General Chat

nudge

I have only read a small amount of that and cudnt finish it cuz im in floods of tears right now.. Thank you so much for putting that up.. It so good to know that I am not the only one who had to deal with things like that and for some time I thought I was actually going mad and it was all in my head - as she is the perfect mother to my younger sister..
Anything and everything that I am interested in or get excited about is ripped to shreds.. I get put down so much that I feel I am not capable of anything.. Constantly told I am ugly and freak out if someone gives me a compliment or is nice to me as I think they have a hidden agenda..
I am 28 years old and still feel this way.. Its a battle but Im working on it. I do love my mum - its just the craving for the acceptance from her that gets to me more. We do get on a little better now I dont live at home cuz when she starts I can hang up the phone or go home..

Emma xx

Dorothy,that is very confusing for you.Secrets are horrible.I once told somebody who his father was.Well his mother had told me so I just assumed it was public enough for him to know too.Your mother evidently got most of it right though,good on her for that.
Sue,no,I'm not incredible,I only found the article.Whoever wrote it,now that's a different matter.

Sharon,

I have to say a huge thank you, as for me this is one of the most important threads I have ever seen on this message board. For me personally it has been an enormous help and has allowed me to understand more. I too have been on anti-depressants for years and realise now that there may be a valid reason for it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Lainey x

I always read the words in a card. They talk of love and things I never felt for my Mum! I choose a nice picture of flowers but no words, and just write something in it

Hi,

Talking of Mother's Day, that's always a tough one for me because I feel obliged to send a card but can never find one with the right words, far too gushy and some would seem so hypocritical.

Lainey x

hi what a day to find this thread it is mothers day over here in canada my mother has ben dead since 1999 but to-day I was thinking about her a lot. she was a very determined woman always right in her mind but loving at the same time, loving enough to bring a 9 day old baby from scotland in 1942 and make the baby her own to go to her grave not mentioning that she did not give birth to me, for 62 yrs I was hers in my mind somewhat of a shock when I found out I was not, my birth mother is also dead so on this day of days I can't help wondering if she ever regretted the decision she made all those years ago, for me in the long run it worked out. so many of you have such sad stories I hope that you are or have made better stories for your own children and that the hurt you all feel in time goes by. sometimes you can't change people and in the long run the loss is theirs regards dorothy barrie ont canada (via bury lancs)

You are an incredible woman, Sharron, and so are the rest of you for opening up and sharing your stories. Survive and do well - it's the best revenge of all.
Sue xxxx

I went to see my Mum and Dad yesterday. Now Dad is out of hospital I don't want to get back into the weekly routine of going every Sunday. I sat and listened to her go on about her, and not once did she ask about us. My friend has been ill for six weeks, I kept telling her on the 70 mile trips to see Dad in hospital. But did she ask how my friend was? No of course not! Did give me some money to buy a new mirror, thats how she shows her love a couple of times a year! I feel ungratefull writing this.
But thats because I'm conditioned to have material things as a replacement for sharing time and love

well at least Deb, you know that you are not on your own now ...

Good luck and ignore her(it hurts her )
Julie

Just stumbled across this thread and have read a few posts with much interest and deep compassion for some of you. I feel somewhat stressed that there are in fact others out there that have lived the type of life I have. Am not going to make any comments right now on the subject because I want to take the time to read the article as well as what else has been posted here. Will take some time as there are now 10 pages (wow).

Have to go out at the moment and spent the evening with my siblings and yes my Mum. Strange isn't it that this evening like most when with Mum, will be judged on how long it takes before I am insulted, oh and I will at some point be insulted. Wish me luck......


Deb

Sharron
I am grateful that you posted this as i now realize its not just me who had t deal with this
Thankyou
Julie

Here here!!
This thread wants nudging forever.
I will have a good night now ive had a rant
If i talk about her it reminds me why i dont want to talk to her.
There is good as reading between the lines of most of these messages there is the feeling that most of us are dam good mums and love our familys to bits
Julie

No point giving me a medal,I wouldn't be grateful!

dont be sorry Theresa,

i fully understand she hasnt handed it over because that way she still has a" hold "on you,
now it is all coming to light how many of us suffered at the hands of these selfish women,
i hope if any thing good at all comes out of it is that we are aware that our childrens need for love are paramount!

Theresa
get it off your chest .you'll feel loads better even if you write it down and burn it.
Sharron deserves a medal as big as a dustbin lid for the good she has done with this thread
Julie

Stella,

Will never for get the day one of my was really poorly and I phoned her, (I dont know why) she gave me a spiel about how sick and skinny my sister was and she was so depressed. My LO was in hospital and I was worried sick.. Same happened just after I had the youngest, mum ran up to tell me how bad things were at work for her and how skinny my sister was after getting...... She was on the phone for over half an hour and not once asked about the baby or the other kids.. Yet I still run round after her, she was burgled a while back and I managed to make it to her house before my sister did and my sis was only 20 miles down the road, I was here in Ireland.... If we ever argue now she tells me she has given me everything I have, she gave me some land 7 years ago and I built my house on it but she still hasnt signed it over to me but I am very ungrateful......................God I could go on.... Sorry

love Theresa

you go girl!! don't let the ******** get you down
WE ARE ALL EQUALS ON THIS PLANET
My dad usrd to say .... they may hold a higher possition and they may have more money strenth and power than me but no man is my superior.
How wise he was.
Stay stronge

Julie
P.s excuse the spelling on my 3rd glass of red wine
TUT TUT

Thank you Julie.
between her and a very controlling husband, i really did think that i was worthless for many years.... this thread has really opened my eyes and made me feel much better as a person.