Genealogy Chat

Thanks Jess We are happy to take things slowly and see how it goes, will let you know what happens! Best wishes jenny

Hi Jenny, Really happy for you all. Wishing you all the best. Jules x

Hi Jenny Thrilled for you, hope it all works out Best of luck Lou x

Update Asked Grandad if it was ok to go to the airport to see my brother before he went home. We spent an hour chatting and laughing. Hubby and 3 of the little ones were with me. Hubby was really pleased to see me so happy. It's awful saying goodbye. I did block the tears til I got in car! What a softy I am! I have taken some photos of us together and also given him a couple to take home and show his Mum. Grandad told me that A is thrilled with his new sister. I am thrilled with my brother. It seems strange to have a brother who wants to be around me and one that I can relate to. My adoptive brother and I have never really got on. We are like chalk and cheese. I used to feel like the black sheep of the family and within my adoptive family that will never change especially now. However, within my birth family I feel like I belong. It does make me wonder what my life could have been like but you can't change the past. I still haven't been able to grieve for Dad as yet. It's still doesn't seem real. When I can organise going to Holland I will be able to put things to rest properly. Hope everyone is well. Love Jules xx

hi everyone it is good that lou has had contact with her mom i am so pleased for you and it is great that jules has made contact with her birth family and that things are going well i am so pleased and jenny congratulations on finding your brothers sister it is brill .jess have you had any contact with your brother? I am on a low point at the momment i am really getting on well with my aunty and uncle and there family which is brill but the sad thing is i went to my dads grave today to put some flowers for him with my aunty marie and there was a letter off my sisters saying that they did not want anything to do with me and that i was not welcome to put any flowers on for my dad which really upset me they said they have got wonderfull memorys of my dad and i have no right to any of them and that i was upsetting there mom by being around and i should just go this was the woman who moved her lover in whilst my dad was dying sorry to go on just needed some support not sure wether to keep seeing my aunty and uncle or just walk away as i do not want to upset anybody else and my addopted dad still does not want to see me best wishes donna x x x

Donna that is so hard. No-one can stop you putting flowers for your Dad- maybe his grave isn't going to be the right place but there must be somewhere that could be a special place just for you. or maybe plant a special something in your own garden Just for him. I am not defending your 1/2 sisters at all but from the other side it must be hard- in a way you have far more than me, you have met them and in the greater part , have achieved what you intended. Maybe it isn't a case of walk away, just back a way a bit, let Aunt and Uncle contact you and if contacts ceases, well, maybe that was the way it was meant to be. Maybe you dad wil feel easier if you do loosen the new tie a bit- maybe he was right and it wasn't the right thing to do- maybe you need to tell him he was right after all and that you love him? Thinking of you jess x

HI SHEILA, yep im trying to keep in good with worcester social services though they dont make it easy and refuse to do anything or even confirm when and where she was adopted, till the law changes, i have contacted worcester county courts myself, and have a family judge currently looking over all trhe information i have sent (dates copies of birth certificates photos etc), he will decide what information if any can be released to me , even if i knew the exact date of her adoption, all these things help as its all little bits of a very large puzzell. i just hope hes a nice judge who will help me , they have there own adoption dept at worcester.. its just a keep my fingers crossed again think for now but im hoping something will come of it. kel

one of my family had a Son adopted I know his real name and I think his adopted name and who adopted him but I dont think she would like me contacting him what do you think is it a bad idea ?and would he mind do you think he is 40 years old now

Jess, dont forget the thousands of foster children that were never adopted, I know that you probably meant them to be included under adoptees as well. I was fostered until I reached 16 but lived with my 'Mum' until I left home and got married at 26, I always considered her to be my 'Mum' until she passed away. The day she passed away the nurse said that she was a lucky woman to have a son like me but I replied ' No, I was the lucky one really', not going into detail with her. It has never worried me that I was fostered, I had a wonderful childhood and can never thank my 'Mum' enough for my upbringing, There will, of course, always be the thought of who my birth mother was , at the back of my mind, and yes I would like to know about her but it may never happen so I get on with it, but I do understand those who cannot find out the truth . Thanks for having this thread, Jess. James.

No Problem James, glad you have out your side too - Blokes as you can no doubt see are in the minority on this thread - perhaps not as open or feel differently- I don't know. You were not brought up with your birth Mum- that makes you a member of the 'gang'- welcome!! Jess x

hi further to my previous message, my birth mother and brother came to my house on Sunday(yesterday)it was very emotional but really lovely as well. my mother looks so like me(or maybe should be other way round) it was like looking in the mirror except for an older face. My brother also looks like me we look like two peas in a pod!. We all hugged and cried and talked for hours. I even have the same mannerisms as both of them, very spooky. We looked at photos of me and my brother as babies, we were very alike then as well. I know it sounds strange but although i have never met them before, i recognised them and felt a strong sense of belonging. I am meeting my cousin next sunday (shes the one who set the ball rolling) and then the rest of the family the week after. God i think im going to explode with happines. I hope this does not upset those who are still searching and those who have not had positive results, but i needed to share this with fellow adoptees, as only you can understand fully!! I will let you know how we all get on Joan thanks you are one in a million love Julia xxxxxx

Thanks Jess, appreciate that, And to Julia, glad that all went well and smoothly for you and that Sunday will bring you more happiness. For those of you who may never find or meet youre birth parents, never forget the love that your foster/adoption parents gave you, that is to be cherished for ever no matter what. But do be aware when asking about youre past, their hearts may quietly be breaking BUT they will understand. Be happy, James. PS, come on you men, lets have more from you, dont be shy.

