General Chat

Each of our two only ever had one tantrum whilst out shopping. They got a sharp slap on the leg and never tried it again.

That was in the eighties, but then you can't do that these days.

lol Sally..... she has just about grown out of them now..... she is just three, but has learnt the pout, lol!!

Her almost two year old cousin is like a little steam train... into everything, and continually needing diverting, lol.... but fortunately her attention span is about 10 seconds and she is soooooo easy to re-direct, lol!!

I used to work at a school for young children with mild learning disability.... and extremely challenging behaviours... always said my experience working in the sgt's mess on mess meeting nights gave me the skills needed, lol!! (There are always a couple who want to throw a wobbly. as with any pub/club, lol)

Love

Daff xxx

I have a few comments to make.

My daughter has learning difficulties and suffers from a form of hyperactivity after eating certain foods, its easy for me to control what she eats when she is at home but when she goes to her dads or friends houses she sometimes is given something new and that causes one of her episodes. While I do have to discipline her children like these need to be calmed first as the lesson you are trying to teach them do not sink in when upset.

There are many reasons why the child could of been acting up but at least the mum didnt give in to the child and let him/her have the sweets.

Another thing your comment "let us decent folk get on with our lives" just because this ladies child was playing up as all children do from time to time does not mean they are not also decent.

lol Daff......you and me both with the terrible twos......my 2 y.o. granddaughter is the middle one, and is a little devil........blonde blue eyed and butter wouldn't melt type.......I picked her elder sister up from school, and the 2 y.o. screamed blue murder because the older one got in first........so I put her in her seat and screamed just as loud, and laughed at her.......she was so surprised she stopped, and laughed at me.......no-one around thank goodness...

....and at my daughter's wedding she was one of the bridesmaids........looked beautiful but decided she would rather blow the biggest hissy fit in town and buried her head in the carpet.......but a quiet word from Grandma and she did as she was told........she now things I am great....! but I would not recommend trying it with an audience.....

It's all part of growing up isn't it...learning how to control your feelings?

I dont think theres one parent out there that hasn't been through it at some point and if we dared to give them a clip in public we'd get pounced on from a great hight.....can't win really

I think most of us with children and grandchildren have been in a situation where we have been required to deal with a screaming child... and much to the annoyance or dismay of onlookers... we never seem to get it right!!

My two year old was screaming in a Military Post office once, when I was trying to post parcels home for Christmas... he was tired and it was cold and he was teething, and he had just about had enough... we had needed to catch the military bus for the long journey from our area, a long wait to catch it back again.

The chap in charge threw us out of the post office. My husband complained when he got back from Northern Ireland, the chap got extras as a result.... but that isn't the best bit.

5 years later, we were on a beach in Cyprus... and there was this same bloke having to deal with his screaming two year old...... my response was to walk over, divert toddler's attention (I am very good with screaming children, usually lol) and then calmly said.... so much better than demanding you be thrown off the (private) beach, don't you think??

Lovely!!

Last year, my two year old granddaughter had a huge tantrum in a garden centre...... she was in the middle of the carpark.... and it was dangerous for her to stay there.... so I picked her up and carried her to safety, put her back down and let her carry on until she had run out of steam..... but.... and this is a huge but.... I was asked if the child was mine... and spoken to like a criminal... cos it was about five days after little Maddie had gone missing... there were people actually ready to phone the police cos they thought I was abducting her!! Whilst I applaud their vigilence.... made me feel like a criminal, lol!! Seems you can't win.

Paul, might I suggest you read a very good book called Toddler taming... it's principles apply to dealing with all sorts of ages who throw tantrums in public, and how best to deal with it as an onlooker and a participant.

Love

Daff xxx

I sympathise a bit with pablo - How many of us have been in a similar position possibly under differenct circumstances and without giving it much thought, except "I wish she would keep those little brats under control, they're giving me a headache"... And that's just my OH and me, with our own kids... lol John

I answered your post going by the behaviour of the people you were describing. I cannot judge unless I was there, and even so would not like to assume the worst of the parent unless I had full knowledge of the circumstances.

A thought also crossed my mind that perhaps she wasn't the Mother or they were not siblings. How would we know?

I can understand your annoyance but please don't be so quick to judge and spare a thought for those who are judged and have to deal with the consequences.

Susan
:-)

HI Paul
kids are kids and most toddlers grow out of tantums and turn into polite well behaved
children
ps not all but most
Jenxx

Ill is not the word I would use but yes please do not be so quick to judge :-)))))

So I have to take into account that when some child who is misbehaving and causing mayhem all around them he or she may be ill and not just attention seeking

Paul I supose because so many people are afected by it and because the behavior of those with the condition is called into question all day everyday .Those that have it do not look any differant then others and so as parents of these children we come accross people that scowl and moan about how our children behave in public without knowing us .I really do have to go now so thanks for the debate :-))

Pablo,

Probably because we are trying to explain that not all may be as it seems when judging children's behaviour.

Susan
:-)

Thats all I ask for Ruth is an open mind :-))
I'm sorry I have to go now but thank you all for the debate .:-))

This thread started off as a rant against badly behaved children and its turned into a discussion about autism Why??

I used to think people like that should control their children better until I did a course for some volunteer work I was about to do. Maybe the child had problems etc Hard to tell I know, but I can also see where you were coming from.

I'm afraid my opnion of schools is not very good MH to be honest, as the ones I have dealt with and the problems that I have helped other people deal with from differant areas are that schools in general fail our children misriably and so if you say that the child you refir to is doing well and that you liase with parents and they are happy with what you are doing then thats fine.I just ask people to keep an open mind thats all :-))

I appreciate what your saying Tory

Autism is a wide spectrum and of course every child should be treated on their own merit.

I'm sorry if my post appears to say different to you. I'm just talking of my own experiences, they dont have to be right for everyone.

Id also like to add the child who is in my class has come along leaps and bounds in the year he has been in school. The school has helped him cope with school life quite a bit (he gets one to one a lot as well)

As you say, everyone is different & its working for him, but it doesnt mean it will work for others

same as in all things in life really.:o))

working in a shop I see all sorts of behaviour from all sorts of kids. Some are really polite and want to have a conversation with you about things like Thomas the tank engine etc..lol
But some are just so naughty. Yes some children do have problems but the ones that are most annoying are the ones that are misbehaving whilst their mothers are too busy arranging their social life on their mobiles.....
I have 3 children and 3 grand children and only once did mine ever misbehave whilst shopping. We had a new sainsbury open near us so thought we would try it out. My eldest one couldnt get her way and threw herself on the floor. Think I just grabbed her and dragged her out of the shop as I dont put up with that. I wonder if it was because it was a new shop and she didnt like the strange surroundings.

MH I do understand what your saying but not all with Autisum are able to cope with the things you say and they don't have to be servirly afected either .My strain to comply with the wishes of the school and public left me with a child who wanted to end it all and another who I have had to remove from school so as a parent who loves my children I will not insist that my children do things that cause them distress they comply at there own choice and thats how we live and if that is only way I can keep my daughter alive and happy I will do so .Please remember that all people are individuales and do not repond in the same way to the same tactics :-)