Genealogy Chat

hello jess and every 1 im ok hope things have sorted themselves out for you jess not much news with me my family still keeping in touch for the moment i just take every day as it comes love to you all angie xxxxx

Bumped for Rosi Glow

hi gang, jess sorry to hear about your crazy in law problem, maybe you could send her off in a crate with my mother in law! (worth a try! it would save me getting her something she dont like for christmas too!). anyways i toddled off to worcester social services yesterday the women ive waited the last 3 and a half weeks to meet got called into a meeting and blew me out nice eh? and the summary of information they promised and what they had put me off for over 3 weeks to do still werent done either. too my complete horror though i actually have something nice to say about them for a change. i got a replacement social worker who had been thrown in at the deep end and didnt have much of a clue about my case but she did her best to answer all my questions and gave me the information i hoped for that might move me on a bit in the great sister hunt as it has now become commonly refered to in my house lol. so the plod continues though a bit more in the right direction,,, and if the evil ss think they have heard the last of me............hahahahahahahaha (thats my evil cackle)......dream on. good luck and best wishes to all. ill be back.....mwahahahahaa kel xxx

Dorothy It's really great to hear you've actually met your first birth family member and that you enjoyed her company. Hopefully, you'll meet your brother one day soon. Kelly I was wondering how you were going with your search for your sister and the dreaded SS, thanks for posting... love your evil cackle. I've given the aurthorities heaps over the years and it hasn't done me any good I'm afraid. Now when the new laws kick in in December I'm rather afraid they may want to get their own back... if they do I see them very unprofessional. My own search for my adopted brother is no nearer. I thought I had a possible lead from a very helpful GR member but his family member had a different date of birth. So like many other birth families I still live in hope we might meet one day before they shove me in the crate with Kelly's mother in law ;-)

hello everyone jess am so sorry to read of your problem some people hey, not nice at all. i havent been around for a while had my first meeting with my social worker and we filled out the forms needed for her to access my birth file that must have been about 6-8 weeks ago can anyone tell me how long it takes for my birth file to be released as i am getting a little impatient now. glad things are going nicely for everyone else. love rainey xx

hi again gang, so much going on so fast i dont know where to start, but in a nutshell........I FOUND HER!!!!! just goes to show what you can do with 40 straight hours on the computer and enough, correct information and a very large pot of coffee! its taken me just under 7 months from start to finish, and im still getting replies from social services to this first batch of harrassment letters i sent out in december. ive been very lucky, but also very persistant and pig headed. if i had taken heed of all the we have no records letters ive had, and the youle never find hers, i would never have got there. my sister is married alive well and has 2 children, but she personally had thrown in the towel 6 years ago and given up on the idea she would ever find my dad, but seems glad i found her despite the obvious shock! i spoke to her on the phone for about 5 hours, and left the ball in her court, i think its alot more emotionally stressfull for her, and ill abide by whatever she is ok with, im just glad she knows we are here, and if theres anything she would like to know, or any compacity she wants us in her life, is fine by us all. so maybe the evil ss has seen the last of me after all, but im sure they will miss my constant demands for info and updates! im half tempted to keep harrassing them for the hell of it, they dont know ive found her, and screaming and arguing with social workers is a passtime i admit im gonna miss. so to the social services depts of worcester, warwickshire, birmingham, gloucestershire, coventry, oxford, northampton, the london boroughs of barking & dagenham, barnet, berkshire, brent, bromley, bucks, camden, croyden,greenwich, harrow, havering, hillingdon, hounslow, islington, royal kingston, lambeth, lewisham, merton, newham, southwark, sutton, westminster, and the others 'GOODBYE!' its been an interesting ride amd ive met some great, helpfull, and wonderfull people along the way,they have given me support, ideas, and encouragement, for i know i would be in a nice padded cell mumbling to myself had i not met them. as always best wishes, lots of luck and love to you all, kel x

hi rainey girl my file took about 11 weeks i kept foning them so they wouldnt forget who i was they had to send birth file to wales as this is were i live now my file was in b,ham had lots and lots of info from it and read it quiet oftern as lots of stuff i didnt know.its realy like reading about some one else as i dont remember some of the stuff as i was very young at the time i do hope you get them soon it is agonising waiting and i feel for you just keep hasling them lots of love angie xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Rainey girl, it took 6 weeks for them to copy my file and maybe a couple of weeks where letters were posted and forms were sent,if you know where your file is maybe a phone call to them to see if the is a hold up on your file like I did.Luckily the lady I spoke to managed to find my file and put it on this mans desk ready to be sent out the following day. Fingers crossed it won't be long from sue

Hi to all I haven't been on here for a while I'm still at the early stage of my search can I ask you all seem to feel like me you love your adoptive parents unconditionally can anyone tell me how they feel towards their birth parents is there a great bond already there through blood tie or what . i understand everyone has a different story just curious