I agree with you James, my adopptive parents gave me a very happy childhood and loved me like their own, to me they will always be my parents, but i needed to find my missing peices to my life jigsaw. My dad is dead and my mum has senile dementia,i love her dearly and would never hurt her. I now have two mums !! Julia X

Hi, my adoptive parents have given a really good life,I also thought that something was missing and I found my birth mum a year ago now but I am still looking for my brother I dont think I will feel 'complete' until I have found him. Sue

Hi Jess. Reading the messages again. I mailed you some time ago regarding friends mother, now 76, trying to get info on her birth family. She was born 1927 and adopted. She only managed to get her original birth cert approx 2 years ago and not a lot of info from Social Worker. It was me that told her just before Xmas that she had a twin sister. (info I see on birth cert gave a time of birth - sign of another birth). To cut a long story short the SW only admitted to 'a twin' after several meetings and an insistance on my friends part that we had found the evidence. However, to date, they will not give her further details of her twin or acknowledge whether she had been adopted or not. They say they have contacted the Westminster courts (place of adoption) and they will not open the file to her, perhaps at 'a later date' was quoted. Hels Bells, the woman is 77. Have they no compassion! She only wants to know if her sister is still alive before it's too late. It's been said on this message line that they now have 'the Right to Information. Apparently that's not actually true. Apparently the Data Protection Act can come into force. It is because the 'other twin' may never have known that she was adopted and may, even now, cause distress. I find that hard to believe in this day and age. If anyone can tell me how to get round this problem I would be only too greatful. All other info regarding birth mother, her marriages and other children, we have found out for ourselves. We only need an adopted name for the 'twin'. Mo.

Mo Unfortunately there is no cross referencing system for birth/adopted names. SW wont give you that info, any more than they will give me my birth brothers names. For a twin this must be doubly hard, but the info is only open to the adoptee themselves. Do you have the other twin's original birth cert? Was she/he deffinatley adopted too? Jess x

Hi Maureen, Have you had a look at the orignal entries of 1837, to see what the twins details are? sometimes the number is crossed through with a new number besides it, indicating the entry in the adoption register, if there is an entry you can at least order the birth certificate it may be nice for your friend to have at least some confirmation of her twins birth. Not sure where you stand about acess to information about her though, normally when you view records they will tell you about any older siblings born before you (wonder if you can get around that if she was the younger twin? cannot see what harm it can cause, if her sister had been born a year or two before they may have informed her of this, pretty ironic isn't it?) Good Luck with your search. Sheila

Mo. I am supposed to be decorating (lol) and have been 'thinking' whilst wafting My roller, about this. If you can find the other twins birth record, at least the 'other half' name will be known, maybe you already have done this. The name she was subsequently given 70 odd years ago, at this stage is almost of little consequence in that, even if the social worker gave it to you on a piece of paper today, is going to be almost impossible to trace and even if you were able to trace it, the chances of her being alive i would say are at best 50/50. She'll probably have married, one twice, who knows? if the name was given to you as 'Ethelbert Aberentwhistle' maybe you'd stand a change but if it was 'Jane brown? Please don't be too hard on the SW - she is only doing her Job and what perhaps i'll regret putting to paper (or screen) is the dis-compassion shown by her parents, in not ever telling her the facts. Perhaps i've spent too much time thinking... better go jess

Hi Mo I agree with everything Jess has said and unfortunately can add no more words of wisdom. I think it's terribly sad that, for whatever reason, the twins were seperated but (at the risk of getting my head bitten off here), have you checked for a death for the twin shortly after the birth? That may be a reason why they were seperated for the adoption. Possibly the other twin didn't survive past infancy. Getting the twin's birth certificate would help you as it should say Adopted across the bottom if that was the case Lou

Hi Maureen, my mother was born in 1922 and adopted in 1926. Next to her birth entry were the words' seeD26' I asked on this site and was told to look at DEC 1926 lo and behold there she was, so note down anything written next to birth entry and put it on this thread i can guarentee someone will be able to help best wishes MOE!...(formally Known as maureen foy) PS JESS WE NEED A NEW THREAD THIS IS ALMOST FULL AND MY FAVOURITE OF THEM ALL