and was great with the children but I did all the ironing, washing, and 70% of the gardening and all the cooking and he thought nothing of it. (for a lot of that time I worked full time as well!)

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 7 Apr 2010 08:41

You skipped in there BC, good morning have a good day!

Mazfromnorf

Mazfromnorf Report 7 Apr 2010 09:07

well thats the paint for today on well if i use the kitchen for a while it would get touched lol
Ann I am after a white hand bag or ivory but something I can use again my shoes are white and my combs are too
BC the garden is growing well the grass is about 6 inches plus but just very wet still .

Mauatthecoast

Mauatthecoast Report 7 Apr 2010 11:26

Good morning All
Hope you are well Daff,and your OH too,I think.we could all do with a bit of warm sun on our bodies.Don't overdo things re.h*******k!

Sunny here today Maz,grass is growing well,I heard the first sound of mowing yesterday,so thinking yay Summer is acoming! I'm frantic to get out into the garden now to do baskets & plants.
When is your family wedding? great excitement in your house then?

Are you looking for a Guinness umbrella BC? hope you find what you're loking for
A big hug back to you (X)

Yes Ann I've a good husband who has always helped around the house,but I had to laugh when I overheard him telling one of his mates (tongue in cheek I think lol) "there's nothing to this 'washing lark' you just put them into machine!So why didn't he do just that when I worked fulltime all those years lol I wouldn't change him though :O)

Hope everyone has a good day
Mau XX

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 7 Apr 2010 12:06

Morning all.... busy day today.... I had problems getting onto GR earlier!

We slept in late... I took two of A*** sleep aid last night... within 20 minutes I was out like a light, woke at 8 for a pit stop and oil change.... then fell back into bed for another hour.... well, almost 2, actually.... It took a little while for me to come around... but whilst I was doing so, got the lamb (last of weekend joint) into the slow cooker with some onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, pepper and courgette... all bits and bobs *left over* from our weekend store cupboard.... and R says it already smells wonderful... I have also l put a load of washing on..... and B emptied the dishwasher last night (!), so it was all there ready to fly this morning, so easy peasy... and I have watered my plants in the conservatory, fed the bokashi and the wormery, and written my list, lol

We are going to spend the day in the garden... R has already started, he is loading the car up ready with stuff to take to the tip... B is going to help him., he doesn't know it yet, mind... I will tell him in 5 minutes when I go to wake him.

I have decided that mid-day is his cut off point.... if he isn't up by then, I shall turn everything up full blast, and go and disturb him every five minutes until he does get up. If he doesn't like it, then he knows what to do!! lol

Glad you are beginning to feel better, Mau.... yep, spring has well and truly sprung here, and summer is on the way... I am so looking forward to it!

Yep.... Saturday should be good fun! It looks like there will be a lot of us going...... I shall be very ladylike and proper, lol ;¬))

BC.... Mmmmmm I can just see you carrying a Guiness Umbrella on the train back from Peterborough....... or a Bailey's...... !!

Maz, I am knackered just listening to what you have done!! Our grass has started to grow, now, but only just.... it'll need mowing soon... R or B will do that tomorrow or Friday if the weather is reasonable.

Sorry..... can't finish this..... lolol..... have to start waking B, lol..... I shall report back this evening!!

Love

Daff xxxxxx

ButtercupFields

ButtercupFields Report 8 Apr 2010 10:44

*opens curtains and lets the sunshine in. Morning all:)) Just back from the park and it is THE most stunning day, clear blue skies and lots of sun and warmth. I am now about to do all the things I couldnt do yesterday due to waiting all day for something to be delivered (my new Bank card) which just arrived at 5pm! Why cant they put it in the post I ask myself!! Anyway, hope Daff is feeling better today and good to see Mau is posting again.

Mwah for now.....BC XX

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 8 Apr 2010 10:48

Morning all.... we had a very busy day yesterday..... I sorted out one corner of the garden, and it is looking lovely, lol.....

Today the weather is beautiful very sunny, so we shall spend the day out there once again.... I only want to amble, though, as we have a long journey tomorrow to Peterborough, and I don't want to be knackered before I start, lolol

Son has the veg patch now well under way, at last, and sowed some seeds in the grids he set up.... the seedlings we have been growing in pots are doing well, now, and ready to be transplanted... he'll do that over the weekend, he said, while we are away. He worked hard once he was up, so maybe he has turned a corner.... he has always been a hard worker in the past!

I am sat in the conservatory, with the door and the windows wide open.... it is beautiful!! Well, except for the enormous bluebottle that flew in and now can't find it's way back out.... oh and there are bees!! We have seen a few buzzing around today.... not the Queen bees, we have seen a few of those already, but the *normal* bees, dipping their heads into the camellia and daffodil flowers.... the woodland area looks stunning, the dicentra has started to flower! Everything is coming up nicely.... Ann, your dad's sedum is really doing well.... I am going to try and take a couple of cuttings from it next week.... maybe even today, but I am running out of soil to put them into.

Right.... have a lovely day everyone, and hope you are all well

Love

Daff xxxxx