General Chat

Hi Pablo, I agree this is probably the problem with this country at the moment but I think what the other peeps are trying to say is how can you tell the difference between a 'normal' child and a child with learning difficulties when they are seen misbehaving and that people like you should not be so quick to judge unless you know the facts:). I would like to point out that I am not a smacker, well hardly ever, I can count on one hand the number of times and my older children are polite and kind, always have been to others not always to each other though. lol. xx

paul yes i do concede that there are some parents out there with a very relaxed atitude to parenting that causes a lot of problems and these need dealing with. my argument is that without all the facts which you can't get on one encounter none of us should judge the other

Thats OK tory.

Shirley,
That is what I am talking about I understand that a lot of children have problems such as autism and other problems and I applaud the parents of these children who have to try and cope with thier children I have a lot or respect for you and your families, it can not be easy.
Relaxed & Liberal parenting where "healthy" children get away with everything and anything is one of the main problems in this country at the moment.

Paul:-(((

Dont delete ....I have no guilt over what he did .....yes he is special needs .....

exactly Kemp, how .xx Edited as I posted it twice sorry it was me that deleted

I totally agree with you ....
BUT I "controlled" my son in a shop for peeing all over the carpets in a shop !!! he was 9.....and got reported to the police and aressted for
Neglect and abuse of a minor in my care 1951 act .....

I grabbed him by the shoulders and marched him out the shop ...put him in the car and locked it going back to tell the manager what had happened .........

It went to court and was thrown out ....the judge said all evidence had been lost !!!!!!!

so as you say controll them .......BUT DO TELL ME HOW ?

If you were to see my 5 year old in the shops you would see a normal looking boy who can talk, walk and act quite normally but you also might see him screaming, kicking and spitting because he is autistic and sometimes we never know when this is going to happen. His older sibs if they are there try to quieten him by calling his name and telling him to be quiet sometimes even chasing after him because they feel embarrassed. So that leaves me trying to quieten him and trying to speak over the top of his sibs voices to tell them to leave it to me. We always try and leave him at home as its too much hassle but then again somedays he is a little angel. Since he was known to be autistic we have all become more tolerant of other children's misbehaviour as these kids don't have a sticker on their foreheads with the word 'autistic' printed on it. Even so Pablo I understand what you are on about as I have seen some kiddies behaviour go unchecked where I knew there was no underlying problem except very relaxed parenting. shirley.x

thank you for the honesty and the apology pablo it is most apreciated :-))

I agree with you all....

But also....if we DID give our children a good hiding there n then Pablo, in some people's eyes we'd be abusing the children. Honestly, being a parent n doing right in all eyes is a never ending battle n one that we can't win.

:o)

My electric fence keeps
my kids under control!

xxx mick

no it isn't the ideal way to behave but rather that then see a parent repeatedly smacking a child as i have seen in the passed .i would rather a parent walked away to calm down and collect there thoughts to deal with the situation and while the other children should not have been left to deal with it at least it ment the child was safe

Hello people,
Thanks to all that have replied to this thread. All of your opinions have been noted by myself, and I consider myself to be suitably chastised and taken down a peg or two.

As a number of you have said I do not know the individual circumstances of the poor mother and should not have jumped to conclusions about her and her abilities as a mother.

Not having had any children myself I do not know what it is like having to try and raise them properly.

I am sorry if I have offended anybody in this thread that was not the reason I put it on here.

No one is taught to be a Mum
We all do our best
Who are we to say that woman is wrong
Have a 2 year old grandson who think the word
No
is the signal for throwing a tantrum
Jenxx

My nephew is severely autistic and I've taught children with autism so I know how difficult they can be but I do think the mother should have taken control of the situation and not ignored the child's behaviour left it to the other children to deal with.

We can't all be perfect parents and it's easy to criticise, I know, but the other children should not have had to take responsibility, they are children, too.

To walk out of the shop and leave them, in my view, is not the way to handle the situation.

Gwynne

Yes I agree Ann there are parents who don't act in what some of us discribe as the right way but then there are so many reasons why and who's to say that the mum wasn't at the end of her tether and maybe walking away and leaveing the teens there gave her the space needed to then deal with the situation ,My argument is that people jump to conclusions without the facts .

.....one thing I would ask......was what the child wanted sweets by any chance.....only I thought that supermarkets had stopped the practice of having sweets at checkouts ........

I think you should read your own thread a know a little about what your saying and to be honest people like you Pablo get up my nose

I wondered that Tory but I would hope that Mum would not have left the shop in that case. However, maybe the teenagers were able to control little one better than Mum. I suppose we will never know. badly behaved children in shops are a problem but I am aware of children with problems like autism so do try not to judge. Sometimes though the child is just not controlled properly, so many Mothers these days scream at their children when they want them to do something, is it any wonder that they scream back?

Ann
Glos

Sue,
OK re they shouldnt have children but at least if you have them at least try to control them.

I know that government legislation gives all the rights etc to the child. But, when we were kids we were given discipline and had respect for our elders.
Thse days the younger generation gets away with "murder" because adults such as parents, teachers etc are not allowed to or are afraid to discipline them incase they end up in court accused of abuse.

If you put up a controversial thread you must expect people to disagree with you as well as agree. You have only thanked Carol who agreed. Tory you are right, there may be a reason why a child appears to be misbehaving.
Sue