Genealogy Chat

my mum had a brother that died at 3monthes 1930 her dad carried the coffin she and her mum and siblings follow and he was buried in a small grave by the path she says a baby of familys who were poor or had no money were buried this way do not know if records of these where kept Val

Since I was a child I had been aware that I had another sister who was stillborn, but it was never discussed. Once I started researching the family I wanted to track down as much information about her as possible. All I knew was that she was born beween 1949 and 1958. The Registrar General office in Southport were brilliant and after a number of searches came up with a stillbirth certificate. The first big shock was that she had been born almost exactly one year to the day before me. It then struck me that she could only have been buried in our local cemetery as there was no crematorium locally at the time. I took a chance contacting our Council about cemetary records and one visit later to our local office I had not only been shown the actual burial record, but been given an aproximate location for her burial. Alas at that time (1958) it was convention to bury in an unmarked grave with another public burial but the wonderful man at the records office had taken the time to study the registers and work out the most likely plot. My sisters and I were able to place some flowers there last year for the first time ever. Sorry to be so long winded, but my point is never give up and try all avenues. Municipal cemetary staff are wonderfully helpful and treat every enquiry with tact and respect.

Cremation has only been an option since the 1880s, and wasn't terribly popular until the early 20th century. It's almost certain that 'your' babies were indeed buried. I think the burial-with-strangers practice tended to be for the very, very young, not toddlers, but I could be wrong.

Following on from Abbess......... also, burying an infant in the coffin of a stranger meant that an unbaptised child would get to be buried in consecrated ground and with the correct burial service being read - this would have been some solace to many parents of unbaptised and stillborn babies. Merry

I was discussing this with a friend recently, who said that because infants were often buried for free, they were often laid in the coffins of strangers.

Hi Everyone, Wow what a lot of replies, I thought I would just check to see if anymore replies had come in and there they all were! The children I am mainly talking about are my Grandmothers brothers and sisters, my grandmother always said that she was the youngest of 9, we only knew of 5, I have now found all nine but was curious as to how they buried or even cremated in those days, it must have been so heartbreaking to lose any child but to lose 3 within 6years with the average age of 18 months must have been awful. So from the replies I have had it looks like if I phone or contact the local church where they died they may have them in their burial index, even if it was a paupers grave. Thanks everyone. Maggie

One of my children was stillborn at term 8 years ago and at the time lots of older women opened up to me about their experiences. It was quite usual even 30 years ago for stillborn babies or those who died in infancy to be buried with an adult and for parents to have no idea where the baby was buried. I think it is a particuarly emotive issue for us in the 21st century because we don't have to face up to the loss of infants in the way our ancestors did.

Oh how sweet...what a nice thought

My father's sister died at three weeks, I have her birth and death certificates, but when I searched for her burial record at the local council, it was never found. I was told by the lady at the council, that babies when buried around the walls of the church or chapel within the cemetery, so when it rained, the water that fell off the chapel became holy and blessed the babies buried below. M.

Sylvia the tone of this question is VERY different to yours. The lady who started this thread does NOT refer to the babies as "it". She obviously thought long and hard about the wording before making her post.

Maggie Infant deaths - either we think about these matters or we don't. If we do, then it is necessary to consider every eventuality that can be thought of - proper burial through to medical research, and no doubt it happened then too. If the child was not baptised then I believe they were buried in unconsecrated ground, outside the churchyard. Coupled with lack of grave marker it is likely to make matters hard to track down. Ian

I only found out about my G grandparents 4 dead babies because there was a mention of them on their father's gravestone. "In memory of four children died in infancy". There were no names dates or ages but at least it pointed me in the right direction. As to where they were buried - I have no idea. Anne

My Gt Grandparents had 14 children. Only 4 survived. All the ones who died were buried in Common Graves in Whitby Cemetery. The youngest was 12 hours old. Scarborough Crematorium who look after the records for Whitby were extremely helpful and gave me the plot numbers for each grave and also sent me a plan of the cemetery.

Someone did some lookups for me on the NBI (National burial index?) and one was aged 1 day.

And the 'sensible answer' is yes 'babies' do get buried and cremated.

This is the same question I asked on General Topics and which a few took as distasteful. Anyway, will look forward to a sensible answer to your question!

Paul, I agree with Sarah, perhaps cremation was an option. Losing a child is traumatic enough, at least a burial, albeit in a pauper's grave, would have given the parents some sense of closure. It seems only nowadays that we have become a hard hearted people who can dispose of unwanted babies in rubbish bins etc. No, I'm not climbing on an anti abortion soapbox here because this is not the place, but if it gets some people thinking about it.....I have made my point.

Sorry Paul but I think that kind of response is likely to prevent people from asking questions - the only daft question is one that isn't asked. It might seem logical to you, but personally I wouldn't like to assume that what we consider appropriate today to have been the case decades ago.

Forgive me for being sarcastic, but what do you think they did with the babies if not bury them ?

Thanks Sheila, Maggie