General Chat

nudging for Maggy who has just lost her Dad.
Lizx

nudging for Malc's Jackie, for Katiemaw and anyone else missing loved ones.
Lizx

Steph, if someone has never had such a loss they can't understand can they, but most people can empathise.
I never got to hold or even touch my Zoe, no photos, hand prints, nothing to help me through, as they do nowadays.

I can understand your feelings about bridesmaids . Hope your wedding day goes well - I am sure your daughter will be with you anyway.
Lizx

I'm so sorry to hear that Liz, of course you acknowledge her, she's your daughter.

Mine is 22 years ago, I'm getting married this year and not having bridesmaids because I can't have her to be one.
One sweet relative said "isn't it time you got over that" I didn't get cross she's never had it happen to her so doesn't understand.
If I close my eyes I can feel her head in the palm of my hand, so tiny.

Steph xx

Blue eyes, I too lost my daughter, she was only 3 days old but I understand your feelings totally. 34 years ago last February but can remember it like it was yesterday.
I have never disregarded my baby but always acknowledged her, including her in my parents' death notices in the paper, despite my brothers wondering why.
One day we will see our daughters again.
Lizx

You don't get "over" the death of a loved one, you learn to come to terms with it, you hold the love inside of you and you live on...xx

For grieving mothers

In a babys castle just beyond my eye
My baby plays with angels toys that money cannot buy
Who am I to wish her back into this world of strife
No, play on my baby you have eternal life
At night when all is silent and sleep escapes my eye
I'll hear her tiny footsteps come running to my side
Her little hands caress me so tenderly and sweet
I'll breathe a prayer close my eyes and embrace her in my sleep
Now I have had a treasure that I rate above all other
I have known true glory I AM STILL HER MOTHER



Taken from a poem on the wall of SCBU Portsmouth, when my daughter was in there, she died aged 5 1/2 weeks.

nudging for R.B. in memory of her Step-Mum and for Joyce and Jan, whose cousin lost his wife. All of you are in my thoughts.
Lizx

For Mandy and Marston's young relative Ollie, for Dutch's dear father in law, and for all those grieving for lost loved ones.
Lizx

I'm pleased it brings you some comfort marion ((hug)))

xx

I found this written in a book of Mum's

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
(Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!
Mary Frye (1932)


Underneath, Mum has written

And this I truly believe
Mum
x

A Mother's love is something
that no on can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand.


A Mother is she who can take the place of all others,
but who's place no one else can take.

I am reading this thread and crying at the same time. it will be 3yrs tomorrow since she died. here is an ode to her.

mam is a name
without one life
is not the same
you were there
for me when i
needed a friend
on you dear mam
i could always depend
so wrap your arms around her lord
and treasure her with care
for that angel was my mother
the best beyond compare

Thanks Liz
Love Mary xx

Getting over he loss of a loved one, is the strangest saying in the world to me. This never happens, yes you learn to smile for the world again, but inside, you grieve forever, some times are harder than others as you say, but reading a peom so beautiful, can make you sad, but also happy to have memories to get you along.

nudging for Mary and her dear friend Marg.
Lizx

Julie, I have had this Remember me verse on the boards for a long time, the first thread with lots of lovely verses added, disappeared when the board layout changed, but I try and nudge this new thread every so often because the words are comforting and reassuring. Lovely that your Mum had it in her little book, so you could use it at her funeral.

Jean, that verse is lovely, I haven't heard it before.

Smurf, thanks for adding the verse by H. S-H.
I don't see why people think we should 'get over' the loss of a loved one, we just learn to go on without them, it doesn't mean we should forget them or not grieve for them. Maybe sometimes we are having a difficult time or we see someone else grieving and that brings things back to us, of the way we felt at a sad time in our lives. Everyone deals with things in a different way. No one will think badly of you on here if you ask for a hug or special thoughts when you are down.
Lizx

you're welcome Julie, I find a lot of comfort in the verse too. I have been reading it a lot recently as I am missing my grandad terribly at the moment, although not sure why, its like he has died all over again even though it was 12 years ago. Does anyone else feel like this?

Often think if I mention how sad I feel people will just say I should be over it or something, but the feeling is real enough. x x x x

Fountain of Love ( I don't know the author)

I hear you cried a fountain
Because I went away
I hear that you reach out for me
every single day
I know that there’s not many songs
that you can bear to hear
that do not make you feel so sad
and want me to be near
please don’t cry a fountain because you think I’m dead
I’m here beside you every day
I’m here inside your head
I’m here with every breath you take
and every night when you’re asleep
into your room I gently creep
and place a kiss on your forehead
oh no my Love I am not dead
for there is no such thing you know
and I am here to prove it so
When my body grew so tired
and my heart was beating slow
and when my legs refused to move
I knew it was my time to go
Please don’t cry a fountain
I’m here with you forever
though my body’s gone to dust
I will leave you never !


Jean xx

Thank you for this one tonight Smurf. When my mum died 14 years ago we found a notebook open at the side of her bed. It was full of little poems and odes that she had found along the way and the page was open on 'Remember Me' We used it for the funeral service and we have 'All is Well' inscripted with a rose on the corner of the cremation stone in the churchyard. I keep a card in my purse with the verse on and read it often. It gives me a great deal of comfort. Thank you.

Juliexx