Genealogy Chat

Hi, everyone, i have just spoken to Joan, (recomemded by some one on tips board) she suggested i message this thread. I am at the end of my tether, my birth mother and full blood brother seem to have totally disapeared. (i know they are alive!), its comforting to hear all your success stories, its giving me the strength to carry on. I know that my birth father is dead, he had remarried, i have been in touch with his widow ,they had 3 children, my half brother and sisters, but they dont want to know. Sorry to sound so depressed, just needed someone to talk to who understands, my partner is grate but was not adopted and thinks i am obsessed. Julia X

jess i hope you do not mind me joining your thread with jules but I think the grandad who likes poetry was on jules dads side and I do not think that he knew about jules ,but he has accepted her as part of the family bless him lots of love donna x

Jules Is Grandad Mac, the one you ar hoping to meet , the poet, on your mothers side or your fathers? Where did he fit in 30 odd years ago? Did he know you were born or have you come out of the blue? Jess

hi jules I am really pleased for you ,only you truly know what is best for you and your family ,I am sorry to hear that you did not have a nice upbringing with your adopted family ,perhaps like you said you have finnally found peice well inner peice with your self and i wish you every happiness It will probably take alot of time to get to know your family or you might just click like you have never been away from them lots of love donna x x

JUles, didn't mean to offend/upset you or pry. You have told me a little off thread and respect you greatly for that, I do hope it works out for you - only you know what is right for you and your family - I just hope that having moved to be near them they don't have to move away for any reason.....Jess x

I had already been planning to move away for two years now. Finding my birth family on both sides has been the clincher for me. I have found a place where I finally belong. Things would be different if I had the same relationship with adoptive as you do but in truth I don't. We just love to hate each other. I try not to hate them as then I would be no better than they. They have put me thru hell for 31 years and it's time to move forwards with my life. I will not let them control me anymore or my kids. I have found strength I didn't know I had until I found myself. I know in my heart that if I don't move and continue on this path of destruction I will die. It is a very long and complicated story that only a very few know. Joan knows some of what has happened. I hope to have moved by the end of the summer hols. I can't stay away from my birth family. I'm drawn like a bee to honey. I'm off out now. talk later Jules xx

Jules. I find a comment you've made possibly 'off the cuff' a bit stunning - have you really only spoken to your birth sister once,made contact with your birth Grandfather and talking about them being an hour away 'until we can move closer'. Are you really seriously planning to up sticks and move to be close to your birth family? Just wondering... Jess x

Hi Donna, It was nice to hear her voice. I can't wait to meet her. I only hope we can be really close as sisters should be. J lives nearer birth family and Grandad. Only an hour in the car until we can move nearer. Hope you have a good day today. Love Jules

hi jules That is brill news i was wondering about you yesterday it is nice to talk to your sister on the phone does she live local to you? good luck with your meeting with your grandad next week lots of love donna x x

Hi everyone, Hope everyone had a nice easter Sunday. I had to put meeting my Grandad off until this week. A close friend of his had been rushed into hospital. I also had to go and see my adoptive family for the traditional egg giving nonsense. Not the kind of atmosphere I enjoy being in but it was for my kids! However I have spoken to my sister last night after she sent me an email. I couldn't wait to speak to her. It was a little crazy as we both have a couple of kids, rather she has 2 more than me!!! It was a little hard to hear over the din. She is still a little shocked but glad not to be the eldest anymore! That job now falls to me. J said I look like my dad but I think my middle lad looks like his double. Especially if I was to put a 70's blonde shoulder length perm wig on him and a moustache. Very spooky! James looks just like my Grandad. I'm not sure exactly who I look most like on Dad's side. Probably Grandad and my sisters. J with the eyes and nose and P with the forehead and blonde hair and bridge of the nose. I am hoping to meet my sister J this week and Grandad. Not sure when but will keep you informed. I was supposed to meet up with cookie and her family yesterday too. Hopefully I can see them today all being well. Grandad has just sent another photo of my Dad is trying to put together a letter for My Dad's last wife and mother of my baby brother. We don't want to upset them or their memory of my Dad. He was very happy with them. I don't know why but maybe, just maybe she was told about me? Probably clutching at straws here. I'm off for now. Talk later. Enjoy yourselves. Love Jules xx

hi jess sorry jess I do go on abit lol ,I just thought it was loverly what you are going to do for your addopted mum Give your brother time he will get in touch lots of love donna x x

