General Chat

My half brother (never met) was born in 1951.
On his birth cert it was from my father and his "wife" with the same surname.
I have looked at my parents divorce papers and find that the divorce was for the following year. I can find no marriage between father and 2nd wife.
How can this be? Was he a bigamist?
My half brother is the one piece of family "jigsaw" missing. I would love to meet him.
Sue

Hi Susan

Did your half brother stay with his Mother ? where they married or was he adopted ?

I found a second cousin on GR who had been adopted, and it was lovely to meet up. She found a new family, I was able to fill her in with details of our Great Grandparents, and other second cousins.

As I dont have many rellies myself, it was good to find another one.

Mo

Thank you to the couple of people that replied on here about my half brother.
I haven't been on here for a few days. I have got a fractured finger (squashed in a car door) which makes working on the computer a bit painful!!
I had put it on quite some time ago. I had some help but didn't find out much.
I will try again.
Sue

Once more to the surface, if anyone else wants to add, please feel free. Thank you to those who have added so far.

Hi Again

I do not think that that the majority of searches end with discontentment, I have probably been in touch with hundreds of adoptee's over the last few years as well as BM 's and siblings.
As long as you all go into this with your eyes wide open, then you can prepared for what happens.
Many re-united families get on well, but it would be unfair not to also mention that the likes of Norcap also have a sections for rejected adoptee's to help them get counselling, likewise, some birth parents may be rejected, so I would not be biased on the side of the adopted person.
What I would say is even when things do not work out well, most people are glad they took that journey as like you say you cannot rest till you have tried.
What you have to also realize is after the initial euphoria of the search and being re-united, things settle down to normal, a lot of people then feel as if they are being rejected again in a way, it is not that but you have to settle down into a normal relationship.
If you normally do not speak to your sister , brother Mother for a few days at a time, this is how it will be with you re.united family, but as they do not know you , they may think you interest has begun to wain.
It is like a courtship where you getting to know each other, first you spend all the time talking together, then seeing each other, when you settle down you do not need to do that all the time, because you secure in how you feel about each other without having to constantly prove it.

My Sister put it right she said one day, I am looking forward to out first argument, I did not get it a first....... till I realized we could be ourselves with each other , and not worry about walking on egg shells, and saying something to offend each other, we could accept each other then warts and all and still like each other, something that does not always come naturally when you where not raised together :O)

It never bothered me being adopted,and I always knew ,I must have been very young when I was told.I only ever remember once a school friend of mine said at the school dinner table that Mum and Dad weren't my real parents.I think just for a short while I was upset ,but by the end of the day I was fine.
It wasn't really until I had my 2 that I started to wonder about where I had come from.When I decided to look I went in with a completely open mind and would not have been upset if things hadn't worked out.
I was just curious rather than having a need to know something.
Helen x

Yes, Julia it does make sense to say "something is missing" the only way I can describe it is an incomplete jigsaw, and that is from the birth mums side, so how the adoptee must feel I have no idea!!

With reference to my previous post, if my Mum were able to meet her half brother she woud love to, she doesnt expect some tearful, holloywood style reunion but she would like to have more of an idea of her Bmum and what sort of person she was, she has no resentment over the adoption and had a privileged upbringing with her adoptive parents but ever since she found out she was adopted she has felt like a peice of her was missing if that makes sense???

Julia

Kathy, thanks for adding that to the thread, it is so heartwarming to read. I may be mis-interpreting some of the replies that have been put here, but the underlying theme seems more discontentment, than contentment with re-unions. Am I right?

n

n

Hi Susan,

Was your half brother adopted ?

Helen,
I am sure they did know....., they gave you a Wonderful secure family and happy memories, what more can your parents do for you :O)

Putting this back to the top again, case anyone has anything else to add. Thanks for your comments so far.

Hi Susan, have you tried putting your half brothers name on trying to find ? You never know someone may be able to help.

Hi,
I was looking for my birth father and his family. Birth father died in the 1970's so never met him.
I looked for my birth cousins and found them. We had a good get together. I am still in touch with them.
I know that I have a half brother out there somewhere but it is hard to find him. I have the proof from a birth cert.
I will always wonder where he is!
Sue x

Morning all.Just bringing this back to the top in case anyone has anything else they would like to add.

Thank you Uggers,been a member of GR for a while now but only just felt confident to put on something of my own!! Sorry to hear you are leaving have always read your threads with interest. All the best with whatever you are doing.

Hello Captain Pugwash - I do discuss them frequently but I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it on here for several reasons. Good luck with this:)

Have just seen Uggers is leaving GR.