General Chat

Not strange. You have to look at that little girl and tell her that she did nothing wrong and that she was pretty (cos all little girls are) and smart and good and not to take any notice of that awful woman who didn't know the real you because she was so caught up with herself.
Lynn, I didn't mean to minimise the damage that is continued through to adulthood, it's just that when you live in a house as a child there is never hope of escape. At least as an adult, as you say, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Sue xxx

Strangely enough,I feel teary for that little girl too.Not for me but some other little girl who was me.It wouldn't be me because I was always accused of being full of self-pity and,of course,she didn't now what I thought I had to grizzle about.

not just as children Sue,
untill we have the strength to break away, and understand that it was and is not our fault, then we still suffer, at their hands and venom

but there is always light at the end of the tunnel, as i have learnt

xxLynnxx

I remember telling my FIL off because his evil wife told me he had pushed her away from him when she wanted a cuddle. The look on his face made me want to cry. Later he told me that he had pushed himself away from her because she had barricaded him against a cupboard and told him how useless and stupid he was because he couldn't walk down to the shops to buy her something. He was 82 and had just had a knee replacement op. 6 weeks before. I believed him and told him so and he hugged me and cried like a baby.
Sue x

I actually feel teary for the little girls you were. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this as children. Kiddies are so powerless.
Sue xxx

Innit good to get it all out though!!
I showed the article to a good friend who lived two doors away from me for most of my life and he had no idea of how my life had been.
No doubt FIL could find no way of letting you know how things were.Of course,he would also have to admit to making such a terrible choice.
I always wondered why nobody would listen to me but,now that I am all growed up I wonder what I would do if a child were to confide in me that they were being psychologically abused.In fact I have seen it happen and not known what to do.

They never admit they have been anything other than a perfect parent im afraid,
I have tackled my mother on several occasons only to hear, " how dare you " you had a wonderful upbringing i was a good mother,
It will always be my fault, because to her, i am a dreadful evil woman,
But i know, like lots do, that i am not,

xxLynnxx

Do these dreadful people ever have a clear moment when they realize the damage they are doing or do they always think they're in the right?
Sue

Dear Linsey and Sharon
I have been reading your posts
Please dont think no one is interested in this thread
it is so sad,
not experienced it myself so would'nt know what to say
I am glad you have found other peeps to talk to
I am sure that will help in some way
Love and ((((hugs )))) to you all
JENxxxx

I'm speechless. It all sounds really awful. I don't know how any of you have stayed in one piece. Well done to any 'Mommy Dearest' survivors.

and you know how i feel Sharon, i have lived and still am living the life

Just finding it a little too hard and emotional to join in at the moment,

It is hard for those who have no idea of the horrors of this to comprehend,

hugs for you and all that have suffered at the hands of a parent

xxLynnxx

Sharron, I do recognize the personality - I wrote about my FIL's second wife on page 1 of this thread. Never had a name for it. The article was enlightening and even more so the things you and Lindsey have written. The witch had 3 daughters of her own. Two wouldn't have anything to do with her and the 3rd daughter was the golden girl. She disowned her two sons because they married "the wrong girls". The family loved it when she married my FIL. I believe he died to get away from her. Sounds funny but it wasn't. We walked up to the front door one day to hear her tell FIL that he was useless, weak and no good to her because he was sick. She almost accused him of getting cancer to spite her. When we knocked on the door she was all smiles. She hated the attention he got from his family and would make up illnesses to try for more attention. I'm sorry to say I hated her for bringing down a good man. To her neighbours she was a sweet old lady whose family let her down and treated her miserably.
Sue xx

Thank you SueMaid.Did you realize these dreadful people existed before this?Have you read the article?Can you understand why we find it so hard to put it into words?I posted initially because I was so delighted to have found it written into something cohesive.

I believe everything you are saying - just can't add anything that would help. I think you have done wonders to survive these dreadful people.
Sue

Well its doing me a power of good!!,
yes fat all right, food was love, and if you didnt eat it,it was served up for every meal until you did, or my face pushed in it.for being so ungrateful..
I have a strange relationship with food as a diabetic I have to eat, even when I'm not hungry, so its all much the same.
And I had to be in bed before Dad got home so she could tell him how bad I'd been first.

Had my tea.I know just what you mean about struggling to fit in.Always looking for the slight.I was fat too,and very good at school work,all the things to put you at a disadvantage.
I think maybe people are not joining in because they can't believe it.Well nobody has believed us yet have they?If you haven't lived it it must be hard to accept that it happens at all,after all you have never seen it happen and,if you have had a proper childhood it must be a very distressing thing to read about.

Since nobody else has joined this thread I wonder what their reaction is ? Not so much beatings or cruelty, but slow insidious undermining, eroding all sense of self worth . This made me the odd kid, not really fitting in and still struggling.to deal with it.

My cousin was vile to one of her children too.She was not so much younger than my mother who was born to a forty-eight year old couple.Because of something else I have found out I think my grandfather may have something to do with this.The family all fall out with each other and are fuelled by strange petty jealousies.Must be a family tradition.

Shall I order a large skip in anticipation! I can tell you there is a lifetimes collection of family photos with the faces cut out of people she disliked !!
My Gran was just as bad she had all her siblings drowned at sea or killed at war. Some kind soul sent me a photo of her 75 year old brother, and all his offspring ! So it goes back a long way.!

And don't forget,you'll be sorry when I'm gone.I can tell you that you will not.You have already done your mourning for what might and should have been!Mine left me a house full of tat from floor to ceiling that has,to date,taken me twelve years to sort through,and I'm still not grateful!