Genealogy Chat

Hi all i havent been around for a while, have had time out to get used to my new found family, those who read my info on previous thread know that i finally found and met my birth mother and full brother just over a month ago. (my mother was told i died just after my birth, didnt know i was addpoted) all is going really well, i feel really close to them already, i now have two families, my Addoptive mum will always be my number one mum but i now have two mums, bit confusing. I have enjoyed reading and catching up with all your messages on this thread, good luck to thoses still searching Love Julia xX

hi julia im so pleased all is going well for you,its lovely when things work out i wish you all the luck for the future best wishes angie x

Hi Kelly That's wonderful news. I have read your posts on other forums so I'm familar with your family history. As your sister had already tried to make contact with her birth family... I see no reason why SS don't search for you on your behalf (just my thoughts) Good luck with everthing and keep us posted. Cheers Gerry

Just a quick ~hello~ evrything is positive for everyone it seems - brilliant Can you rub some of it off on my birth half brother please? If we all wish together will he ring me? Jess

Hello All, Yesterday I met my daughters uncle and aunt, they came to town to look for information for family tree. (so arranged a meet ) They brought with them photos of her Dad when he was a young and one of him taken 2 yrs ago. I gave them a photo of my daughter with her husband which they took away with them. My daughter is happy now just to have the photos, she has decided she doesn't want to meet him in person, as she would not know what to say to him. I'm pleased with that decision but I have not influenced her in anyway. I also found out information that I cannot put on here. So I would like to thank everyone who has helped in the search for her dad. And wish you all the luck in the world in your searches. Love and hugs to all. Pat

dear jess do hope you get fone call soon sending you lots of hugs cus i know what its like waiting love angie xx

Angie, I think i have come to term with the fact that it isn't going to happen..... I found him, with help from another member on here. i had contact with his mother who passed message on to the chaps wife . She rang me, and basically wanted me to to do some digging on his behalf, Digging that I have no way of doing. I think she had from me what they wanted that day...... Hard fact of life, but, hey,its him thats missing out cos I'm lovely...!! Jess x

hi jess you are lovely and so am i well so my friends keep telling me they say im to good to have family who dont bother with me lapping up the comments my friends are great i love them all angie xxxxx

hi every one hope you all ok sent birthday card to my brother he not spoken to me for 2 months but hey he still my brother and i feel better for sending him card also sent one of my birth aunties a letter,just put a bit about myself i have contact with her sisters and this auntie not on computer so she said she would love to have contact with me so sent her a letter,she has recieved it and she was over the moon,well looks like i lost three brothers but gained 3 aunties how mad is that life is strange sometimes lots of hugs angie xxxxx

hi just stoped by for a catch up! GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY! hugs and best wished for all! just 2 weeks to go till i have to drive to worcester ss and meet some of the faces ive been screaming at for months, though im trying not to and though it might not get me anywhere im getting excited already! kel

Nudged for Lynda Mattingly. Jools

Hi everyone Again sending massive luck and thoughts out to everyone who is searching! Have just received a photo from birth aunty of my bm who died years ago. It was strange to see what she looked like! Trying to see a resemblance but have never been any good at spotting who's who! Same colour hair?!! So much to think about STILL!! Liz

hi all hope you all well finally heard off my brothers sent one brother his birthday card and he texed me to say thank you we had not spoken for 2months a disagrement over the family tree but we ok now and hopefully wont fall out again 2days later my sister in law foned me and spoke to my big brother which was lovely finally sent my birth auntie a letter and she foned me last week shes lovely and at this moment in time im very happy best wishes angie xxxxx

Feeling very angry with my Brothers wife. All 3 of us were adopted from 3 different places. I have traced as far as I am able and am happy with 'where i am at'. MY little bro has no interest in where he came from at all, no desire to know his birth name even- am i am fine with that- its up to him completely. However His wife, who i have little time for anyway, has decided in her infinate wisdom, that it is time that my neice (8) and nephew (6) were told that the people they know as nanny and grandad, (and adore) are not their 'real' grandparents, nor am I their 'real' Auntie!! I am not sure what her motive is, and exactly what she will tell them, or even why? I don't understand her, and feel so very very hurt by this. Has anyone else ever come across this. Needless to say , she isn't an adoptee her self ...... jess x

Really sorry to read that Jess - it must have really hurt. Was she trying to explain about their Dad / your brother being adopted and thats how she went about it? Or is the youngest doing family trees etc as part of a school project? Several years ago, my nephew said to me (out of the blue) 'Is it true you are adopted?.' I remember feeling a bit struck dumb when he said it and quite sad in case he decided I wasn't a proper aunty. But then I remembered growing up always knowing that one of my great aunts was adopted, and a younger cousin was adopted and knowing that it didn't affect what I thought of them. Apart from coming from the angle of an adoptee (which I didn't really understand when I was 6/7), adoption has an exciting air of mystery about it particularly to kids. Not sure I am making sense with that last paragraph. My other thought as an adult adoptee is that people can know that I am adopted and still love me for who I am / my role in the family. And that if kids find out when they are kids, its just a normal part of the family tales. Incidentally, my nephew is now taller than me, taking his GCSEs and still laughs at my choice of favourite bands!!! Liz

Jess, that is terrible - my husband traced his birth mother a couple of years ago but his adopted parents were and will always be our daughter's 'real' grandparents.

I asked her 'why' - and she said they 'had a right to know'! Whilst I dont have a problem with them knowing, i do think they are too young -sometimes I dont understand the concept! At the age they are they need something tangiable to help them understand and for as long as she can't tell them who is/was/could have been their 'real Grandparent' i cannot see why she needs to blow apart their illusion. She says that if he wont find out, then she will! - At least I know that is beyond her capabilities because for as long as he doesn't know his birth name , how can she? Perhaps I am being over sensitive, I try to be the best Auntie I can be ( without going OTT) and love my neice and nephew to the end of the world...and back again Jess x

hi jess realy sorry to hear your having family trouble.my children have always known i was adopted and oftern ask about my realy parents iv just been very honest with them about the situation and they accept how i feel about it all i dont think your been over sentitive i think your sister in law should think about other peoples feelings before she starts telling people,just my point of view,its a very awkward sistuation and i hope it sorts it self out lots of hugs angie xxxx

Jess, sorry to hear about the insensitivity of your brothers wife! A few years ago the same thing happened to me but it was from my sister-in-law of my brother who is not adopted in my family ( two adopted then had two of their own!) I had to then explain to my youngest children (when I thought they were too young )the older children knew I chose the right time to explain to them. I thought my hand was forced as my nephew and neice might have told my little ones and they were about the same age! I know how angry confused and wonder of the motive, you are feeling! My sister in law said her reason was she did not keep secrets from her children and made me at the time feel I was wrong. But she could have waited until they were older as could yours have done. The only excuse I can give thoughtless people is that they have never been in this situation so can not know how deep and complex the feelings of aoptees are! You have my empathy, which your sister in law certainly doesn't have to give to you at this time! best wishes Ann

Kay has found us a site worth a mention. besides seemed like a good excuse to put this thread back to the front How is everyone? Jess x www(dot)adoptionmatch(dot)co(dot)uk ** I have signed up,(its free!) ...but can't actually get back in at the moment! lol