Genealogy Chat

Hi Lou and everyone. Just got round to reading your thread and couldn't agree more whith the sentiments. I have made many contacts on this site, and in most cases, we have gratefully exchanged our information, and hopefully grown our trees as a result. There are a few people, however, who are very self centred, one minute all over you if they think that you have some information they want, the next, rude and offhand, and then refusing to even get back in touch with you. I made contact with someone a few weeks ago who was researching one of my mums grandmother's names. She came all over gushing until I politely asked a few questions about the brick wall I was trying to demolish. At this point she became almost abusive, accusing me of trying to make assumptions withouit having any facts - all I was doing was trying to get to the bottom of things. Funilly enough it was a request I made for some census information on this very board that cracked it. Three years of head scratching over in a flash. I was eternally grateful to the guy who looked up the information for me - so in the end I did without her and as far as I am concerned she is history. I do find it very frustrating having spent quite bit of time looking thing up for someone, they post the same request the next day. It is almost that they do't believe the information you have found. Do they really think that it will change if someone else looks up the same thing? Then there are those where you feel as though you are flogging the proverbial. It does not seem to matter what you say, they just can't grasp it. Anyway, nuf said for now...take care Peter

I no longer have a 'tree' on Genes. I have my direct line ancestors on here and anyone with a connection will have enough information with those names to know there is a connection. I have no problem with sharing. Its the rude minority who think because they have a SMITH in their tree too they can bombard you with emails demanding to view your tree. I was constantly being asked about a name who had come into my tree because he or she married my 3xgrandfather's brother's son or something equally as distant. And then when you reply politely with the fact you have no information on that person, you get the 'Well they're in YOUR tree' response back! The problem with this site is you cannot choose what info to share. Its the whole tree or nothing and there have been too many instances recently of someone allowing access to a tree, only to find all the information (sometimes including living rellies) posted elsewhere on the internet. Lou

Hi Jacqui, I do share with anyone connected to my tree but in a much easier way to follow than the format on here. Gwynne

Hi Jacqui, A lot of us don't keep a full tree on here. I only have a few generations of direct ancestors because the layout on the site is dreadful and takes hours to trawl around. Other people have different reasons Most of us have our trees in programmes like Family tree maker which can be used to pass on infromation. Gwynne

Hi everyone and I have to agree with lots of what's been said on this thread. I've only been doing my tree for 5 months so am still new to this compared to lots of you. I've had great help from lots of the people on here and try to return favours as much as I can. I also try to look out for newbies who need somewhere to ask questions without being made to feel stupid for being new to what can be a very challenging hobby. However, I agree that a few people take advantage or are just plain rude. If I see this happening I avoid their threads. I'd rather spend time helping those who appreciate the effort. Anyway, that's my moan over - it's Saturday night and I'm off to be happy! Louise

Very true! Its us lot sat here paying for the privilege of using the site that do the work, although I'm sure that some of the newcomers think we're paid by GR and are here purely to do it for them Lou

Lou And why should GR care. They dont answer all the questions do they? Margaret

LOL Jenny I think a few people have a blacklist now due to many of the reasons that have been stated on this thread! Gwynne is absolutely right in that newbies don't read the Getting Started Section before they begin and try to run before they can walk. A lot of that is down to GR....how many times have we asked them to put the Getting Started section somewhere more visible? They've just redesigned the site and that hasn't been touched! Lou

Hi, I keep clicking on reply to this message. Then I start typing and end up with an essay, so decide not to post. I agree with what others are saying. Genealogy isn't an easy or a cheap hobby and is impossible to do properly just by sitting in front of a computer. There is more and more coming online but you still need to visit record offices to look at original records or view them on film at an LDS centre. If you can't afford 1837online or familyrelatives.org you can search the GRO index in many other places on film or fiche. If you want someone else to do all the work for you - pay a researcher. I have been doing fewer and fewer look ups on my CDs that I have at home and on ancestry because of the attitude of some people who seem to demand, rather than ask for help. Then give no thanks when it is given. I used to do look ups on 1837 (using my own money) but don't any more - unless it's someone I recognise. There are some wonderful people on this site who do look ups for others which take time and effort (many on this thread). And get hardly any thanks - or get a casual, 'oh I didn't mean that one'. Those still doing it have more patience than I have. There are some excellent articles in the getting started section that some people don't even read before posting requests for help. I am still on a few look up exchanges where those asking for help are more specific about what they want so I don't feel I've wasted my time looking. The sad thing is that most people on here are lovely but the inconsiderate few are putting people off. I'll finish now before this turns into even more of an essay. Gwynne

Very well put Lou et al. I have only helped a handful of people but already have a 'blacklisted' person who I won't be helping again. Some people give no thanks, just gimme gimme gimme. I've often seen comments about info from look ups being wrong, but no thanks for the person who has trawled through info, spent their own credits and come up with the best match possible on the information given. GRRRRRR exactly! I've seen the comment posted on the records board thread and agree wholeheartedly. Perhaps more of us should be this direct. It may be the only way to get through some very insensitive skins!! Thanks to all the friendly, polite people on here. Happy hunting! Jenny

Heather I have come across this many times. The lazy lot who have no intention of spending any money at all. Their trees will be mostly made up as they dont confirm as they go. After all that means spending money. I put earlier that my cousin has been asking my advise. The first things I have told him is it takes a long time and it costs money. While there are people willing to spend their own credits, I don't mean a couple of credits, there will always be those who take advantage of that. The trouble is, those of us who point out these things always seem to be made into the big bad ogre. Another thing I am keen to do is, instead of doing the look ups for newbies, tell them how to do this themselves. The trouble is, others jump in with the info without telling how to do it next time. Then its a vicious circle. Margaret

You scream away! Its those kind of people who spoil this site. The 'I can't be bothered' brigade, who ignore advice given to them, hoping that if they plead and whine and nudge it up enough, someone will do it for them anyway just to shut them up. And there's always a few people willing to do it so they get their own way in the end and haven't had to spend a penny or put any effort it. As Margaret says GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Lou

By a mad coincidence I just found someone pleading for info which I gave them fully having spent a whole afternoon on it back in January. Obviously hasnt bothered to get a certificate in those two months, just asking again for details. I could scream.

No, I agree...do not delete...I actually put a message on another thread on here this afternoon and the person in question has still not answered...so that others are still looking for info for her...why doesn't she get off her backside and have some decency to at least say thankyou. Thats my moan over with lol Anne

Hi Brenda Definitely do not delete, I am gobsmacked anyone could be so rude but we do seem to be getting the odd one or two lately. Everything has arrived safe but I have only glanced at them so far. I can't quite make out the trade given, did you get any idea? Thank you again Vivienne

Its still there Lou Will message with the name Margaret

Think they must have deleted the thread cos I was going to find it and join in. Can't see it! Ah...found it! Think you two have covered it beautifully, nothing more to say really!

Thank you for the solidarity, Margaret!

Brenda I've just seen your comment, I had to smile. I have added to it. People with that attitude make me so mad. They havent got time, but all of us sad people on here have???? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Margaret

No, don't delete your comment please. Why on earth do people ask questions if they dont want to hear all the possible answers? Don't hide, we're not. LOL Margaret