General Chat

Hi Sharron,
I have read your thread in the past, I will pop back in the week for a chat.

The only freedom from a Mother such as mine was not when she died but 6 years later when my much loved Dad died.

I then had access to all the family papers and at last began to understand why she was as she was.

I have not seen the case in the paper but I know so many people who were ruined by their Childhoods.

Teresa

Has anybody else been reading about the man who is quite evidently narcissistic and is being prosecuted for child cruelty by his 26 year old daughter?

I have been following it in the Daily Mirror.

Nudge for those who may need it.

In case it is of use to anybody.

Oh yes,the talking down to.I have just one memory of being cuddled and she was talking down to me then.

Don't tell her you are better.Don't give her reasons.If you are not going to visit just say you are not coming.She may think she is important enough to need a reason but you are important enough not to have to give one.

Just dont tell her! Visit occasionally, but not often and dont offer to do anything, You can barely manage for yourself! Must admit I told my sister that I wouldnt wait on her, and have stuck to it.

Jean as well as my Mum my aunt also expects family to do everything for her. But my aunt never talked down to me or tried to control me so it's easier to love her! When she was ill last year I found her a nice care home for when she left hospital, emptied her house and helped her settle into her new home. I didn't mind as she didn't complain (much). But with Mum It's a never ending battle. It's all about her. Not what's helpful to us too. Dads nursing home has to be near to her, (ok) but lets find one that looks and feels homely even if its a bit farther away.

Now I'm feeling better after my bout of flu, the big question is, when do I let on to her that I am better, and have to start visiting again!!

Sharron I can't remember much of my childhood, I think I blocked it out.

Carole,you are trying out your new place in life aren't you.

Since having the hypnotherapy and working at it myself and,of course, having found that wonderful article,I can start to look back on how it was with my mother without getting angry.

I have been shedding all the unecessary guilt,which should never have been mine anyway,and have now begun to write my childhood down.

Carole, my sister is like that, just keeps hinting that she needs something done. Could well afford say, a taxi, or even get the bus, but expects one of her family to take her wherever she wants to go. Misses her son if she doesnt see him for a week, but forgets to thank the daughter that does all her work for her. will make a cupp of tea for herself and never offer one to her daughter. Could go on for hours as she so irritates me, have told her to her face that she is bone idle and needs to get off her backside, and its like water off a ducks back!

Hey!!!

Yes death by a thousand cuts explains it! It becomes the norn and you don't know any different. My work mates and friends on here have tought me so much. Thanks to you all.

My Mum trerats me and my sister like her personal slaves. But not me anymore.I realise what she does. And when she said get better soon I miss you. I know she misses me taking her to the hospital to visit Dad.
I felt like saying get a taxi then! But no I didn't. Sister runs herself into the ground. Mum says Linda looks so tired. But wouldn't think I'll wait for the gardener to cut the grass, no she let Linda do it for the second time in a week. She wouldn't think Linda is busy helping with her grandkids while their mum is at work. No their mum shouldn't go to work! Then Linda would have more time to do jobs for our mum.
Oh here I go again!!
Sharron thanks for the opportunity for a good old moan xx

Resurrected in honour of Carole who is fighting her corner.

Exactly.It is like a death by a thousand cuts.All little things but so many of them.
How the hell do you explain them all enugh to make others understand what happened.?

Exactly.It is like a death by a thousand cuts.All little things but so many of them.
How the hell do you explain them all enugh to make others understand what happened.?

Further to an earlier thread at the beginning of this debate,my brother has had quite serious health problems for the last 3 years since my mother died & is now having counselling as the medics are fairly sure that the physical symptoms have been caused by the awful childhood we had.
My younger daughter hasn´t had any contact with me for 3 years because of something my mother said to her before she died (have no idea what it was)
& I still have never been allowed to see my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter, not even a photo or any acknowledgement of birthday & Christmas presents I send her.
It´s hard making people understand.

Just rought this up as promised a couple of days ago in case it is of any interest or help to Pauline.

It can apply equally to fathers.

They did Ann.As I have explained on the depression thread,I have a hyperactive ninety year old,mega tooth troubles and generally haven't got around to it.
I am,however,alive and well and living quietly on the south coast of England.

How things change!

Sharron, I thought somebody said you were not on the boards now.

Good idea Sharron, newbys may not have seen it.

Just thought I would bring this up while I am here in case somebody needs it.

If you Google

everything she does is deniable

which is the first line of the article,it will take you straight to it.