Genealogy Chat

Thank you for sharing! Lindy:)

LOL Kate - I've been with ntl for ages. so remember all their little hitches! Don't think I've had one as long as a week though......but I think sometimes the problems don't cover the whole country.... I am going to ask for a lookup on Record Office board re Leonard H Whelan. I am so nosy - hope I can find out more, as his name has hung, like a black cloud, over our family for all these decades - he deserves a look up!!! Thanks again Kate and thanks to all you lovely people who have added your stories to this thread - they all make really interesting reading............ Merry

Glad I could help. I was hoping it was him. From what I can remember of Scotland's People, they can search for his birth registration without paying, e.g. if they put in his name and try one year at a time or whatever time-span they want, they can see if there are any matches or not, but if there is a match or more than one and they want to look at the list of matches, it costs 1 credit, but then costs something like 5 credits to look at the actual certificate. Unfortunately once your credits have run out or expired you can't do the free searching any more (except for wills). As for ntl - a few months ago we couldn't get on the internet for about a week thanks to them, so think yourself lucky it was only one day! Kate.

Kate!!!!!!!!! (I have had no internet connection for 24 hours thanks to NTL!!) Oh wow!! It's ages since I have really looked for Harrison-Whelan and I don't think the medal cards were available then!! He was a Captain when he was involved with my gran, which fits with the info, and there is no obvious birth reg from 1866 onwards on Family Relatives - but he might have been Scottish!!!!!! Ah, but also I wonder if this is him (below)? From the medal card record he was in a Scottish regiment at a lower rank....... Casualty Details Name: WHELAN, LEONARD HARRISON Initials: L H Nationality: United Kingdom Rank: Private Regiment: Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders Unit Text: 11th Bn. Date of Death: 22/08/1917 Service No: S/19465 Additional information: (served as FRASER). Casualty Type: Commonwealth War Dead Grave/Memorial Reference: Panel 141 to 143 and 162. Cemetery: TYNE COT MEMORIAL So if this is him, he died in between the upset with my gran and the date she married my grandfather. Looks as if she liked to keep her options open as much as possible!! Love the bit that says he served under the surname Fraser when in the Scots regiment. Did he resign his commission and change regiments and name to escape his personal relationship? ''Oh what an evil web we weave, when we first practice to deceive!'' (just right for my gran - she spent her whole life weaving webs) I have just been reading the last letter from grans beau (Eales-White). He HAS FOUND OUT THAT SHE MAY NOT GO THROUGH WITH THE MARRIAGE TO CAPT HARRISON-WHELAN (a marriage that she had previously told him had already taken place!!!!!) Gran has the audacity to ask Eales-White to come and take her away from the house where she appears to be living as man and wife with her ''fiancee''. Eales-White says he cannot, because it is not his place to do so and also he is being posted back to France the next day. He tells her that if he gets through the war he will not return to being a London Solicitor, but will set up a poultry farm in the Scotish Highlands. The very idea of my gran anywhere near a farm would have filled her with horror - she wanted a glitzy life in London (maybe he knew that??). So I expect she would have lost interest in him rapidly after that. Unfortunately she didn't get the chance as he never returned...... Kate I'm sure you have found the right man. Does anyone know, if I ask for someone to look for a birth of Scotlands People or whatever, does it cost them anything?? Merry

Do you think this could be him? Description Medal card of Whelan, Leonard Harrison Corps Regiment No Rank Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders Lance Corporal East Lancashire Regiment Captain Date 1914-1920 Catalogue reference WO 372/21 Dept Records created or inherited by the War Office, Armed Forces, Judge Advocate General, and related bodies Series War Office: Service Medal and Award Rolls Index, First World War Piece Ward H - Wilson F Kate.

My mum gave me the letters her father wrotee to her mother as she thought it would intrude if she read them. Sadly, I don't have my grandmother's replies, so its a bit one-sided and rather sad too. My grandfather Angus lied about his age and joined the Royal Engineers in February 1914 (I don't think he thought there was going to be a war - he joined as a blacksmith as a way of getting away from an unhappy home and having a secure income). Summer 1918 he got a letter from my grandmother GLADYS. She was working as a made at The Priory, Roehampton, which was a private hospital - but not an addiction clinic! With her was another maid called Edith, but I don't know her 2nd name. Edith was either married to, or engaged to a chap called Frank, who got Gladys to write to Angus. Angus refers to Frank as his 'cousin' but I have yet to establish who he was - Angus' mother had two step-families and umpteen sisters who could have been Frank's mum. Anyway, Angus started with 'Dear Friend' and progressed to 'Dear Gladys', 'Dear Gladdie' and then 'My dearest sweetheart'. He was due to come home on leave and meet her, but she was ill with flu and his sister, who he was going to stay with, also had flu, so he returned to France without seeing either of them. He wrote a heartbreaking letter Christmas day 1918 saying he had spent his last 4 birthdays and Xmas in France and that they had for their Xmas dinner no meat and no fresh vegetables. God knows what they DID eat! End of the war, it took ages for Angus to be demobbed. He also felt Gladys' family - or at least her stepmother- was against their marriage. When he was released, he was called back again to serve during the general strike. Then he couldn't find work. Eventually they married in 1923 and my mum was born a year later. nell

