General Chat

Dear LW

My thoughts are with you - God Bless your Mum.

Love & Cuddles
Steph xxx

I have just seen this thread Liz and want to send you a very big hug and tell you Im thinking about you and your Mum,I saw my Nana at the mercy of this disease too.

With love,

Caz xxxxxx

pm'd you, love, will be thinking about you and your poor Mum, bless her.

Lizxx

Thinking of you and your mum. Its isnt easy for anyone when its your mum its even harder.

((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

LW ,When Mum kept pulling her drip out,it got to the point where I asked for it not to be put up again.It was clear by this stage that it wasn't going to be too long now and I just wanted her to be as peaceful as possible and kept comfortable.She kept saying I cant do this anymore.So I said why didn't she close her eyes and have a nice long sleep.I had to leave to travel 300 miles and sadly she died just before I walked in my front door.I wish I had stayed that little bit longer ,but you just don't know when it will happen.
I hope your Mum doesn't linger too long .It's different when something can be done for them,but when you know it is just a matter of time,you hope it comes sooner rather than later.Stay Strong for a bit longer.
Helen x

Liz, missed your post. well done, that is the article I saw, I remember the bit about the doctors waiting room, have to admit it made me chuckle a bit. Thanks.

Ann
Glos

Mum deteriorating rapidly. Won't take nourishment. Won't tolerate drip. I feel so helpless.

Thanks for keeping in touch with your additional threads. They are a comfort.

Pat - no offence taken. Whenever I see your name it brings back memories of day trips to Blackpool from Hapton by train and stopping at Kirkham & Wesham.
Love Hazel xx

Hello again LW,
No offence but I had to smile when I read what your Mum does with soft toys (Bless her)
My eldest sister was diagnosed with Alzheimers in November 2007, (she was one of the two sisters who moved in with Mum when she was dying)
It is so sad to see the strong person I have always known slowly disappear and we all try very hard to keep her spirits up, its a horrible disease that can steal a persons life away while leaving them still alive.
Take comfort in the small things.
Patx

Thanks for the latest comments. I do go along with her about whatever she says. Most of the time (prior to latest illness) she thought we were in our local Methodist chapel waiting for the service to start. She always asks if I have seen her mam & dad and have I helped her dad to deliver the post.

Cuddly toys annoy her and she uses them to 'batter' the staff.

Thanks again
LW

I meant to add this information a while back - I found it in a Take a Break Magazine before Christmas.

There is a book called Contented Dementia by Oliver James who is a psychologist - his mother in law helped develop a 'revolutionary method of care' and it sounds very good, it may be what Ann is thinking about, maybe you read the same article Ann.
there is a website called www. special. co.uk which might explain it more, I haven't looked at it .
O. James m.i.l.'s 'brilliant discovery' was that a care plan could be built round the person with dementia's past experience of professional and social roles or of enjoyable hobbies, enabling them to live a find of happy Groundhog Day. It seems to mean adapting their comments to things they remember, say a person gets stressed in a doctor's waiting room and says has their flight been called, as they were used to flying and travelling a lot. They became anxious saying they didn't want to miss the flight and where's the hand luggage. Rather than contradict them go along with it by saying luggage checked in, we just have handbags (or whatever was with them) so that they relaxed and accepted the situation as they saw it. Stops the anxiety and aggression in being challenged.

Hope I have explained a little from the article, I have had it scanned and printed out so I could forward it to someone, but don't think o.h. was able to do it so I could send by email - I will ask him when he gets home and see if he can try again.

The soft toy idea sounds good, maybe you could take something in for your Mum to care for and hold.

Lizx

Ann ---- when l found out about my friend with Alzeimers earlier this year, Sue from Sommerset was very helpful, l think she belongs to various groups etc so maybe it was her??

jude xx

I am trying to remember where I saw an excellent article by somebody about Alzeimers. It was by somebody whose parent (Mum or Dad( had had the disease and she had worked out a way to 'manage' it and ran a support group about it. All I can remember is that she said the simplest way to manage it was to 'go along' with whatever the sufferer said. No matter how strange to agree with them. That apparently takes the stress out of it for the carer and the sufferer. Wish I could remember more.

Your kind thoughts and pm's are really helping me and Mum would appreciate were she able. Your support is invaluable.

Thanks
LW

Poor you LW..................my Mum has Alzheimers and will go searching for her Mum, I tell her she is at the shops and will be back soon, that usually does the trick.

Sometimes I think the persistent need to go "home" and calling for Mum or Dad is a need to feel safe and comfortable again as we all did as children when we were afraid.

All I can offer is my support and positive thoughts that you Mum will soon feel more settled, you need to look after yourself t the moment too....................it is horrible to see the ones we love suffer and know there is little we can do to make them feel better.

xx

Hi LW.I do know how you feel.Have had the same situation with my mum .She died almost 4 years ago on Feb 14th.
She was in hospital ,terribly confused,aggresive to the nurses,refusing to eat and drink.She took a liking to someones soft toy that she could see so I went back to the home and took in "Snowy" her white teddy .Her face lit up when she saw it and kept it with her in the bed or if she sat out it was in the chair.She died the next day and Snowy was there.Snowy travelled in the Hearse with mum to the Crem,and he now is here with me!
I hope your mum can settle and be comfortable.It is so distressing and you feel useless.
Lots of TLCxxx

Hello LW
l am so sorry your mum is suffering this way, its such a cruel disease and to have a chest infection as well,most unpleasant for her. l do hope the chest infection soon clears up and hopefully she won't feel so agetated.

Take care.

jude xx

No change overall, still aggressive towards Staff.

LW

Sorry to hear about your Mum, I know how hard it is when you can't do anything to help. I have heard it suggested that something soft, like a teddy bear, to cuddle might help.
Best wishes
Pam

Thinking of your Mum and of you, such a terrible illness.

Ann
Glos

Thanks for good wishes. No change. Mum very aggesive towards nursing staff during the night. She whispered in my ear 'Fed up! Want to Go!' What else can I do but hug her (very gently - skin & bone).

Thanks Joan for pm.

LW