General Chat

My first reaction was to think that whoever is in charge of the land may have something to say, if the decorations are thought to be too over the top.......there are restrictions for the churchyard where my parents lay.....

I can understand your distress Taff.......but I know my Grandson wanted to put a coloured windmill on my parents plot.....he was born 4 months after Mum died, but he and my Dad were such good pals, that we let him go ahead......and would deal with any problem if it arose.... sometimes time and wind takes care of any loose decorations......if you get my drift....

.....and Blue Moon's idea of a special place in his own garden to place his decorations is so sensible, and would be a splendid compromise......

xxxxx's Taff....

BM, my thoughts exactly, if "they" want some type of memorial to my daughter, put it in their own back yard!! as my parents are also buried in the plot, poeple who they never Knew!!

Sue, I am doing my very best to keep mine at the moment!!

Also, my daughter has another son(2years), so what if in time he wanted to add his little bit as well, where would it end??

Sorry Taff, its so unforgivable of them, i admire you to for standing back, couldn't have done it myself would have removed the lot and returned them, then i would have said ask first and let them know your grandson and you will sort out what he wants, after all its your parents grave, not for getting its your daughters to,you own the plot and have the last say.

they have not shown any respect for you at all, they certainly do not deserve any from you, the other grandmother should have had more compassion for you .


xxx Joan G

Angel song, and all of you that have taken the time and bother to reply, many thanks, i now feel, I am not over reacting and will take the stuff away!!

Could it be possible that in converstaion with his cousin your grandson has asked if he can take things to his mum and told her what he would like to do as regards to the toys etc,it might be worthwhile having a word yourself with your grandson and see who's idea it all was as it would be terrible to upset him if this is what he had asked for.I'm sure little ones don't see things as we do.

Having said that I do think the cousin should have spoken to you first and then you could have done something together with your grandson,find out what the position is with regards to the Cemetery rules and then maybe you could explain to him it isn't allowed if that is the case.Maybe you could involve him in choosing the headstone for his mum.

Daisy

hi taff,
feel so sorry for you cos i am sure you are still grieving the sad loss of your daughter,with it not being that long ago since she was taken from you.you must speak how you are feeling to this cousin (people at this age can be so inconsiderate)

gather your two young granchildren together ,take them along with you to the cemetery,and talk together abt the things that you could all change.

wishing you all the very best ,

gwen xx

A message from a banned member is
What i told you is right

Good Luck Taff

Barrie

This cousin, I met for 1/2 hour 5 years ago! i wouldnt even recognise her now, nor do I know where she lives, but I really dont feel as if i could have a polite chat with her!!
I really dont think a 6 year old would have come up with idea of fencing and gravel? do you? no disrespect intended.

Taff

I can totally understand your despair at not being consulted.

I arrived at Daddy's grave one day to find plastic flowers on it.... now I know others wouldn't find this distasteful but Daddy and I loved real flowers/plants and he has a real garden there, why not add a plant rather than stick some plastics in it???

I binned them immediately cos its my plot and as I am the only person that visits it regularly I didn't want to see them there!

I hope you sort it soon.

xx

I remember you telling me about that one Pinks, and how upset you were......x

Pink, if it was just plastic flowers I wouldnt say so much,as they could have been replacedwith real ones, but i found a pink(sorry no pun intended) plastic lantern with a tea candle in it amongst all the other "bits and Bobs"""
Add
apart from all that what about the picture of my daughter and her sons hanging around the cross, the cross has her D.O.B. and D.O D ,great for fraud!!!

Sally you're right - I was upset for days!!

xx

Oh Taff - I'd have been mortified!!!!!! And no matter what colour it was it would have hit the bin!!

xx

So my anger is justifyable then?

If your grandson has had any input or choosen something wont he be somewhat upset when he visits again?

That's a good point Kay...............he is 6 and might just have helped put it all together for his Mum.

Tread carefully before you act, just in case it was his idea..............good luck with your decision.

Lets be honest here.... why would a BOY chose Pink? Its so obviously the cousin who thought that gem up!!

And yes you have every right to be angry!!!

Kay, if the Groundkeepers take it all away, what can i say? I did explain that to the other Gran yesterday, also it would have to be taken away when I put the headstone there!!