It's true that if the letters are too close to you it would be difficult to read them...... I was talking to my mum about grans letters which she has read, but then the letters were not between her parents, but from the beau that was killed, so maybe that makes it easier. Mum said something about the letters she herself has kept - some from my father and some from a prior relationship..... My reaction was - there's no way I coud read letters from my dad to mum and even less if there are any around from her to him - NO WAY - I would feel very embarrassed - as if I was prying - but would probably read the ones from my mums earlier relationship, but again if she has any letters that she wrote to him - NOOOO - I couldn't!! When I was a child the bundle of letters belonging to my gran - now all from ''the beau'' was about twice as thick as it is now. For about 30 years gran would point out the package of letters to my mum and tell her ''there's grounds for me to divorce your father in those letters!!!''. When gran died the package had magically slimmed down!! From what I understand, granddad was a lovely man.....just that they were not suited to each other, so goodness knows what else was in the package in the past - we shall never know..... Anyway - so who was Mr Harrison-Whelan (first names and initials unknown)?????? I know he was a Captain in the army in WW1, but that's not much to go on!! Merry

Hello, Last Christmas I came across lots of letters written by my grandfather to my grandmother in a suitcase in the loft. They ranged in date from just after their marriage in 1932 to just before his death in the war in 1942. The last one being a poignant telegram wishing his family a Happy Christmas and hoping to see them in the new year. He was lost at sea in february 1942. I was really pleased to find these letters from a man that I never knew to my grandmother that I barely knew. It showed me how much they loved each other and filled in lots of information for me about their lives together. However, when I came bounding down the stairs to share what I'd found with my father, I soon realised from his sad face that he would never read these letters. I suspect it's the same for him as it is for you Olde Crone, too personal and too sad. He was only three when his father was killed. I've put the letters back where I found them and I read them again this summer in secret. They are lovely and very moving and a good reminder for me that all these 'dead' people that I'm busily trying to track down were 'real' people once. Helenxx

Oh, OC, that is SOOO sad (Kleenex break again) Also funny about the Pawnbroker's shopman/master jeweller!! My gran had her father down as ''gentleman'' on her marriage cert. In reality he was a librarian. She always told me he was the ''Chief Librarian''; in reality he worked alone!! Merry (Do cheer up...)

LOL!!! My GF poshed himself up for the wedding - his baptismal name was Herbert Holden. I had a hell of a job finding their marriage cos he married as H. Seymour Holden and she as Ethelia Rathbone Whittaker. (She was bap. Ethel Whittaker).Her father, according to the marriage cert, was a Master Jeweller - ha!ha! When I finally tracked him down on the 1881, he is described as a Pawnbroker's Shopman!!!! Best of all, the Rathbones were nothing to do with her family - the connection is on HIS side - sucking up to the new In-laws, perhaps? I have my parents love letters. I am not able to read them - it seems an almost indecent intrusion into their private lives. Perhaps my daughters will be able to read them one day, without feeling the same way I do. I also have a letter, written by a friend of my mother's, to my mother, when she gave birth to a stillborn child in 1953. It was the only letter she received, indeed, the only mention of the child I have ever seen or heard. It is stilted and formal, but obviously meant with kindness and exhorts my mother to 'think of the two little ones you already have, who need you so much. Try to stop weeping, my dear, it will make you weak and tired and less able to face the tasks ahead' This spoke reams to me - my mother was barely 24 when this, her third child, was stillborn. In the next bed to her, was her best friend who was giving birth to her sixth set of twins, only one child had ever survived. She died, over a period of days, in a Ward with over 100 women in it, with only my mother to comfort her. My mother never got over this, and to the end of her days, was very bitter about 'The Catholic Church'. Oh, seem to have gone off topic again, and making myself cry... Olde Crone

Lyla - Yes, the beau has a name - Harry Eales-White - his poor mother couldn't accept his death and entered notices in The Times asking if anyone knew if he was a prisioner?....after 1920 she gave up on that and there are In Memorium notices until 1940 - that's a long time....... Merry

