General Chat

You grow up with it and that is what your life is. It was not until Sharron put this thread up and checked web sites out that I realised, at 56 years old, it never really was my problem, I was not a bad girl. I was good and until the day she died I loved my mum, just did not like her very much. The pain was too deep.

I do not and will not allow my Brother to take her place.

When I talked to my Son about it he said "why didnt you stop her" & the answers quite simple-we didn't know any different.Yes it's abuse,it's mental cruelty & I'll never get over it but I'm free now,I'm ME now.:)

If it was genetic-your stuck with it.
After what we've put up with (God rest her soul now)we are all the opposite.
I know what you mean though Gran.

Now I know what it is I can see it in families,mine and a family near me.

It seems to be far more common than we think so why have we never heard of it before? Seems like the secret abuse we must not allude to.

Loads-google it.

I would prefer to think it is genetic rather than learned. If is was learned, I did not learn this behaviour. I find it heart breaking. I could not willingly or unwillingly hurt anybody, least of all family.

Even when standing up to a narcissist I feel bad, but then that is how we are supposed to feel.

Is there any information on narcissism? Is it a behavioural pattern or a mental illness?
Sue x

From what I've read it seems to "run in the family"
-it's learned.

So,is it learned or is it genetic?

Okay we have narcissistic Mothers pretty well covered.

What about the narcissistic children they also leave behind??

I have a narcissistic brother who tries to make my life and that of my others siblings lives, hell. When you try to stand up to narcissists, you are always the one in the wrong.

Gail

There is an article in the Daily Mirror today about childhood obesity and whether it is abuse.Well I think mine was due to abuse so I have posted a comment in the Miriam Stoppard column online.

There is a Womans Hour programme on at the moment about mental illness.I have sent an e-mail about narcissism to them.

In case anybody wants it.

Make her bl**dy well wait for it!

Remind me to take her some poison ivy!

Oh Lindsey,please,not the enormous carcass jibe.So many of us have one because sweets and food were easier than affection.My enormous carcass was always another cause for more abuse from both of them,not good enough but then neither was I in any other way.

I wonder if the nurses were living your dream and letting her sit in it for a while because they were sick of me,me ,me.

My mother was forever in hospital and being the model patient.Unfortunately they always sent her home where it was constant head-ache,ear-ache, nose-ache,a*se-ache.These,of course ,were all down to me.

How lucky your mother has all these lovely neighbours and friends to rally round. I would say,yes,do go and see her but don't go yet. Let her wait, enjoy yourself a little.

Mine has just been in hospital, my cousin and I were sworn to stay away, no visiting no phone calls as the nurses would be far too busy running around after her.

She assured them that friends and neighbours would be at her beck and call post op.

Well that let us off , no 2 hour drive only to be sent back.

She had written to the surgeon who "did her knee" a few years ago by-passing the GP with a pathetic plea that she wanted her life back. Her hip was so painful she could barely shuffle to the biscuit barrel.
Having jumped the queue she was in hospital in under 6 weeks.and home in 5 days.

Within minutes of her return I recieved a hysterical call, ....DER

The Bed was too high, the mattress was too soft. The food arrived cold and the nurses were cold and unfeeling, she embarrassed herself and they took hours to see to her, then rolled her enormous carcass onto the emergency buzzer. Oh the humiliation.

AND I was never to let her go into hospital again.....but wild horses couldnt have stopped her.! Nothing I could have said would have worked !

At the end of the call she was shreiking , it was all my fault.and slammed the phone down !

All my fault indeed !

Your welcome :) I hope it helps your friend .

Thanks very much Amanda. Much appreciated.

nudge as someone is looking for this thread