Genealogy Chat

Hi guys, I'm not going to be on site much this week. Need a bit of a breather. I will still pop in now and again to catch up and if anyone needs to talk just email me direct. I'll be there. I have quite a bit of info to get my head around and I keep being told to take a little time out, but I'm addicted !!! Jess have you heard anymore from your bro? Donna how did the meeting go last night? Lou How are things going ? Have things stopped falling out of the closet yet? Ian Hang on in there. Keep chatting on here it will help to talk about things wether that be good or bad. It not only helps you but other people on here that either just read the msgs or actually join in. If you ever need us just shout. All the best . Everyone stay strong. loves Jules

Ian- think you need to get hold of your adoption file - hopefully it will tell you of the circumstances surrounding your adoption and any children born before you (hopefully!) Jess

hi Ian, i cant offer advice as i am still searching for my birth mother and Brother, but wish you all the best and hope it all goes ok for you. I felt really down before i joined this thread, but everyone has been so supportive and given me inspiration to carry on. Am sending you a cyber hug for good luck. Julia.X

Hi Ian, Have you ever viewed your adoption records? do you know if you have the same father as well, its possible that he has entered their details in his tree to place a message on the TTF board have you looked on there to see if there is anything? Hi Rainy Girl :O) Just got back from a week in Paris with my birth sister and our husbands, we have out birthdays a week apart so it was a joint celabration. I can't believe it's only a year since we first met and she flew to Germany on my birthday to meet me, feel like she has been around forever. Donna, Hard though it may be hold of a little on calling your sisters we all come to terms with this at different stages, don't forget when you are activley searchig for your birth family you have time to come to terms with all this information for a lot of them, it comes like a bolt out the blue, and they need time to adjust, hopefully you will hear soon. Sylvia Still no luck then, keep trying something must turn up its just a question of time. Jess, Still got my fingers crossed for you, so I hope he phones soon, before i get cramp :O)) Everyone out there still searching stay posative, look at the success board or just total up the number of re-unions of this thread alone, to see it can happen!! Take Care All Sheila

Hiya Jess, I don't really know, I have never met my mother, father or brother, I just know their names and that my brother was two years older than me. He may have been adopted, I have no idea. - Ian

welcome Ian - wow what a place to be at , scared and apprehensive -i'll bet! for clarification- was your birth brother also given for adoption or just you? Jess

Hiya all, I am using my friend's account to post this, my name is Ian. I have just found my birth brother, I am 100% sure it is him, he has added my birth father's and my birth mother's names to his tree and they all come from where I was born - I am stunned, I don't know what to say to him... Does he know about me? Will he get my message? Will he reply? What will happen? Can I handle this? This is very daunting and I am terrified! Half of me wants to do nothing and avoid the stress, the other half is yearning for discovery. I want to know, but I'm afraid of what I will find... any words of re-assurance or advice would be greatly appreciated, I am a 32 year man filled with belly butterflies, very apprehensive, feeling strangely helpless.

Becky I had a similar problem but managed to get round it by ordering it directly from the Register Office NOT thru the GRO. It's not London is it???? Lou

Liz, thats sad, wonder if they do it vying for his attention over you. 'dads and daughters ' is always precious and guess she resent having to share him with you jess

hi sue i dont think it can be resolved as i dont want to cause anyone any heartache or upset, so i am now going to wait to see my adoption file and see what that comes back with, i am not sure what the adoption file will contain, it seems like a life time waiting for it, i am hoping that my birth fathers name mite be in it, but as b/m dosent want to know, then i doubt whether my b/f will want to know either that would be just my luck. love lorraine xx

you ok Liz?...missed you lately jess x

Hello Lizloojay, Can I help?? Sue

Liz If you need a shoulder, I'm here! Lou

Hi to everyone, I have just caught up with all posts since Wednesday, such a lot has happened on here, I was holding my breath for the next instalment!! Julia, Don't ever feel you are obsessed, it is more that you are 'driven' in your search. I hope you have a breakthrough soon. Are there any members of GR in Mallorca, who could look in the phone directory for you, it might be worth a post on the General board. Donna, I'm sorry to hear about your adopted father, perhaps he feels unsure how it will all work out and also may think you will 'reject' him. Try to explain that you need to know about your 'roots' and that it is still early days for your relationship with your new family. Jules, I am so pleased that you have family to meet, it must be awesome for you. I am sorry that your adopted family have caused you grief, it is the last thing you need. Perhaps a clean break will help, but remember that you can always control the pace at which you get to know your new family. Lou, I am thrilled that you have spoken to your BM, how scary must that have been!! Can't wait to hear what happens when you meet. Lorraine, I really feel for you, you have put in so much emotionally, that you probably can't believe what has happened. I hope it can be resolved. Is there any way you could use a mediator, if you haven't already, to get in touch with your BM? Jess, I am sorry to hear about your adoptive mother. My adoptive mother has Alzheimers, so if there is any help I can give, let me know,please. Becky, If I can be of any help, let me know. I am going to the Family Records Centre next week, so could do a look up for you, there is a section on Foreign and Consular Births, Deaths and Marriages, next door to the Adoptions Section. That offer is open to any of you on this posting as well. As an update, I have had no replies to the advert I placed in the Polish Daily newspaper. But I'm still hopeful that I may get a lead. Best wishes to you all, Sue

I agree with Jess. I'd send for them both using the mother's name as a checking point but not mentioning the word ADOPTED as they might refuse to send out the certificate.

Given that there are prob. 2 i'd send for both, without the checking system (no pain no gain) as i remember someone saying that when the fact that the cert was stamped adopted they wouldn't send it out. maybe someone else will have some thoughts jess

Hi Becky Yes the checking system at the GRO is worth doing. You put on the form any details you sure about i.e the birth mothers name. & when they call up the cert to print they check first that the detail/s agree. If they dont then thay dont print the cert & send you a part refund I,ve done this in the past & its saved getting a cert that isnt for your relly & wasting £7 I think you get back either £3 or£4 Cant remember which, but at least it saves you a few bob & getting a cert that no use to your research Shirley PS I always note done the ref for the wrong one .It saves trying that ref again .

Hi Becky The only thing to do then would be to search the appropriate years on 1837online until you find a birth for a girl with a mothers maiden name that matches the one you need. It might mean sending off for a couple of certs but you'll know when you have the right one cos it will state ADOPTED across the certificate Good luck! Lou

You're very welocme, of course! In answer to your question - with great difficulty!.Do you know the girls birth name/DOf B? If so there are probably more avenues open to you. Jess

Donna, just like me, you have spoken with your birth sibling , then it all seems to ebb away, despite promises, so you and i are in the same boat- although i have only spoken to his wife not him.This seems to happen quite a lot- initial contact seems fine then nothing...which to be honest is my Concern for Jules.(sorry Jules...) Jess