General Chat

just giveing this a nudge in case anyone need's it,
Hi to all who read this thread, hope all is well with you, and your journey's are going well.

Diane x

Hi to anyone who is reading this,
hope all is well with you and thing's in your life are good, wanted to nudge this up for anyone who may need it,

Take care

Diane x

Just thought I'd nudge this up
Hi to anyone looking in, hope you had a good Christmas and wishing you all a Happy New Year.

Diane

Hi Jeanette and Sheila
Jeanette sorry that the Gov register didn't give you what you wanted but as Sheila said don't give up there are alway's other way's you can find out information and I hope you get some good information from LMA next year about your mother and her twin sister and that you find out a lot about your Grandmother.
Isn't it great when you see a picture of some-one and you have never seen it before, When I saw the first picture of my BM I had all kind's of feeling's going on, then when I saw one of her at the age of about 17yrs it was amazing because I saw myself as a teenager. I sent the picture to my granddaughter's by e-mail and asked them who they thought the picture was of, and all 3 said it's you Nan you never change , when I told them it wasn't me it was my BM I don't think they believed me at first.
Anyway hun good luck with your journey and I hope you have some good new's to tell me soon.

Sheila I'm not to bad at the moment hun,still feeling a bit deflated, after the letter from HS. I will PM you as I don't want to discuss to much on here.

Hope all who visit this thread are well and hope you have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year

Diane x

Hi Jeanette,

Sorry the contact register has not thrown up anything , have you done all the normal things to help with the search, but brother in your tree, and posted messages on some of the adoption sites that are free.
You need to ask if he has ever viewed his file and ask can you leave a letter with it telling him you would welcome contact if he wishes it.
The agency may even agree to help you with your search.
Do not give up hope I know of people tracing their birth family every week behind the scenes, so there is hope :O)

Diane

How are things with you now ? things any better ? hope so :O)

To all others out their looking I wish you well in your search, if you need to ask questions or sound of to others in your situation feel free to join us.

Take care all x

Hi Diane

Sister has heard back from Gov Register and there isn't anything on there, so looks like she will be going for a search and contact after New Year. I am off to LMA next year as I think I have found lots of records for the Workhouse Infirmary (where my mother and twin sister were born) so hopefully will be able to find out who my Grandmother was, will most probably make it a dual thing and accompany my sister when she goes for her first interview/counselling session with the Intermediary service.

Apart from that everything good, have seen some beautiful photos of my mum and someone sending me a pic of mum in her Lyons Tea House uniform, think they were called nippys and sending Christmas cards to my new relatives....wonderful. Hope all is well with you Diane and hope to bring some more news after January.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and best wishes to all 2010 Jeanette xxxx

Jeanette
Have you heard anything yet from the Gov adoption contact register, if not hope you hear something positive soon hun.

Hi everyone hope you are all well, no one has posted for a while, if you have any new's to share, I and other's would love to hear your new's, whether it is good or not, as I have found it help's to share even when it doesn't turn out the way you would had hoped as other people's support when you need it can help,
Take care and good luck with your journey's

Diane x

Diane,

Hugs, keep strong and hope your dreams of a reunion with your BM come true.

Yes just waiting now for news to come back from the Gov adoption contact register 3 - 4 weeks, this is the next step.

I know so sad about the twins, and seeing the first photo of my auntie, and being identical, well you can imagine, 3 new cousins having the lady hysterics lol. Have photos where their hands are in their laps and they are both holding a finger, incredible.

To all who come onto this thread for the first time, as Sheila said a trouble shared is a trouble halved and read these type of forums it gives you so much insight in your own searches.

To all searching now and to all those who are reunited god bless.

Jeanette xx

Hi Jeanette
I enjoyed reading your story, and thought how sad your mum never met her twin, I think it is really sad when twin's are adopted seperately and brought up without the knowledge of the other, it is a sad thing for sibling's to be seperated, but I think it is worse for twin's. I think the law should change and when there are twin's involved they should only allow adoption to go through if they are adopted by the same family. My own seach did not go as I hoped after finding my HS thing's turned nasty on her part, I am disappointed the way thing's turned out but at least I tried.
I hope your journey continue's well and you get the result's you hope for
Take care and good luck

Diane x

Thank you Sheila and Jane for your best wishes.

I haven't just been researching I have been doing a lot of reading on adoption site forums, as on this one with posts about adoption, and you are right Sheila, not every story has a happy ending. That is why I have recommended to my sister that she does as I have because I have been living this for the past month, where she has just been receiving information from me, and it just gives more of an insight into it regarding feelings, including how the adoptee must feel when an approach is made out of the blue to them.

I don't think anyone can be prepared for a rejection of any sorts even though they say they understand if that person doesn;t want contact because they have had a happy life etc, but one thing it will do is answer the question yes I have done something and my adopted sibling is no longer a mystery, as in the case of my mothers twin sister. This year I can send flowers to my mums twin sister's grave, a physical acknowledgement.

But it was wonderful news this morning to find out where my brothers adoption file is and this is going back 60 years.

I must say that the BAAF site with the link to Adoption Search Reunion has been invaluable, that told me who ran Amherst Lodge and where the records were held, just by having that I was able to email 3 of those organisations, 2 who told me they did not have records and one who confirmed they did.

