Genealogy Chat

hi everyone, Had a nightmare of a weekend,been speaking to my new found brother for the past week via texts until things went a bit pear-shaped,his girl friend has got it into her head that I am his 'bit on the side'!!!!. He has shown her the two letters and all the photos i've sent him and she is still not convinced,I have no idea what else i can do,I have stopped texting and only reply to him when he texts me which seems to be when he is at work. Part of me thinks I shouldn't have bothered to look for him and part of me says hang on in there she may come round and let him be a part of my life. just really confused and feel helpless as he lives so far away! sue

Not convinced that it means he was adopted, in my opinion. An ORIGINAL birth cert (pre adoption) has the words adopted on it, usually and the subsequent birth cert, with the new name has no ref to adoption on it at all. The number on an original birth cert will not in anyway cross reference with a second birth cert(post adoption one)

back to the top, you are needed! Jess Angela- is that bith siblings you haven't 'heard from in over a week'- Blimey, do you expect that much contact?seems a lot to me jess

nudged - is the thread no longer going?? Hope it is! Its great to have somewhere to post and to read the experiences of others. Liz

Nudged for Ann Morgan

Patricia- more than fingers, toes and everything! Lucky girl and lovely Mum! jess x

Hello All, I eventualy plucked up the nerve to ring my daughters uncle yesterday only to find that they had gone out. I left a message on the answer machine, I left my number and got a call back at about 10 o clock last night. He was very chatty and said he would ask if her dad wanted to see her or if not could she have a photo of him. He said he will call back and let me know what he decides, so fingers crossed. Good luck to all of you looking for your birth parents. If you belonged to me I would welcome you with open arms. Don't give up trying. Hugs to all that need them. Pat

liz thats fabulous. think that sums up well how things are getting at me, right now!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr if anyone hears of a crazy women on a roof with an ak47 shooting at worcester ss in the next couple of weeks chances are its me lol, I NEED A HOLIDAY !!!!!

Patricia..... So did you call>???! Let us know! And how many cigs was it by the end?!! 'Give me hope' - Hola! Thats about the sum total of my Spanish so that call must have been a nightmare. Don't stop ranting - this board (and this set of messages) is a great place for it. Jess / Kelly - a poem for you - hope you like it. I wrote it just as I left my last job (well, certainly wasn't intending to do any work on my last couple of days!!) STRESS HEAD Stress doesn't exist Or so they say Figment of an imagination Can soon go away Ignore the pounding heart The urge to flight The fact you can't eat The chest thats gone tight The nightmares that continue And carry on the next morn Senses that are heightened The nerves that are torn Reasons for stress - Where do I start? Is it work friends or money? Or affairs of the heart? Being stuck in traffic? At the end of a long queue? A computer that won't work? To name but a few. So what is the answer When stress begins to hit You must write a letter With the words 'I quit!' Bit of a long message - but hope it made you smile :-) Hang on in there everyone out there! Liz

hi jess hope the pills kick in and your feeling better soon hun, hugs! well youve got stress and your lactic acid, i got stress and my uric acid, better known as gout in my left knee. if i could find my sister id sue her for it, its caused by stress eating junk and inactivity. im stressed permanently, am a chronic insomniac, i cant be bothered with mundane things like cooking and my inactivity is caused by sitting at the computer as many hours a day as i can manage. dont think the weathers helping either! think i could sue worcester ss for gout, pain, discomfort, stress and emotional damage????? answers on a postcard! love to all,, kel

Going to add on here, talk to you my good friends cos i'm feeling really low, although it has nowt to do with adoption! i've had a bad reaction to a couple of insect bites, and not for the first time. been to Dr, (left wrist swollen to nearly 8 inches in diameter) Got antibiotics and stronger prescription anti-histamines .Hurting doesn't describe the pain! now the bit that has upset me. I asked why i react so badly- STRESS apparently.Makes the lactic acid in your muscles more mobile and thus infection whizzes about. fair enough. Remove the stress from your life- right , ok, dis-own mother with Altzheimers or what? Very perceptive insects in my garden then!!How do they know? jess

