General Chat

Kerry bless your heart, been so worried about Marilyn all on her own, not well, stressed out by helplessness of awful situation.

Thanks hun - knew there were diamonds out there!

(((((hug)))) xxx

hi ss glad things have been sorted out this must a great wait lifted from your shoulders now hope all continues to go well for you and your family all take care kind regards kerry

hi marilyn i dont know about your end but in leicester most nursing homes take people who have been sectioned also if you ring social or council they can advise where the places are near you there are some special homes aswell thats what my auntie did when she needed somewhere for my uncle to go when he was sectioned and could not stay in mental unit i hope all goes well feel free to pm me anytime if you need advice or someone to listen take care kind regards kerry

Hi everyone,

IT'S SORTED! Bro's Case Mngr said I sounded like professional lol, called emergency meeting today, my bro is:

No longer DANGEROUS! (Never was)
Can eat with everyone in dining room

Spoke to him lunchtime, lol he's so happy! Says to thnk u all!

Here's copy of email I sent, with names deleted:


WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Wednesday 14 May 2008
For the Attention of:..... , Home Manager,....Nursing Home

With reference your email to Mrs ........., today's date, please note that at no time was it stated that he was in solitary confinement; the term 'equivalent of' was used; he is no longer allowed to dine with others in the dining room, yet has to eat unaccompanied in his room without even the company of his Carer.

We understand that today my brother arrived for breakfast to be ordered back to his room where he was supposed to eat scrambled egg with a plastic fork; hard enough surely for able bodied persons. Unable to do so, his Carer was given the sum of £5.00, told to take him to the shop to purchase him something to eat. We are appalled that for breakfast he ate something called a Pucca Pie.

We are deeply in shock at the moment. Our brother is on your webpage, has been seen by so many in our family, together with friends and more. Having been treated appallingly elsewhere at various times we felt able to at last relax; a specialist Head Injury Unit, he would be safe. Questions being raised are as under:

Where was his Carer?
Where was the Carer of the man who rained blows down on our brother's head, injured him to such an extent that he suffered a black eye which is purple-brown in colour?
Why were they not removed from each other's presence immediately the 'tell-tale signs' were evident that something was quite clearly wrong.
Our brother has a head injury, why was someone allowed to attack him in such a vicious manner?
Why did he have a knife? He has the use of only one hand. When out to dinner with him there is no knife, only a fork or spoon as is necessary. His meals have to be cut up for him.
If someone attacks you, your first instinct is self-protection. .....raised his hand above his head to protect a catastrophic head injury; this is the reaction of anyone who is being assaulted.
Why did his Carer, the unit not protect him?
If our brother is deemed dangerous, we would like an explanation as to why he is on your webpage, indeed, was he accepted into your Care?
Again, if 'dangerous', why did he have a knife.
We are absolutely appalled at the unprofessional behaviour shown towards ....; The .... appointed his wife, Mrs ..., to be his legal Guardian - it is transparently evident that in the first instance she should have been asked to attend if questions were to have been asked of him.
Our brother, Mr ...., was placed in the care of one of PJ Care's Head Injury Units, why was he not kept safe?
Why is the other individual allowed freedom when our brother's rights have been withdrawn?
There are many more unanswered questions. The word negligence springs to mind. Working in this particular field, so disappointed. We would be most interested to see a copy of your Policy regarding safety of patients.

We place our loved ones in the care of others when our hearts are breaking. We do not expect them at any point to be placed in danger.

Q: Why would charges be brought against a victim who bears a black-eye the colour of which clearly indicates it was not self-inflicted. Having known him all our lives, having been present when he awoke from his coma at The National Neurological Hospital, Russell Square London, having walked this walk with him, there has never for an instant been any indication that he was violent or agressive. He is a man at peace, a ....... who has never and does not condone violence.

Q: Why has he been found judged, tried and found guilty before the investigation has been concluded?

Q: Why would Carers' volunteer to attend family gatherings with Mr ......if he is so dangerous; why would you let him, grandchildren of very tender ages are present.

The questions are endless.

Yours sincerely


Family of Mr .......................
cc: Mrs ...- Legal Guardian of Mr ......
Mrs ...- Case Manager

Hi Doc, we've got similar here too hun. Years ago closed most units, people who needed help found themselves out on streets; lucky few were helped.

Marilyn, I'm sure it doesn't matter what type of institution it is, they all have to follow guidelines/policies, answer to authorities or similar.

Schools (I work in one) have masses of policies, hospital anywhere - is there anyone who knows, can help advise Marilyn please. Thank huns.

mum is not in a care home shes in the mental health trust assessment unit
shes been there since beging of feb they said she was too much for me on my own
now that she has been sectioned it limits the care homes that will take her so l dont know where she will end up probably margate but it costs £5 each way to visit in a taxi
l cant do busses due to panic attacks
will just wait and see l must go in to see her today lurgy or no lurgy l caught it in there anyway l wont forget to take toilet paper or hand spray though!! thanks every one for your kind words marilyn

hi ss im here if you ever need any help or you need someone to listen just pm me i have seen alot of things in the 15 years of working in caring ive always reported things to pova social services and other places when ive felt things werent right and ive got people sacked through neglect it upsets me that there are people that could do this they should not be in that job my thoughts and prayers your way hope things get sorted and get better take care kind regards kerry

we have a similar issue here on Oz, but more to the opposite end of the stick, the elderly are being cared for somewhat better today because of reporting,
BUT, it is the facilities for the younger of those with such medical conditions that no longer excist, it seems the property value of the facilities was so great they were sold off and the patients were then sent home to be cared for by the families, problem being the families did not and still do not have the ability to care for in the right manner, the criteria for the mentally challenged and disabled is rediculous, it also works on age, the carer gets a sort of assistance to help pay for particular items that are needed, but when the child turns 18 yrs the assistance is cut off, if the person in question can focus on a moving object but the body is is in spazams they do do qualify. the young are placed in aged care facilities where staff are not train for them.