Also invaluable to other people who put Amherst Lodge into the community search engine on here they will come up with this post, and in hope this will help them. I have been also able to help one other person a work colleague who said she was adopted and wanted to find out that I gave her After adoptions helpline.

Jeanette x

Oooh Jeanette,
Excitement and trepidation !!!.We have all been through this on this thread.I know I was on a high for weeks when I discovered my BF and walked around with a daft grin on my face for weeks lol.
I know someone who used Norcap and said they were very good,but also the After Adoption people too I have heard were excellent.
Good Luck x

Hi Jeanette,

Welcome to our thread :O) feel free to pick our brains or just to sound of it you want too ;O)

Adoption searches are not easy for many people, I would always advice against going into this search with rose colourd glasses, there are many sad stories along the way, that said most of us know when the time it right to do this search, and if things do not work out fo us, at least we know we have tried.
I wish you success with yours search, for your half brother.
On a more practical level I been in touch with loads of other adoptees over the last few years, must admit I have not been involved with Norcap but they have a good reputation., and offer great services.

That said I think I would tend to go with after adoption, as a few of the adoptees I have helped along the way, say very good things about them,

Good Luck to both of you :O)

Thank you Shims for the welcome, and this very morning just after doing a month's research on behalf of my sister for my half brother but her full blood brother, after many phone calls and emails and countless reading I have had a reply from LMA to say that my brothers adoption files are with them....omg heart in mouth and shaking like mad just rang my sister to pass on the news we are up in the air...on the first rung of the ladder.
She has just registered with the Gov adoption contact list...and after getting any sort of news from them she will be going for an intermediary. I have done lots of looking into an intermediary agency for her, sadly we cannot use a social services one so going for a voluntary one. Think it will be a toss-ip between Norcap and After Adoption, I did like After Adoption after speaking to them, anyone have any thoughts about the two?
I know the history about this adoption of my brother, and as you say it has been moments of highs and lows. Have just traced my mothers twin sister, they were born illegitimate via a workhouse infirmary and then boarded out separately, my mother to alcoholics who beat her with a poker, and her twin suffered emotionally, passed through several families (she must have wondered what she had done wrong). They have since both passed away, so there is terrible sadness that they didn't get to know each other but our families are now in contact with each other, and guess what they were identical twins.
The father of my sister and her brother said one day and this was before the boy was born "going out" and never came back.
My poor mother when she said she had a rotten life was she right, she said the only happiness she had was with my father and he was taken too soon, he died just before he was 61.

So thoughts are with you all who are still searching, and blessing to all who have been reunited.

Jeanette xx

Morning all. Good to see this thread is still running.

Morning Shimms and everyone.
Can't stop this morning,things to do places to go and people to see .
I hope you all have a good day today.x

Morning everyone :))

Oh Diane big little sis ((((huge hug)))), I'll be here when you're ready to talk ... truly understand that feeling, have been there and ... am there at the moment, my 'past' comes forwards with such a BANG at this time of year. xxx

Jane, I adore you (((hug))) ... thank you too my dear friend. xxx

Hi Sheila, am having good and then what I call 'blue' days when I can't stop sobbing. Am so very lucky ... learning to ... well, I have some very very special friends who have been there for me lately in my hour of need. xxx

Hi Eileen (((hug))), so good to see you ... when I feel 'blue' I think of you and it reaffirms my belief in hope. xxx

Welcome Stevie my dear friend, tis lovely to see you here. :)) xxx

Welcome too Jeanette and you are so welcome ... we've all walked different walks here, held hands on our 'rollercoasters' ... laughed, cried yet the best thing is, we have made some true friendships. In touch with so many who have come here, I feel quite humbled at times truly I do. xxx

Off to wash my hair ... takes an age, truly it does. Poor Cass is in need of his walk, will get one just not at this moment. He is norti, goes through our catflap, (how?!); sits on our patio table, legs it when I try to dry him as he returns from having run in the rain outside lol! He is lovely though, truly he is ... everyone adores him, says they wish their Staffies were like him; always nice to those I say are friends ... um ... think I'd be his friend lol!

Take care, wishing you all such a good day and Diane, if you'd like me to phone you I will. Giving you such a (((huge hug)))), holding your hand as always ... sometimes tis just good to have someone listen and I will never ever judge anyone.

(((((((((((((((((hugs for all))))))))))))))))))

xxx Shimms xxx

Hi Morning all ;O)

Just popped in to see how everyone is doing here, Diane how are things with you Hun, hope things are getting better now, if you not up to it, maybe be better to leave contact on a back burner, till other things in your life ok.

Shimms

Glad to see you popped in, hope your ok and that you got through the other day ok ........

Jane

If I can be of any help to you let me know, sad about your Hubbys sister, but we do not know what was going on in her life, maybe it time for him to let bygones be bygones, life is to short to be bitter.

Eileen

I have bot seen you around for a while, mind you, your search is now over ;O) how is it going between you both, have you managed to meet up much?

Anyway take care all xxxx

Thanks steve

Nudge for Jeanette.

Thank's Shimms
will speak to you when I'm ready hun, hope the ankle isn't too sore.
take care ((( little big sis )))

Luv Diane xxx ((((( big little sis )))))