Hi Donna This is OUR thread, Not Joans - she's got a whole website...He he!!! Nope, nothing from Him. Que sera sera... Jess x

hi jess i am sorry to hear about your addopted mum it is really nice to know that she has got you to look after her and it is right they did give you all the love that they could when they addopted you and everyone who has a addopted parent is really lucky and I do think that we owe these parents everything in the world after all they was there for us when we was ill ,our first day of school I think they are really the ones that matter and we owe them alot for all there time and effort that they put in . I think that when we do find our birth parents it must hurt them but i do think everyone should know there roots be good or bad but hopefully we can still have our addopted parents as well Jess have you had any reply off your birth brother , lots of love donna x x

Busy busy buddies, like catching up on the mail after 2 weeks holday and i've only been away 28 hours! I've been with Mum and dad over the weekend - and realised they are the ones that really count - My mum is now in the early stages of Dementia and Dad is'nt really coping - had the strangest feeling driving home - These people who now are going to rely on me more and more, are the only ones that really matter.If i had been adopted by someone else things probably would have been very different - But even now, wouldn't change them for the world,eve if Mum isn't really Mum any more - It sounds big headed, that in the state she is getting into I am glad she has me- i WILL cope with what her illness entails- May way of paying back for the life they willingly gave me. jess x

hi jules how are you feeling this morning ? did you get much sleep ?I am really pleased for you and can not wait untill you get back later and tell us all about your meeting I think that your grandad sounds loverly and if he writes poertry he will have alot of love to give to you please let us know ,stay carm and just enjoy yourself this afternoon you have got alot to catch up on lots of love donna x x

hi joan hope you do not mind me adding something on your thread but I think it is loverly that you managed to find all of these people there addopted family you must have spent alot of time doing the reserch for them and alot of people on here have alot of respect for you which is really nice you sound a loverly caring lady who puts other people first It is loverly that you are going to be a grandmar and that you stay in touch with everybody that you have helped I bet you are like a second mum to everyone I think you desrve a star for all the hard work that you do lots of love donna x x

Hi Donna, It seems a little weird seeing your face staring back at you from when you were a dreaded teenager I can tell you! As for Grandad well, if I look that good when I'm his age (73) I'll be happy. I can't wait to see more photos being the nosey sod I am! Grandad write poetry too. Something I have a go at once in a while although i am terrible at it! He said he is going to get them published. Will be thinking of you all this afternoon with love. Stay strong. Love Jules xx ps. Thanks for the msg Joan. God Bless you love Jxx

Lou and Lorraine It is hard for me to respond to emails. I am better yakking as everyone knows. I will try and get in touch with you both over the next couple of days. Even though most people think that my part has ended I can assure everyone it never does. I am here always and even if I am not in touch often it doesn't mean I am not thinking of everyone. I was contacted by a young 43 year old woman this week (who I reunited with her twin sisters and brother in 2000) who told me I was going to be a grandma!! Vicki has always called me 'Mum' and I love the fact that she thinks of me in this way. God bless her, I said if it is a girl please don't call her Joan. I predicted that she would be pregnant over a year ago although her partner wanted a child, she didn't and I told her 'you don't get a say' you are going to have another baby. I got it right!!! Much love to Vicki, Peter and their son Elliot and congratulations on the forthoming event. I am taking bets it will be a girl and expected around my boy's birthday in early September.

Jules Have a wonderful day on Sunday meeting your grandad Mac (your dad's father). I will be thinking of you. Love Joan

hi lorraine I am so sorry ,it is such a shame that your birth mom would not even send you a photo or a explanation , you searched for so long to be told this my heart goes out for you at this momment you did not ask to be born and i do not know the reason why your mom gave you away but it is not your fault you did not ask to be born and you have not done anything wrong ,it will be her loss in the end at least you have got your addopted parents who must love you to bits to bring you up as there own please just email me if you would like to talk , I hope you have got somebody there to give you a big hug lots of love donna x x