Genealogy Chat

had great times jess with my brothers but the bad times do seem to over take the good times we come from totally different worlds we realy do i will never forget the first year and the time i first met them all it was amazing and i was blessed to have been able to meet them it is time to move on jess.they know were i live and how to contact me if they need to.im just going to enjoy xmas with my little family that i am also blessed with hugs angie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Angela. Its hard when i happens like that - at least you found them, many dont do that even. move on for now- nothing to say you cant contact them again in the future.

hi jess well my reunited story still isnt going to well not heard off my brother since august my little brother still has no contact with me and my sister nor his mother and hasnt been out of his bedroom for 2 months.hes finding life hard to cope with since me and my sister got our files he hasnt actually read them but my big brother went round to his house and told him it was realy bad what was in the files and my little brother just didnt want to know middle brother well he was the sort of half descent brother till his girlfriend had a go at me for doing my birth family tree and we havnt spoken for months but my brother was ok with it all.now iv just found out shes 5months pregnant and no one told me.my sister knew verually straight away and told her not to tell me as they wanted to tell me themselves but why wait 5months so not such happy times as id had hoped.i just leave them to it know.they have never shown me respect they just do my head in all the time.so i think its time to let go and move on angie xxxxxxx

Hey - its ages since this thread has been anywhere near the front- Lets ressurect it for christmas! Had my birth sister here on sunday for lunch and Tea + my adoptive Mum dad and brother and all their offspring - it was great! Mum and dad are fantastic about it - they have no problem with it at all...and in fact it was quite funny to hear Ruth say ''hey Dad, Pass the sprouts..'' She is estranged , pretty well from her adoptive father (and her mother is dead) so she has kind of 'adopted' mine.... I guess I am really lucky - actually i know i am! We have been a bit naughty and writtten B/m a christmas card, telling her of the wonderful time we had when we spent a week together on the coast in the summer....she denied to Ruth that she ever had me some years ago (Ruth being the elder of the to of us) so we dont exactly rub her nose in the fact that we know she told us porkies but..... Anyone else seeing their birth sibs over christmas? Jess x

Just wasnted to say these threads r really good, as an adopted person looking for a bith family it helps knowing that there are people out there that try and help without wanting to make a profit from it. I am still looking for my birth family and not getting very far but its nice to know that people whom i have never met want to help. A big thank you to all u caring people. xxxxxx

Jd, adoptees often seem to feel guilty about 'doing' or 'not doing' things- the point is, you did your searching when the time was right for you, if it was right to have done it earlier then I'm sure you would have done so, something obviously stopped you when you were 16 and maybe that was for the best- something you'll never know. jess xx

Today is my B/F's birthday. He would have been 50 today. Feeling very down. Also feeling guilty that I should have come looking for him and my Mum at 16 like I planned. Even though Mum had already died eight earlier I still would have been able to to have a proper relationship with Dad. Both families have been wonderful to me and welcomed me without question but it's just not quite the same without them. I love my birth families unreservedly but I just wish Mum and Dad were here too. Jd

Hi Dorothy, Finding your B/F may be difficult but not necessarily impossible. I too never thought that I would find my father but I did. I did however have his first name, age and job descriptions in my file which gave me a start. It wasn't easy to find him but I did and I'm glad I did it. Even if things hadn't have worked out good, at least I could say I tried my hardest. Wishing you the best Jd

hello everyone it is a year since i recieved all the documents re my adoption now 63 yrs ago, may of you have been kind enough to help me over the past year. I have a nagging question no father is listed and most of the people involved are dead, is there any chance of finding a birth father or am I answering my own question and there is no chance, i am usually very leval headed but not being aware is bothering me, also as many of you are aware i have contact with my half brother in scotland and met his daughter this year, but still no photo of my birth mother no one seems to have one another strange thing, perhaps it is just the time of year and memories raising there head and this site of jess's is so great regards dorothy canada

nudge for Jess

hello every 1 thanks for that info jess,i remember it been advertised in the t.v guide iv been contacted this week by my birth dads cousin which was nice as its usually me find people im hoping to finally meet my birth aunties in feb,we have been incontact for nearly a year now and its just lovely to have birth family members who want to keep intouch well hope every thing going ok for every 1 keep us up to date with your progress lots of hugs angie xxxx

Prog on TV tonight about adoption - ITV 9pm - hopefully NOT regional!

Hi Jess, 'Happy Birthday' to you, :O) Sorry that you seem a bit down today, but you know from every negative thing in life comes something posative, like you say this may have been a sad day for your BM, but for your adoptive family it was a wonderful day! and you should never underestimate your true worth in life, just ask your family and friends around you. For most of us we may have a feelings of rejection by our original family, but we only have to look to the family who took us to their hearts and called us theirs to realise love is not always dictated by blood relations, they are ultimatly our parents, no matter what our birth certificates say. Hope you have a wonderful day! Take Care. Sheila ps. Rainy Girl take a little time to adjust to the situation and think things over, if you still decide to trace your birth father and Alter is busy or needs help, let me know as I can do look ups on the elctoral roll to help. Hope everyone else is well, look after yourselves.

I wonder if my birth mother thinks of me today - i doubt it, any more than she thinks of me any other day. The day when her worst nightmare came into being - when she was delivered of the daughter she didnt want. I'd love to know if i was on this planet X years ago at this time of day - its one of the things that wasn't recorded on my file that i would like to know. Thank you for Giving me the gift of life B/M, and for giving mum and dad the gift of your flesh and blood. jess x

hi jess i will tread very carefully indeed i shant go charging with both feet although that is what i would love to do, i am taking on board all your advice, i know that my birthmum dosent want contact as she has been traced and in a letter she says that she has no wish to be reaquainted with me, that i will respect as i have no wish to cause anyone any heartache or upset. love lorraine

Rainey - please take some times to think about things. how do you know your birth mother wants no contact? These further siblings - do they know about you? Is it wise to go charging around to find other relations of your mother who, again, may not even know you exist? Okay, were are talkng adults here but even so , please tread very gently and see what you can find out before you clatter in there. Finding them can be the easy bit - its the rejection that comes hard Jess x

hi jess hi lou yes i have done a lot of thiking over the 48hrs been waking me at night, thinking of what ifs so to speak, i would like to trace my birth father and possibly any siblings that i may have even though my birth mum dosent want to know, maybe just maybe an aunt or uncle may want to know or brothers or sisters may want to know thank you so much for all your suport it really does mean a lot to me with love lorraine xx

Jess, just giving this a nudge for someone Gloria x

Hi Sue No problem...I shall point him in the direction of the thread and ask him to contact you Lou

Hi Lou, Do you think you could put me in touch with this man too? I've been thinking of trying to trace my birth father, and maybe this man could help me? S xx