Genealogy Chat

Hi guys, I can't beliebe how much I have missed you all. I have only been gone 4 nights! Went to sort out my feelings and relax. Neither happened. Pretty certain I have found out who my dad was. Won't say too much as I need to talk to Joan. Hope you all understand. I will tell you shortly what happened. Lets just say it's not good news, but not in the way you're probably thinking! Love to all Jules xx

hi lou i am so glad that things are looking up for you, isnt joan a wonderful lady, she is helping me to i hope things turn out ok for me, again i am really pleased for you regards lorraine xx

Lou- so glad, especially after our chat earlier.Did you do it? , You know!! Jess x

Hi All Jess, babe, don't feel guilty, it WAS pushing midnight and a shot in the dark that you would still be up! Just been speaking to Joan. She's had quite a lengthy chat tonight with my birth mother's new partner's sister (I THINK that was how it was!). Got LOTS of fam his, MAJOR skeletons falling out of the cupboard (boy..thought MY life was complicated!), but this lady thinks that birth mother will want to talk to me. There's a LOT of issues to consider BUT I now know for CERTAIN that the entire family know about me, I wasn't a dirty secret and THAT alone has made me feel so much better. Hoping to get an update tomorrow evening so will post when I have more info! Lou xx

hi jess , hi everyone jess my birth sister rang me last night and we had a good chat about things and we have promised to keep in touch and ring each other when we can that is nice , my aunty has not rang me yet but you never know she might , jess i found you story about the balloon very interesting and it is true nobody does no what you will find at the end all your dreams might be good or they might not be as good as your addoped parents but nobody will know unless they try jess have you had any news from your brother ? and lou have you heard anything from your search and jules how did you get on ? lots of love donna x x

Jules has been away staying with her new found family. Back on Wednesday.

nudge for Lorraine

where are Donna and Jules - how's it going you two? Keep thinking about both of you especially Lou....you needed me and i wasn't there- so sorry my friend.hope you got my message. ..... Jess

Blimey Jess Some of us are still at the new uninflated balloon stage cos people promise to return phone calls and provide information and then don't bother! Lou

Been sitting on my garage step, thinking.Why garage step - don't know just was. It occured to me that all of us adopteed seem to go thru a process which I can equate to blowing up a balloon . new uniflated balloon=desire to know huffing and puffing = finding out all the info, putting in the effort and getting together the facts Tying the knot= the meeting/phone call that you set out to achieve the slow deflation = You did it and came out of it with some hopes and maybe dreams and they all slowly ebb away . How many have a balloon that's still inflated and isn't slowly going down?............... Jess x

Hi Donna, Glad you're home safe and sound. I'm sorry to hear that you were bombarded with people and all their probs. That is something you could have well done without today. It will probably take you a good couple of days to get your head almost straight again! Don't worry if not, everyone has to find their own way around these times. If you need any of us just give us a shout. We'll be there in a hurry. YOu may feel a bit overwhelmed at times but that is completely normal. Stay strong and don't feel as though you have been backed into a corner about things. This is your time and your journey. Take care Jules xx

Donna, if i am reading correctly your aunt and your Uncle hadn't spoken for over 20 years until today? Well, sweetie if you never SEE any of them again and never HEAR from any of them again - at least you achieved what you set out to - You met them. Jess

hi lorraine i have just read your thread i am so pleased for you and i would like to wish you every happiness it is nice to hear some loverly news lots of love donna x x

hi jess and sue you are probably right jess i do not know what i am letting myself in for i do not know these people and now they want me to know all there problems i do not know who to beleive i think that i do need to take time out and think things through before i introduce my children to them jess my dad died in 1982 , i did find something interesting out though my dad was also addopted as was his brother small word i will keep everyone updated as things go on lots of love donna x x

hi everyone yes i am back again, with more news if you dont mind, well the lovely joan has been working hard, she has found that my birth grandmother had 8 children, one of which was my birthmother, my birthmother also had three children and if you include me she had 4, thats a family and a half lol will keep you all informed regards lorraine xx

Joan, A big thank you for your call yesterday evening. I did appreciate it and didn't realise how much time had gone by until I put the phone down!! regards, Sue

Donna so glad you are back safe and sound. Sound like you have walked into a bit of a minefield and certainly bombarded with lots of facts. Remember- 1/10 of it is probably the absolute truth 3/10 of it is probably somewhere near the truth 1/2 of it is total gobeldegook and the last 10th....Axes they had to wield about their own feelings amongst themselves. Take some time to think it all thru, don't get yourself upset - we're here to listen just out of curiosty- how long ago did you B/F Die? Jess x

Donna, I am sorry that you had such a huge amount of emotional things going on at your first meeting, it must be hard to take it all in. It is probably better to sit back and look at everything again and decide what YOU want. Then you can control the pace at which things go from there. Don't forget we're here for you. love Sue

hi jess and jules thankyou for asking how my meeting went , myself and my husband went to the pub at 11 o'clock when we got there was anouther car with some people in it we thought nothing of it ,just after 11 my uncle turned up in his car with his daughter he got out and said hello the other people got out of there car and came over they was my dads wife ,her new husband and her daughter and her two grandchildren also her step son turned up in his car it was quite worrying apparantly they wanted to meet me ,it felt quiet awkward we all went up to my auntys she was a loverly women i met my nan we talked and she gave me some pictures of my birth dad ,after a while my dads wife she left with her daughter and family and so did my uncle who has promised to contact me again also my sister gave me her mobile number so that we could talk but if i meet her ,her mom has to be with her strange , well after she left my aunty was so angry apparantly they have not spoke since my dads funerall and she thought it was too much for me to take in and she was going to have words with my uncle ,i felt so sorry for my birth dad when my aunty was telling me how his wife made his life horrible when he was dying of a brain tumour and his wife had moved her lover in to her bed and my dad into the next room ,she used to beat him and was so nasty that she made him so depressed that he had drowned him self in the bath , he must have been so lonely and upset my aunty said i was pretty and my dads wife said she knows i am but she can not work out how what a nasty thing to say to somebody , 6 months after my dad had died she had married her lover i hope he never gets ill oh well i could go on but i have got alot of emotions at the moment to think about it was not the way that i wanted to meet my birth family lots of love donna x x

Donna, Thinking of you. Good luck luv. Jules xx