Genealogy Chat

Sorry about your mum. I lost my dear dad in October and I still cant believe he has gone. But I understand what you mean. When I found my deceased's mums ancestors and I could actually look at their headstones it gave me an almost sense of comfort. Knowing that these people (who I hadnt known existed) had been there all the time that 5 more generations had moved on. As you say, hard to explain, but a great comfort.

HI Angela, thought you might like this little poem explains what life's all about really, FAMILY. The roots are deep, the branches wide, the tree of life, a family`s pride. As descendants we are, so ancestors we shall be, generations of heritage, create our family tree. Happiness and sadness, for hundreds of years, A family is togetherness, for laughter and for tears, so gather up the pictures, and record the family lore, so those that follow after shall know the family before.. Chris from OOP NORTH NOW IN OZ.

Im so sorry you have lost your mum....Memories are forever she will always be with you. Be strong, God bless you and all your loved ones. I to have also read Julies poem...Its beautiful. Rosi

Angela please accept my sympathy on the loss of your mother I too lost my mother in june 2005 and exactly as you have expressed life goes on when I lost my father 7yrs ago I wanted to shout from the roof tops 'Please stop the world my father died today please everybody just stop doing every day things',and when mum passed away I was doing this family history and it does give you comfort to know that its really another part of life , I do hope you remember the lovely times with your Mum as I do with mine there was many ,but too few too as you would know God Bless and here's a hug (((((( angela))))) love and hugs Lara

I came back to this thread to see how Angela was doing and have jsut read the poem that Jule put on and I had tears streaming dwon my face - how lovely and comforting xxx

What a really lovely verse quoted by Julie for Angela`s loss I had tears in my eyes reading it, even although its almost 14 years ago since my dear husband died, I still feel his loss, and at times it feels just like yesterday. However, it is true that time does bring healing and the pain softens, you can then speak about your loved one and relive many happy memories of your shared time, and I`m sure Angela, that you will feel like this about your mother in time to come, the pain will not be so hard to bear, and you will always remember the happy times you had with her, and be sure that one day you WILL meet again. It will be possible eventually for you to think about your mother without feeling pain or sadness. God bless you and help you along the way until that day arrives.

hi so sorry to hear of your loss. I know it is a hard time for you. But believe me you learn to carry on. My dad died 18 years ago at 55. not a day passes when I don't think of him, but researching his family tree makes me feel close to him. I have even put flowers on his gggg grandparents grave. I know he would be proud as I am sure your mum was proud of you. Take care Claire x

Dear Angela, Sorry been away from computer. Now that would've been funny if my parents had bequeathed the bunions etc in their wills! That would make a good comedy sketch. I wish you all strength you and your family need for monday. x Jackie

Sorry to have been out of touch for a little while - Thank you all so much for your lovely messages and poems. My boys will be reading some poems at the funeral on Monday. I never expected to have such a huge response from people. You are all so very, very kind. I feel as if we are all not just members of GR, but friends.

Hi just been reading the thread and thought i would leave a message. I only started looking at my family tree as my father before he died two years ago wanted us to see if we could locate his family with whom he had lost contact with many years before. As my dad who died after a short illness due to terminal cancer passed away quickly it went out of my mind but i though at some point i would. Well i am glad to say i did and through doing it have found his longed for family in Scotland, Australia and America. It is a shame he didnt live to speak to them but his life to me goes on in them. Death is nothing at all I have slipped away into the next room I am i and you are you Whatever we were to each other we are still Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used to Put no difference in your tone, wear no false air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed together at little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me Let my name be the household word that it always was Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of shadow on it Life means all that it ever meant It is the same as it ever was, there is absolutely unbroken continuity What is death but a negligible accident Why should i be out of mind because i am out of sight I am waiting for an interval, somewhere very near, Just around the corner All is well Nothing is past, nothing is lost, One brief moment and all will be as it was before. He gave me this before he died. He told me to think about the words. Lynda

This is maybe slightly off the topic but I seem to find that I talk about ancestors that I discover as if they're still living, I always tend to mention them in the present tense! On another note, I lost my dad last year and it's only since his death that I've found out anything about his side of the family. It was actually a relative at the funeral that said he had loads. Maybe finding out where he 'came from' in terms of blood lines made it slightly easier to deal with him... going back there??! Jo

I think looking back at family history - (althought i havent lost either of my parents yet, i know the day is 'not too far') - i have looked and thought about where people lived and how they might have survived despite what life has thrown at them. You look and you see that perhaps your grandparents (or you parents even) lost children at a young age and I've certainly wondered how they 'coped'. I was fortunate to know 3 of my 4 grandparents, both of whom lost children in their infancy, which must have been very hard. My parents, of course, have lost both their parents and despite the saddness of the 'happening' have lived on through the experience and survived with dignity and courage. When i lost my brother , which broke all our hearts (it wasn't fair) and thought that my dad would never recover from the heartache- i'm sure it still hurts him BUT , he came through , as i am sure you will, in time, with memories that keep you going, stored both in your minds eye and your heart. Yes, seeing that it has all happened before and that people do survive despite the sadness does help. Take time to do what you need to do. Jess x

Julie, I'm sure this wonderful poem will help Angela. I know I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. It's beautiful. Kath. x

Sorry to hear of your loss Angela. I do agree about the continuity. It's as if we have been handed the baton to carry and pass on to the next generation. All those who have gone before are remembered as we find out more about them. Take care. Gwyn

Isn't inheritance a wonderful thing? I hope you weren't left all those things in their wills!!

Dear Angela, You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sorry about your Mum. You made me laugh when you talked about the eyesight. After our parents died we laughed at the fact that there was no money but I got the bad back one brother got the stomach problems and the other got the bunions! Take care Jackie

How lovely to have so many wonderful messages from other GR members and friends. Whilst sorting through my mum's papers over the last couple of days I have found some lovely old photographs from about 1910-1920 of my grandparents when they were young. I hadn't seen any of the photos before and found them so interesting. I showed them to one of my friends who said that my grandfather's eyes were exactly the same as mine (and it is probably him that I inherited my terrible eyesight from as throughout his life he was wearing little round glasses!!). Glad to know that something was passed on to me. Pity it couldn't be something more useful than long-sightedness!!!

Angela I totally agree and can understand where you are coming from. My Mum died suddenly and unexpectly in June of this year and going through her personal stuff I found my grandparents marriage certs and their own parents death certs. This got me thinking and led me to this site. I have found so many great great relatives and traced back into the 1700's - what a great site and one that has given me comfort and knowledge into where I come from and the people who brought us into the world and an insight into the lives they led. It also stopped me from cracking up, Thank you GR and take care Angela I owe GR so much

So sorry to hear about your mother Angela. I couldn't agree more, about how much comfort you can get. I didn't know any of my grandparents (they died before I was born) and it wasn't until just before my mother died that I found that both of my grandmothers were buried in the local cemetery. Our family hadn't been ones to go visiting graves, but I can't tell you how it makes me feel now to visit their graves when I go to visit my mother's. I take flowers and it makes me feel that I really did have grandparents after all, and since finding them and their ancestors whilst doing my family history, it makes me feel as if I really 'know' them. Take care of yourself. Kath. x

Hi Angela. So sorry to her about your Mum. It does get easier with time. Honest. Linda x