I have read this thread with interest, I am not adopted, but my friend is. She has applied for her file and has been told it will take 6-9 months for a social worker to be available for an interview before she can see her file. Is this normal, or does it vary from area to area? She was adopted in the late 70’s. Jo

hi jo i live in wales but my records were in b,ham.i suppose it depends on how busy the social workers are.mine took about 11 weeks which seemed like an eternity,6-8 months does seem like a long time in my 11 weeks i had seen a social worker twice and she was regulary on the fone,i just kept hassling them because they kept giving me a date and when that date arrived i still hadnt recieved any thing so i was onto the social workers straight away.i hope you friend gets her files soon i know what it was like for myself so understand what your friend is going through best wishes angie

hi lorna i havnt searcherd for my birth parents,but did find my 3 brothers and the bond was instant,i will never forget the day i first met them and even now the feelings are still with me,i love my brothers just as i loved my adopted parents.have found 3 birth aunties aswell thanks to this site i havnt met them yet but we allways in touch i dont know how id feel if i met my realy parents my story is a lot different to others on here best wishes angie

Hi everyone, just poped in to say hello again,taken ages reading what you have all been up to, i havent been on site for a few weeks. Things are still going well with my birth mum and brother (and extended family) i have just celebrated my 1st ! ! birthday with my birth mum on sat 30th . I stayed at her house on fri night, she wanted to see me first thing on my birthday. It was all very emotional, we couldnt sleep and mum was struggling with what might have been, and all the years and events of my life she has missed. She remembered giving birth to me as if it was only yesterday, and the pain of losing me.Those of you who have seen me on thread before will remember that i was born early, rushed into an incubator. mum was very ill and only got to hold me once, then her parents told her i had died. They signed all my adoption papers as she was a minor. I only traced her end of May this year so things are still strange. mum has nightmares that she will lose me again, i try to reasure her that i'm not going anywhere. This is very stressfull.! Help anyone who has found family does it get easier ? i need to take shares in tissues. Sorry to rattle on but needed to talk to people in same boat. love Julia x

Hi, what is your parents take on it all- You say she'll never loose you , but where does that leave you? To pron=mise that you'll 'never leave her' is a difficult one - i guess you need to know what she maens by that. What will happen say, Christmas, will she expect you to be with her> and how do you feel about that? It sounds as though potentially you could have a great relationship, more like sisters in age ifshe had you very young. jess x

hi julia things will get better for you its early days yet and very emotional for all concerded.it is realy hard to reasure your mum that you will always be there iv been in your mums possition and it is realy hard to accept that this new family will be there but in time she will know that you mean what you say.i found my 3 brothers and it was realy hard to accept that they were going to be there for always and even now i have days when i think have i run the relationship dry and then one or another gets in touch and im fine again good luck julia x

Hi Ang thanks for your words of support, it helps to hear someone else in similiar boat. Hi Jess Mum is 62 i am 44 so will be mother daughter relationship /friends,we have become really close, we are very alike, but at the moment she wants to see me all the time, but it is difficult as all the rest of new family want a peice of me as well, I want to see her on own as well. If i see one without the other they all get jealous (my full brother and half sis and brother i mean.)me and my bm need to spend quality time together on our own as lots to talk over but seems impossible . Im going to suggest a weekend away to sort things what do you think ? Julia x

hi julia my brothers partners were the same very jelous of me i wanted to spend time with my brothers on there own we had so many years to catch up on i think they saw me as a threat yes they were all delighted that we had found each other but it was very difficult and i think i tryed to hard to be accepted.i dont hear off one of my brothers to be honest i think his girlfriend gave him ultimatum me or her which is very sad.any way i did get to spend time with my brothers alone and i called it the bonding proggress and it cemented my relationship with them and there girlfriends are ok with me now i didnt find my brothers to take them away from any one and now they know that.i think it be good for you to spend time on your own with your mum you need that time together to realy get to know each other good luck julia xx

Well here I go starting out on what sounds to be a long journey Got my letter today saying my birth info sent to my local adoption centre and to ring for further info Of course the person I need to speak to not in the office today need to ring back tomorrow do these people work part time Reading some other posts on here I suppose I sound very impatient and will have to get used to this. Sounds like I have a lot of people pestering to do I getting nowhere on pc any help gratefully received Not very good at finding things on pc

Lorna ; of course they only work part time and the are ALWAYs off when you ring - If they work Tue Wed and Thur you can bet they'll have changed the pattern the week you ring! Try and think of it like this...You were born how many years ago? Have been without this info how many years?.... Its soon tommorow! If the right person isn't there tommorow, then demand to speak to the deputy.it would be unsual for them to discuss your file over the phone, you may need to make an appointment- ring them back and check that if you wait till tommorow that it isn't just to make the appointment - someone should be able to do that today for you. It is an exciting time, and prob a bit scary too - we're here.. jess x x

for Susan