General Chat

Did any of you go through life feeling you were different to everyone else? Not quite fitting in anywhere?

edit - I've just realised the irony in my choice of board name!
I actually chose it because of my love of small island nature reserves.

Island the first time I only half read the article, I was too busy being sick, literally. It did take some time for me to finally read it through then read again.

I do not so much think we are brave, but survivors, and we all seem to have strengths that even amaze me at times. So a positive out of a negative, a good result. Just a pity it took me so long to find out is was not ME.

Gail

Thank you Sharron, I'm sure you will understand why I feel that I've said the wrong thing.
I had read the article and have bruises on my chin due to the frequency of jaw dropping. By no means was all relevent to my situation but my goodness enough was spot on.

I'm off to say three Hail Marys.

Island,I know exactly what you mean.It is the continuing confusion that gets in your way I think.
This is why I tell everybody to read the article.It is very hard,like re-living,but by the cringe,you know where you are at afterwards.I can guarantee you will not finish it with dry eyes and a closed mouth but you will feel worthy again.
It will be good if all the things you have kept in all your life can be released,even if it makes you a big wet Nelly for a couple of days.The article does help you see what is right with you too and there is an awful lot right with you,honestly.

Sharron
Are you referring to my comment about being brave?
If so, then you have completely missed my point.
I DAREN'T join in on this thread, I've been there, only now am I trying to make sense of my life and finally freedom, felt guilt all my life and would still feel guilty opening up on here. This is by no means a critisism of anyone here, I just wish I could do the same.
That's why I think you are brave, maybe I used the wrong word?

don't have pity Sharron...

when i visited my mother as she was dying she gave my daughter (the one who is narcisstic )a real nast mouthful say what a dreadful grandaughter she had been and then she took my hand and her dying words to me were

"i'm sorry!"

That made things even worse..it told me trhat she had known what she was doing all along.. and i despised her even more.

Having resurrected this thread and found such a positive result on it I have been thinking quite a lot about it recently especially about the allegations of bravery.
Surely the strength and bravery were the things we were forced to show every day of our young lives.Now we are just confessing somebody elses sins.Good though innit?
Now I am thinking that I truly loathe and despise those who treat children this way but have to take into account that they too are victims of a character disorder and I should have pity on them but I just can't.
Likewise,it is not the fault of the golden child that they have been chosen.
Well,I am lucky in only having to consider these things.Stella has to live them and what an angel she is.A leader amongst victims I hope.

well it was only due to your thread last year that i knew about it.There are so many things now that i recognize from the past but i can't say anything on here Sharron

i would love to share all to help others , but i can't it would be betraying her trust and that is the one thing i must never do

xx

I was wondering,Stella,if she is academic. Just my little dream but I was thinking that if she became a psychologist she could be the one who really sets the ball rolling.

Of course,if she didn't become a psychologist she will still be somebody who has been saved from a narcissist and that has to be the beginning of something very,very positive.
Did you have no inkling of your daughter's narcissism?You don't unless you recognize it do you?
All power to you Stella.

Hi Sharron,

i can't relate all on here, but she is very receptive to my suggestions and although i know its along road i have lost a daughter and gained a wonderful grandaughter.

She still keeps asking permission to do the smallest things but is laughing a lot more now. Am sorry i can't tell you the steps i am taking to help her but i have to protect her privacy

xx

:o))

Was hoping there might be an update from Stella this morning. I have everything crossed for her.

Am wondering how the poor girl is going to cope with the lack of stress. Looking back I realize that I have been under unbearable stress due to other people for most of my life and now I am not.Have not been for a few years but am still finding it very difficult to adjust.anybody else feel that way?

Now you think I found it while I was looking for a sex line don't you?

I hope that Stella is doing the first bit of good of many to come from this thread and am pleased beyond belief for her and her grandaughter.

Just can't see how I have been brave in any way.

Deanna

I hope this works for you - copy and paste it
http://forum.psychlinks.ca/narcissistic-personality-disorder/17832-characteristics-of-narcissistic-mothers.html

Sharron
For some reason googling with " didn't work for me so I left them off and Bingo!

I think you are all very brave to 'come out' about this and wish you all the very best.

I just tried that.
The searches told me I there was an error.... and then one of them did open.... and it appeared to be a sexy line!
I'm too old for that C***... so I will leave it! ;-0)
Deanna X

Thank you Sharron I will have a bash at that.
Deanna X

If you Google "characteristics narcissistic mother" it should come up.

It begins with 'Everything she does is deniable...........'

That is how I found it because I don't do web addresses.She was right,I am a lazy little bitch!

I tried, but could not find it Sharron.
I would love to read it.
Any other instructions on how I can find it?
Deanna X

Sharron

This is a great thread,I'm glad it's been nudged up.I read it a year ago and felt so sorry for all the victims of these narcissistic people,usually their mothers.I can't even begin to understand how they feel,with mothers like that.

I even recognised some traits of my mother's in this thread,although she's not that bad.She was constantly criticising and finding fault with everything,which helps to explain why I grew up with not very much self-confidence,and no skills in standing up for myself.I have had to practise to learn how to stand up for myself,and to be proud of who I am. I never really felt good enough,but now I have a lot more self-esteem,and feel that I'm just as good as anyone else.That's thanks to me,not to her.

thanks Sharron, i am just taking things slowly.

Later today i am going to tell her about my mother in the hope she will relate to the story and then i will mention Narcissm.

I have a book "Children of the Self Absorbed" and will gradually go throught it with her.I don't want to rush ..just go at a steady pace , i don't want to overload her.

xx

I really feel quite full up about this outcome Stella.A true vindication of this thread.Something positive has come out of it.

It will probably be very hard going at first as you two work things through but it will be so worthwhile.

You really do deserve the very,very best of luck.