Genealogy Chat

Okay folks. Spoke to my Registrar friend about this today. He cannot imagine where I got this information from (and neither can I, now, I have been racking my brains all day, seem to think it was on the telly, but who knows? It made an impression though at the time) The only time a Registrar would check the parentage of an adopted person is at their express request when they are applying to marry. No routine checks are done. As he said, registration is a record that a marriage took place. If, by some means, a couple later found out that they were related, because of separation at birth for instance then the marriage would be technically invalid. But, as he also said, they don't exactly go around searching for these cases. And, finally, you do have to sign a declaration to say that you know of no cause, etc. - everyone does, adopted or not. Sorry to have misled you, but I shall now go mad trying to remember when/where I heard this info. Marjorie

Not mis-lead , just gave one or two of us food for thought maybe. no problem at all, Thanks for getting back to us. I did wonder how.. ~Jess~

Thank goodness for that! Do you think your Registrar friend could investigate whether any of my birth family have left lots of money that I don't know about! Lou

So, someone else has found their father, Good on Sandra. actaully this is my excuse to bump this back to the front, where Joan can find it! ~Jess~

Hi there. Have been helping elderly lady born 1927 who was adopted. Found she had a twin sister. Know her birth name that is all and various other info on birth mother. Even at 77 years old the Social Worker she has had to visit has not been able to get the Westminster Courts to open the complete file on her adoption. She desperately wants to know if her sister was adopted and her adopted name. She may well still be alive and my friend would obviously love to see her before it's too late. I thought we had 'a Right to Information' act now in force but apparently the 'Data Protection Act' is also in force and this can stop the info being given. Help please anyone - how can we get round this situation before it's too late. Mopenn

have they given your friend a reason why they can't supply her with the info from the file - although she will be extremely lucky if it contains anything about a sibling,although given that it was a twin it might. ~Jess~

bumped for Gordon ~Jess~

Hi All I haven't posted for a while cos I've been chilling, getting my head round everything (oh, and chewing Jess's ear on the phone for over an hour....thanks for that, hon!). Well after a couple of very long phone calls and several text messages, I met up with BM for lunch yesterday. It was both amazing and surreal cos although we met in quite a busy crowded cafe bar, neither needed to wonder who we were looking for. We are so alike we recognised each other instantly. Same eye colour, same facial structure, same height, same build and same curls (which I've always hated!). Apparantly I'm also the image of my younger brother but in her nerves, she had forgotton to bring any photos to show me! We spent over 4hrs just talking, chatting and laughing and I only had to leave then cos I had to go and collect the children from nursery before 6pm. I wont go over the entire 4hr conversation but I will post this little bit cos I remembered last night that I'd forgotton to tell you this bit, Jess. We went back over the reasons for my adoption and she told me her feelings towards her mother afterwards, how she was seperated from my older brother (who was only 13 months old at the time) for the last 4 months of her pregnancy cos she was shipped off to stay with an aunt so the neighbours wouldn't talk. The aunt was 'wicked' (her words) to her, making her scrub floors and clean windows etc and if she didn't feel up to it or the aunt didn't consider the job had been done properly, she refused her meals. And how hard it was once she was back home after having had me cos not only was she dealing with the pain of having given me up, but my brother had no idea who his Mummy was by that point and her mother used it as blackmail. Anyway, we're going to talk in the next few days and then she's off on holiday for 2 weeks. Once she gets back, hubbie and I are going to go over to see her at her place and take the children but in the meantime I've promised to post her some photos and she's going to send me some of her late husband and of my brothers. Despite yesterday going so well, I'm trying hard not to get too over excited at the moment cos from reading other people's experiences, I know how easy it is to get off to a flying start and then it dwindle into nothing and then all contact ceases, but we had a lovely afternoon and it was wonderful to finally meet her and give her a hug and know that some of my quirky traits (like my obsession with cleaning and decorating!) come from her! Lou

It was pleasure. I was so pleased for you, and so relieved it all went well.Was really flattered to think that I mattered enough for you to want to talk to me about it. I am glad you are so realistic in your approach, and attitude.So many get so 'high' on what they have found it's a hell of a long way to fall if it doesn't work out. Bet you all slept a lot better last night, what with teeth , tantrums and nerves the night before... What next? :-) Jess x