Hi everyone Well i'm totally shakeing!... after years of tracing for hubby's B/F we have located him thanks to a kind person on here. She translated a letter for me and sent it from the same country (spain). Well he phoned today.... guess what his english was so poor and my spanish zilch. God knows why i put the phone number! Nearly 7 minutes lol trying to guess what he was saying, eventually i got 12 oclock tommorrow. Whether he is going to phone back or whether i am to phone him i dont know. AAARRRGGGHHHH. Ive been trying all morning to email my friend but she is busy at work. Sorry to rant just had to tell somebody. xxx

Hi All, I have heard from my daughters BF's brother, he has sent a telephone number through his daughter and asked if I will ring him. I know this it silly but I am sooooo nervous about ringing, I have smoked 20 cigs this morning trying to pluck up the courage to ring. ( its a good job I don't drink ) My daughter will have expected me to have rung by the time she gets home from work, so I had better get my act together. Thankyou to Shelia for the information this morning, and I will let you all know when I have plucked up the courage to ring. Good luck to all of you. Pat

hey you guys all tryed the new connections it has a geneology section and lots of postings on it seem to be adoption or adoptee related, or just from folks who have lost touch, back to my pit too hound the ss i go

Hi Jude, Jess, Kelly and everyone else, Sounds like we are all going through an emotive time at the moment. I have had to stay away from the boards for a few days so I could get my head together, but I hope everyone gets the pieces of paper and contact they were hoping for. I am sure if people were able to put themselves in the shoes of an adoptee, they would get a shock at the variety of emotions both good and bad that we go through. In my situation, I rang my birth aunty tonight. Where birth mum died so many years ago, she said she hadn't thought about her for years until my letter arrived, and has lost touch with siblings etc, and couldn't really tell me anything about her (even hobbies or interests). However the phones seem like they have been red hot!! I think my letter has re-united family ties as they all can't believe bm had a child!!!! Not much info was forthcoming other than 'lovely person..'. However invitations to stay in contact, and stay there if I ever visit the area. Lots of cousins to meet etc. I think I left the call feeling despondant at not hearing all about the bm (the good as well as the bad), but then I think I only wanted to hear what I had always predicted. I actually got given a lot of information about extended family. So much to think about.. I need time to assimilate the info into what I know. Some of it doesn't fit at all. Anyway, hope all of you guys are doing OK. BT are making a fortune out of that letter I sent!! Liz

Jess I agree with Sheila, I have been thinking about your situation you have waited a long few months! A light, friendly letter (no pressure!) giving your details again, he might have lost your address. Like everyone has said men don't do emotion chatty bits his wife maybe your best link until the idea grows on him more! I have a half brother who I don't think knows anything about me, so I might be in your situation one day?! Please let me know when the next lot of patience appears on E-bay I need some too!!

Hi Kelly, Sorry think e-bay has run out of patience, think the rest of us bought it before you ;O) reckon now the judge has been in touch with SS, they will bend over backwards to accomodate you, shame the courts never released the papers to you direct like they did in my case would have saved you a lot of time, still looks like you will get a result soon, Good Luck! Jess Think in view of your circumstances I would write a letter you have spoken to your sister-in-law and she said that she would get your brother to make contact, but as he has not done this yet, he maybe he is not interested (sorry if that sounds a bit brutal, but I know you tell it as it is, and want to hear the truth back) now if you phone again ,then it may make it awkward for sister in law, as although you say she sounds nice she would be stuck in the middle. What about a nice chatty letter tell how how much you enjoyed talking to her, and asking how brother and her are doing, it may prick a little bit at his conscience or curiosity and he may reply, or at least she may write back and say what has happened, but at least you will know where you stand, will keep my fingers crossed that you hear back from him. Jude, Will e-mail you direct after this. Good Luck all! Sheila

Hints please folks. My search for BM has took a quick turn and i have a match that looks very very promising. However i am not sure how to approach this. i mean how do you go about finding out if it is them. her phone no is ex directory so a letter is the only option. I need to eliminate her from list but don't know how to go about it? Any ideas folks? Jude x

kel well things are picking up for you at last,but if you dont hear anything id hound them so they dont forget who you are best of luck hun xx jess i think i would send letter with my details on it and they know then that they can contact you anytime my brothers other halfs are always keeping in touch which annoys me sometimes cus i would like chat to my brothers sometimes as it had been 35yrs we have been apart and if there are any disagrements its always the girls who talk on behalf of my brothers to good luck jess xx

Patience is a virtue... i dont possess..........think i could buy some on ebay????? they seem to do everything else!