General Chat

Just brought to mind, I went through life thinking I was ugly, which according to my mother I was because I wasnt a chubby baby. It was only in my late teens that I learned otherwise!

Just thought I would nudge this up for anybody who might be having difficulties in the run-up to Mothering Sunday.

Good idea, Sharron, mothers day meant nothing to me until my son came along, and he is gone now, so do best to ignore the fuss made.

Actually Jean,I love Mothering Sunday as it reminds me I don't have one and don't have to go through the motions any more. I can't say that I really ever had more than a biological one but still had to be grateful for what I still can't say.

Does anyone know if this disorder runs in families?

i have had to take in my granddaughter..her mother is treating her like my mother treated me..

Well, it looks to me like it does.My mother and my cousin for sure in my family and,now I know what I am looking at,I can see it in other families too.
A woman I know whose first husband drove one of their sons to suicide was telling me that her daughter's daughter seems to have taken against one of her children too. (Read it twice,it does make sense.)

Your grandaughter is very lucky to have somewhere to turn.

well my suffering at my mother's hands is helping me to understand how my granddaughter feels.. i feel so ashamed that my daughter can treat her daughter like this..

You are actually doing something about it though.Well done you.

I watched my neighbours daughter treating one of her two boys this way and could do nothing to stop it. The family did nothing either and he is like some sort of outcast in what is otherwise a close and supportive family.

People are bewildered by it I think and don't know what to do because all mothers are perfect of course.

she is being very strong now she has told me about it, i think she will be ok now.. thank God

Mother is demanding her to go back , but she has stood up to her this time.

Stella,don't waste your emotion on shame. You and your grandaughter will be a strong team.How old is she?

I wish you had been my granny.

she is nearly 19.... and lovely

her brother who is 10 never does any wrong he is sooooo spoilt and never gets told off. She gets blamed for anything and everything.. her mother has said she hates her,, she must feel very hurt inside..

The victims usually seem to be pleasant don't they?

Google narcissism then you and your grandaughter can begin to understand it together.

She is sooooo lucky to have you.

i will in time, i am taking things slowly and have explained that her mother is ill.

i have told her that none of this nastiness has ever been her fault she is not to blame herself for anything.

At least she discusses every thing with me so that is a good start ..i have her trust

You know, I would really like to provide some sort of sanctuary for children who are the victims of this.

Unfortunately society believes that mothers are perfect and,unless you have been a victim yourself,you cannot understand the abuse.It is impossible to articulate.
Let people know what you are doing,spread the news.

i have no doubt that her mother will turn on me now for exposing her, and cover it all with lies as my mother used to do

i don't care i am just glad i found out what was going on..

Oh,Stella.You are truly wonderful.

no....i just wish i had known sooner, the poor girl daren't say anything for years

well she has me now ...lol

her mother won't put me down!"

Just don't ever tell her she didn't mean it.She did mean it and she was wrong to mean it.

Do you think this would have happened if you had notread the article? It really has put it all into perspective.
Maybe,one day,she will be able to pass on the good that you have done to another victim.

Thank you Sharron for creating this thread. I have read through it many times & it has helped me realise after many years, of what made my mother tick! I now feel much better about myself & realise that I was not to blame for things that she had created. I think this emotional trait of abuse does have a tendency to carry on to other family members. I see the signs in my younger sibling & quite possibly in my youngest son....I shall be watching very closely! To be narcisstic, is such a terrible waste of life & in the end, they lose out! I've made the break in the cycle & refuse to be manipulated. I spent many hours seeking help re me thinking I had lost the plot...Can now carry on with life & enjoy my family to the full. The past is the past & will remain so..Thank you again x

Sharron, had i not read this thread would never have understood myself let alone recognize another sufferer in my own family..and i thank you for that

xx