Good heavens, Alter - That's quite spooky about the stone bridge..... Olde Crone - not at all sure that my gran felt guilty about her shenanigans (and she did live pretty unhappily-ever-after with completely the wrong man, too!)!! Not sure that she felt guilty about disowning her own mother either, but that's another story....... After the death of the beau she went on to marry my granddad, who never lived up to her expectations! On Armistice day each year she always mentioned that all the good men were killed (my granddad was severely wounded, so presume he was not as ''good'' as the other men)!! The really gutting part is that I would like to find out about the chap she DIDN'T marry (not the beau - I know about him and his family - the other one who she said she had married but hadn't) - I should think he was a real person, but I can't find any record that he existed, as I don't have much to go on........ But for those of you who like a challenge - The letters to my gran in her ''married'' name were addresses to: Mrs Harrison-Whelan, The Cherry Cottage, The Common, Midhurst, Sussex Sept 1915, but were re-directed to gran's family home in Twickenham...... Unfortunately ALL gran's male friends seem to have been double-barrelled - the beau had two surnames, but was born with only one, the other name adopted when it was fashionable to do so. She had her comeupance eventually, marrying Mr Clark in the end!! Merry

stay away from that bridge!! lol Claire

Well, you lucky, lucky people. My grandfather died at the very end of WW1. He and my grandmother had been married just under 3 years, during all of which time he was only home on short leaves (managed to produce my mother, thought). My grandmother kept all his letters. When she died, my mother found them all in the attic, tied up with ribbon. My mother told me that she sat down and read them all, and then regretted having done so. She burned them. She made me promise that when she died I would burn any letters to her from my father that I found, without reading them. She must have done it first, though, because I never found any. I don't think any of this was because there was anything shocking in any of the letters. I just think that she considered them too personal for anyone else to read. Such a shame, though. I know so little of my grandfather, all I have is photographs of a man in uniform (he was regular army). It would have been nice to have a sight of the person behind the pictures. Tina

My gt grandfather ,direct male line- wrote to his wife Beatrice,throgh the war-i have at least 20 letters all tied together. He was 40 when he was called up,a gentlemans outfitter for gods sake.He walked down the road,stopped at the little stone bridge by their home and looked back and waved. That was the last they saw of each other.He went to egypt,got killed there and is buried in Gaza.The letters are from the time he was in Egypt. He left 4 very young children behind,the oldest was my grandfather.To add a further twist,my grandfather at the age of 89 (outlived the rest of the family) fell over and bashed his head on the very same little stone bridge.He went to hospital,and died of internal head injuries the next day.

Oh Merry!!! Sob, sob! I sincerely hope she was REALLY sorry for her silly games. My grandparents were neighbours, went to the same Church etc. Before my GF left for the Front, he asked her FATHER (oh, how proper) if he might write to her? Permission was granted and they went on to correspond until my GF was captured in 1917. Believing him to be dead, she put on a great weeping and wailing act. But he wasnt dead, and when he returned, he was a bit surprised to discover that, in writing to her, both families had assumed that a marriage would take place, should he ever return. He did the gentlemanly thing and they lived unhappily ever after. Neither of THEM had ever intended for a marriage to take place, he merely wanted someone to write to, not having a sweetheart, and she saw it as part of the War Effort to write to a serving soldier. Olde Crone

Thank you all, that's very helpful!!! Juicy bits? Well, not exactly, but....... She met him at Christmas 1914, letters arrived about twice a week for around three or four months....mostly concerned with how he can get to ''the trysting place'' when this means getting leave from Barracks - on one occasion he walks 14 miles to the railway station and gets a train to London to see her for an hour (OK, so keener than I gave him credit for!!). She doesn't turn up - it's the neuralgia again!! By June 1915 he is asking if she is sure she knows what she is doing? and that she has completely misunderstood his meaning in the last letter (which is a missing letter, I think!! Grrrrr) All letters after this are posted from The Front Line in France. So, what has she been doing?? Pretending to marry someone else is the answer!! Beau's last three letters are addressed to her in a married name, but in reality she never married the other man. Beau says he is shocked that she has gone ahead, but (the gentleman he is) offers her his congratualtions and wishes her God's Blessing in her life etc Two days later (Sept 1915) he is killed....... THE KLEENEX PLEASE...... Merry

Hi Merry, my dad used to sign his letters to my mum like that and she told me it meant yours always!! Audrey

Oh, Merry, you snoop....it means 'Yours forever' in Scottish. Are there any juicy bits? Olde Crone

Her beau's letters don't seem all that keen to me lol.....What would ''Yours Aye'' mean exactly? He signs off this way on all the early letters..........am a bit fed up reading that she is obviously moaning about her neuralgia, whilst he is about to be killed in the trenches....... Anyway, what about this ''Yours Aye''?? (his parents were Scottish) - Happy Hunting - Merry