General Chat

My heart goes out to you ,Pat,trying to come to terms with the unexpected loss of your lovely daughter,I really can't comprehend the pain you would be feeling. Please don't feel guilty that she has gone,I'm sure that she would not want you to feel that way.I hope that you can continue to enjoy the company of your grandchildren,and remain close to your sons-in-law as the boys grow up.Please accept my deepest sympathy.

Margot .

So very sorry for your tragic loss.
My heart goes out to you and all your family.

Lin xxx

My heart goes out to you Pat. Can feel your pain in your writing. The support you need will always be here when ever you feel the need for it. Sending you a big (((((((hug))))))).
Hilary. xx

Pat, I am so sorry to read this, how heartbroken you must be and still in shock too, no doubt, so please if you haven't already, see your doctor and get any help he suggests, also talk to us whenever you feel like opening up, I am usually around at night if you find you can't sleep and want some company by pm or on here. Don't try to put on a brave face with Wendy's sons, they need to know it is ok to cry but also to laugh, tell them funny little anecdotes about their Mummy when she was small etc, so they have lots more memories and things to think about. I love the idea of a scrapbook or memory box for them too, it will help lots. There are places you can contact for help with bereavement so why not ask the Samaritans, they are sure to know where you can go or contact, and also talk to them if you feel the need too.
In Norfolk there is something called Nelson's Journey, which helps bereaved children - have a look at the site, as the people who started this did so because of two little girls whose Mummy died in a similar way to Wendy. There are sure to be many other similar set ups across the country, and you might find one that the children can go to later on and get help to accept what has happened. They will be your mainstay in going on in future, without your lovely daughter beside you but always in your heart and mind. Such an unfair thing to cope with but life is unfair, we see so all the time, when good people are taken and evil ones sail through life.
I know the pain you are feeling and it will take a long time to become even bearable but believe me it does, you learn to live alongside it. I know because I lost my daughter nearly 35 years ago, only 3 days old so no memories to sustain me, but altho she is always in my heart and soul, the grief eases a little as time passes altho you will never ever forget.
Today is the anniversary of my friend taking his life, at the age of 51 - I sent his Mum a card as I always do and she will phone me tomorrow and we will talk about him, she is well over 80 now but has coped even tho she already had the sadness of another son killed in a car accident when he was just 18, she only has one son left out of the three, and a daughter who is estranged from her, but she gets by day by day because it is what we have to do.
I will nudge up the Remember Me thread as there are some beautiful verses on there that will bring tears, I hope they will be healing tears and you might find a little comfort in some of the words.
My thoughts will be with you, and all the people your daughter touched, including her husband and ex husband and the children and her siblings, relatives and friends. You raised a wonderful person, so be proud and thankful you had her for those years, so she could raise her sons and live on in them.

Lizx

Such a tragedy and hard to cope with especially so suddenly with no warning, Those poor boys and especially the little one - he has lost his mum and separated from his big brothers. Thoughtst and prayers go to all of you and may you have the strength to support your g.sons.

My thoughts are with you Pat, please accept my deepest sympathy

Tina x

My deepest sympathy to you and those boys. Also to Wendy's husband.
I wish I could say something to make it a little easier, but, of course no one can at the moment.
Please post as often as you need. There are many people on here who want to listen and help however they can.
x

So sorry to hear this Wendy, but keep writing, I'm sure it must help just to 'let it all out'. I'll be thinking of you and your grandsons...though they've lost their Mum they are very lucky they've still got you.
x

Pat, You have been very brave to express your inner emotions on these boards, I would like to offer you and your family my deepest sympathy at this sad time for you all, And as many of the members have said there are alway's people on here who will listen and offer comfort when needed.
Thoughts and prayers for Wendy God bless you all.
Dave.

Pat,

Your pain is felt by so many. No words can ease or take away that pain, but take heart from the many messages of sympathy.

Wendy will stay with you in your heart and in those grandchildren. Your love will enfold them and keep the memory of their mother in their minds.

Until we lose a child, the heartache can only be imagined.

My thoughts are with you all.

Elisabeth
x

Pat,

I remember the pain you are feeling, and the shock of sudden death without warning only compounds the grief you are feeling right now. I lost my eldest son 17 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't still long to have him back. All I can say is that the first few months are the most unbearable, so just hang on. You can survive this, although you may not believe it right now! The pain will subside, but the sorrow of losing a child lasts a lifetime.

You will eventually be able to laugh and live again, (although it is impossible just now) but it does take time and your loss will change you forever. Your precious daughter knew how much you loved her and has taken your love with her. Meanwhile you may need help from your doctor to sleep at night and if you have a sympathetic friend you can go and talk to and cry with, it will help on the worst days. You cannot do it alone.

It will eventually get easier to bear, I can promise you that, if you just hold on. There are many kind and caring people on this site who will help you to cope in this terrible tragedy, so please keep coming back here.You are in my thoughts,

May God give you strength,
Kathy x

Hi Pat,

I'm so sad to hear your news, my heart goes out to you and your family, may all your memories of Wendy be treasured.

Amanda x

Oh Patricia I am so sorry for your loss my thoughts are with you
Rachxxxx

Pat.

I am so sorry to hear your sad news. No words left I can say, as they have already been said.
But my thoughts are with you.
Love to you and your family.
Pat xx

My heart goes out to you, i can only imagine the pain you are feeling at loosing your lovely daughter.
there are no words of comfort at this present time i know. You have three lovely grandchildren that are part of your daughter i hope they bring you some kind of comfort at this very sad time.

my thoughts are with you.

Shirley Ann.

Oh Pat,cant even imagine the pain your feeling to lose a child,my thoughts are with you and your family,god bless you all, Gill x

Pat, please don't feel guilty or that you shouldn't have posted. you will always get support on this board and I hope the response has helped you. I am so sorry for your loss, there can be nothing worse than the loss of a child, it goes against the natural order of things. as a Mother I can only imagine what you are going through, daughters are very special, well sons are too of course but Mums can get very close to their daughters as you obviously were. i hope the memories you have of Wendy will give you comfort and I am sure her sons will too.

That was a very good idea by whoever suggested that you make family history memories of Wendy for her sons. you can keep her memory alive for them.

Please feel that you can come on here and rant and/or cry at any time, we will cry with you.

((((hugs))))
Ann
Glos

I can truly understand how devestated you feel, the grief you'r feeling is because we love them so much. try and take care of yourself although I know at the moment you feel that nothing is important. x

So sorry to hear your sad news Pat. As a mum my heart goes out to you, I was devastated when I lost my first grandchild. We all deal with bereavement in different ways and I hope this post is a comfort to you (((((((hugs)))))))

Chris x

Please accept my sincere sympathies Pat.
I've sent up my prayers for all concerned.xx