Hi Lou, I am so happy for you that you have now had the chance to speak to your b/m face to face. I think it is a totally different experience than just being on the phone or email. I really do hope that this is just the start of a wonderful relationship together. How is your husband taking the news? It can be a little strange for a partner to at first get to grips with everything but things do start to settle after the first four weeks. I wish you all the best Lou to you and your family love Jules x I have been reunited with b/m's side of the family for 11 weeks now and things are going well. We are still learning about each other every time we see each other. There is plenty to talk about including the skeletons in all our closets! No family would be complete without those!! Dad's side of the family has more than it's fair share of those. Many of which I yet have to hear. My little brother has been in touch with Grandad recently and has accepted his older sister well. I must admit that I was a little worried not for myself but more for the memory of his father. He is going to stay with Grandad for a few days at the beginning of May along with his girlfriend. I only hope I can get to meet him. It is a weird thing looking at the photos of him and seeing a part of me looking back. It's extraordinary. I am going to have to ask Grandad to teach me a little something to say to Andrew in Dutch if I get the chance to meet him! Unfortunately languages are not my best forte unlike my Dad and Grandad who can speak 3/4 not including english! Hope everyone is ok. Take care Love Jules x

Hi All I am just wondering...has anyone used the site Myfolks??? I was not adopted, but I am searching for my natural father. Kimberley put me on to the my folks site...and I posted a message and sent some info to the two ladies mentioned. Do they acknowledge your request....I only did it 5 days ago...and I know searching doesn't happen overnight....it's taken me ten years to get the info I have got...lol....but...I was wondering whether they had received the info and whether they would consider helping??? Suzanne***

Jess You're my cyber sister, babe, you've held my hand thru all this and you were actually the first person I rang when we got home! Jules Hubbie is totally cool about it, in fact he chatted to D has much as I did yesterday and she asked him all about his family and what he did job-wise. Then he sat sorting out her mobile phone cos she couldn't turn the predictive text back on! I've been upstairs this morning and sorted out some pics of the kids to send her as promised, she's said she'll ring me sometime over the weekend for a chat and then we'll arrange to get together when she gets back from her holiday to Spain! Lou

Suzanne, Joan at my folks usually gets in touch as soon as she can. It could just be that she is up to her arms in a search at the moment. you could always just drop her an email on here. Just scroll down the messages until you come accross Joan Allen's name, then click on her name and type away. Hope this helps Jules Lou, Glad all is going well for you. Jules xx

Thanks Jules & Sheila I have already sent two e-mails...the original and an update. I don't want to harass her....... I'm just not sure whether she can do anything with the info I have. Thankyou for your reply... Sorry Joan...I'll be more patient! Suzanne***

nudge

Hi all I havent used this thread for a while, been busy trying to find maddening elusive relatives, I have found details of a cousin and have wriiten to her hoping she could lead me to my birth mother and Brother, no reply Yet. I am really pleased to hear all your success stories about contacting relies, gives me hope and inspiration to carry on. I have also been in email contact with my half sister who has sent me pictures of my birth Dad !! (he died 1977) Many thanks to everone who was kind enough to email me vith various bits of info a little while ago. Raining again in lovely Dorset !! JuliaX

Nudge up for Rebecca. Julia, Any look on the Gosport adress or David Martins yet? will keep my fingers crossed for you. Take care everyone Sheila

no luck yet, i have written to every David Martin and Jaqueline Humphrey(cousin) in hampshire. But it was only 2 weeks ago so heres hoping. Julia X

Hi Again, Was actually just doing a search for Jacqueline now as I have the new info2004 disk, do you know is she or david had a middle name, this would help a lot, can you double check the marriage and let me know. Also there is just the 1 Jacqueline down for Hampshire now, Kings Road and she is with a Wayne Humphreys,(could be her son I guess) dont know if the other Jacqueline has moved or opted of the elecotral roll. Let me know if you have anything else. Sheila

hi Sheila just checked marriage it is on 1837 July Aug Sept 1979. S .E Hants (20 2102) Dont know Jaqueline middle name but middle initals are S.M or could be S. H hard to see. David middle inital was J They had a daughter Emma Louise Jan, feb march 1980 Couldnt find any more births. I dont think name is Humphreys can only find Humphrey! thanks Julia X