Marilyn hun

You're not on your own anymore - you can share this thread, anyone can who needs too, lol. so many of us in need.

pmd you hun - msgs of support for you here. I'm really private, all my life have had to 'cope' by myself,everyone comes to me but hun, not any more. Here I feel part of big family, we're all here for you too. x (((hugs)))

Couldn't agree more .....every incident needs to be reported , this type of behaviour towards our loved ones is unacceptable (((((hugs)))))) to everyone xx

I'll second that ss.....doc is wise do as he say's

report, report, report.

Morning Doc

Docs wise hun. You so right, Marilyn - everyone, always report, report, report. Docs wise hun

How you Doc?

Morning, I suggest that the facility be reported in the most pressured way, each time there is an incident.
report report report.

Oh Marilyn, hun - c'mere, have a huge hug. Sweetie, my heart is breaking for you and your mum.

There are some wonderful homes out there, but again, there are those that are not. You're not well, your mum's being neglected, what you've told me sounds like Victorian times - oh my word, it's cruelty.
How can your mum manage without her Zimmer, why doesn't she have a 1:1 Carer? Feel sickened to pit of stomach re toilet scenario, just absolutely horrifyingly appalling.

Between us all, we can help you, I just know it. You're not at all well, worried sick - so pleased you spoke to me hun. Learnt big lesson last few days, the saying 'a problem shared is a problem halved' is true, none of us are on our own anymore.

The support, advice, help, love I've received has been overwhelming - to all those of you who sent pms - thnk you, if I haven't come replied yet, pls forgive me, been taking advice on board, passing it to other family members, 'firing off' emails, etc. You have proved what I've always known, that the majority of Carers/Nurses are 'called' to their vocation, they care deeply and are as horrified as us that the minority can spoil what was and is such a special vocation. We could not for one instant manage or cope without you and to you all, I say a huge thank you for everybody.

Marilyl hun, Mo, Kerry, Kitty, Lyndi amongst other all say go to Pova, Protection of Vulnerable Adults. You have the right to do so, everyone does. They won't know it was you that put in complaint. So much help here hun, so much support. Go do it once you're up to it - no-one and I repeat no-one deserves to be treated like this. Everyone deserves dignity, caring, love, compassion.

To Carers/Nurses I say thank you again - your job is not easy, I know. ((((hugs for each and everyone of you.))))

Marilyn, Joan, everyone in my boat, ((((hugs)))) too.

Read this page Marilyn, all the info you need is here.
Do hope you get well soon. If you need help writing a letter, more than happy to help - anyone who needs help writing letters, someone to proof-read it, pls ask, I'm here for you as are all the other wonderful people here.

Take care ((((hugs)))) gobsmacked, dreadful Marilyn, dreadful. xxx

my mum is in local mental health unit for the elderly she has demensia they took away her zimmer frame they said she was using it as a weapon she continued to try to walk around the place fell over and broke her arm shes nearly blind very deaf calls for me all day long l am power less they say she has got to go into a home but there arent any near me that will take her shes 89 because they have sectioned her she has got so much worse in there they dont cut up her food for her she can hardly see the plate there is no toilet paper in the toilets some one kept blocking them up so now you have to get paper from the office befor you want to go it goes from bad to worse in there ldread going but feel l must just to keep an eye on her now going every other day because of the cost of taxis l have got the flu at the moment have not been since sunday am worried sick l sent bananas chocs cake and friut juices by taxi today phoned and told them to make sure that she eats some but l wonder if they will l must go in tomorrow no matter how bad l feel

what am i gonna do with you????

gonna give you the biggest hug ever

you've been there for me, its my turn now.....lurvs ya

Just realized what I'd written earlier - was replying to Doc who was asking if I was there. Huge email was to Manager of Care Home; pm was to say hi to Doc as had missed him.

Lol, what you gonna do with me?! Zany!

xxx

I'm not a quiet person, zany is my character - love people but this is absolutely mind blowing.

It's so hard to take in, accept that you all truly care. Gosh, keep getting emotional cause you're all so wonderful. Look at Julie, she has Billy and yet comes on to support me. Blown away.

Good news, specialist team in, demanding all info, on warpath - have known my bro almost since beginning.
Dont want to tempt fate, (crosses fingers), but they have to be listened to.

If I can ever be there for you, please, please, please pm me, please.

From the bottom of my heart

xxx

You have been so kind to me and now I read this.... Your an amazing lady x Shocked is an understatement...... Thank you is not enough x Take care x

OMG how awful sending hugs to you just read it you have a lot of friends on here be open if you want to LINDA