Genealogy Chat

Packing mum off to Oz ..................... now that IS a good idea, he he he (evil laugh) Bev x

Been to bed for a bit -sorry not to reply sooner. Bev -I live south of London (well and truly south) but as I'll probably have to arrive via parachute drop I can't offer you a lift. We don't have a mum any more, so you can ship yours out to be with my abandoned kids if you like. Merry -I never thought of the Customs problems. I don't think I'll have any probs bringing the boozy fruit flies OUT of Oz -but remembering the red tape I had to negotiate just to send calendars to Scotland, full I.D required, mebbe it's a bit trickier at your end. Shame -they taste rather nice dipped in chocolate. Tina -see answer to Bev above. My Perth is Down Under. I'll have to catch the Red Eye Special and bail out over Cornwall (any directions for aerial arrivals, Olde Crone?). I have a Porta Potti -would that be a useful accessory to bring? Could set it up under a bush on the lawn. Beverley-from-Perth-Down Under

That has to be the only joy of having gaga rellies..you can trot off and leave them at christmas without feeling guilty.. * Picture Jess with phone to right lughole** ''Yes Mum, what do you mean when is christmas?'' mutter mutter mutter ''Its dec 25th, same as always'' mutter mutter mutter ''yes, just over two weeks away'' mutter mutter mutter ''What do you mean 'do you have to do anything' ?'' mutter mutter mutter ''two weeks away, yes this month'' mutter mutter mutter ''Yes, its always in December'' mutter mutter mutter ''no ,I wouldnt expect the milkman to tell you'' mutter mutter mutter ''Well, they are christmas cards that the postman is bringing'' mutter mutter mutter ''No , the one with the robin on is a christmas card, no, the gas board dont have a new motif'' mutter mutter ''They are sending them because its christmas'' mutter mutter mutter ''what do you mean when?, Dec 25th same as its always been'' Mutter mutter

Merry and the gang what a brilliant read this thread has been;; may you all have a very merry C-mas;; if you run out of stuff to eat all feel free to come to the northern mad house it he Boro;; Babs

Olde Crone, I havent got any hated sisters in law because I don' t have any brothers and sisters ......... my mother didnt see fit to provide me with any and its a bit late to ask for one now. Come Xmas Day I'm going to park the old dear at the computer and let her play on GR ....... then you'll be sorry!!!!! (So will I probably ......!) She doesn't steal ............ honest .......... she regularly swigs out of other peoples wine glasses, but thats not really stealing ..... is it? Bev x

I have just found a box of ''Eat-Me'' dates..........eat by Jan 1999!!! Will bring them along....... Merry

nudged for KimKat

No Bev dear, DO try to concentrate... It is precisely to escape from many years of dealing with our 'away with the fairies' loved (and not so loved) ones, that we are having alternative Xmas at mine. Do you not, my dear, have a particularly hated Sister in Law, or other relative who has slighted you over the years, that you could foist your poor Mum onto for the festive season? I speak as one who played host for some 15 years to someone else's left-over Mum, a dear soul, no trouble, scoffed her dinner then left - except, the final year we had her, she had quietly developed mild kleptomania, and I saw her steadily removing the decos from the tree, carefully wrapping them in toilet paper (brought with her, I assume, for this purpose) and popping them into her bag. While I was pondering the etiqueette of bag-searching one's departing guests, my FIL indicated, by way of much facial grimacing, that he had the situation under control - as fast as she was putting them into her bag, he was taking them out and putting them under the table. Noooo, sorry Bev, season of goodwill and all that - but you are on your own with this one. Olde Crone

Is there no-one on this thread south of London??? Being of a charitable nature, I have a nearly house-trained, only slighty cantankerous, away with the fairies mother that I would like to donate to someone for Xmas, for absolutely no charge whatsoever. Working on the premis that a change is as good as a rest, I'll even consider a mother-swap! Please!!!!! Bev x

(Thinks: Gosh! Better up the order for parsnips) Poor Angela! We will have a minute's silence for you, on my front lawn, raising a glass of curdled Baileys in tribute. As so many of you seem to be coming, I wonder whether the hire of a mini-bus might be more appropriate? Some of them are equipped with integral Tena Lady (if you could borrow a Help the Aged one, perhaps?). As it will have to do rather a lot of detours, I think you should set off about now - don't forget to wish your Loved Ones a very merry Xmas without you, though, and try to leave a sketch map of where the kitchen is, just in case your local McDonalds shuts on Xmas Day. You just come straight down the M4, then the M5 and then onto the A30. This will of course be choc-a-bloc with Festive Traffic and it may take you some days to get over Bodmin Moor and through the bottleneck at the Black Bridge on Goss Moor, so bring plenty of supplies - there is nowhere on this 100 mile stretch to buy a drink under about £10. Then, carry on down the A30, your Minibus Driver will have no problems negotiating the chicane of red cones and contraflow traffic. Pass, on your left, a builder's tent, bearing some wag's sign: 'Redruth 24 hour services - Tea and a wee', take a sharp right at the roundabout and then ask for Marj - you should be able to tell by which way they scatter, where I am, but just in case not, I shall erect a life-sized Flashing Santa on my roof - mine is the house with a lot of people in white coats coming and going. Oh, this will be such fun - yes, I think the trailing lead is long enough for us to watch telly on the lawn. Olde Crone

Beverley Which Perth are you in? Is it the one on the other side of the world, or the one a lot further north from Cheshire? If the latter, could you pick me up on your way past? I will stand at the side of the M6 waving a red tinsel G-string draped delicately around a tin of Birds custard powder, just so you recognise me and don't pick up the wrong person. If you could stand your cumquats with the boozy fruit flies in the front windscreen, that would save me from possibly getting into the wrong car. Many thanks Tina

They sound great Bev......We will probably think they are moving though, after copious amounts of Bailey's and Tomato soup. Would you be alowed to post them over hear? or would they be too dangerous for Airmail?? Merry

No takers for my brandied cumquats then? The fruit fly did get to the cumquats , but they are nicely pickled now -not moving at all. Beverley-from-Perth

Thank you, Merry. I will be spending the whole time pining for the smoke from Hemel that is drifting festively over the roof, the piles of soggy sprouts with those little crosses cut into the bottom of them before they are boiled for an hour, the 89th repeat of the 'C' episode of Only Fools and Horses and the Boxing Day rush to Argos to try and change all those lovely presents bought in the summer sales that I haven't got the receipt for. It will be a burden, but I will try and bear up bravely.

I am gutted for you Angela.....It's obvious, from what you say, that you cannot possibly enjoy yourself wearing a string bikini in 80 degrees heat, with someone nice rubbing in the suntan stuff and a pinacolada with an umbrella in it, by your side! Condolences to you............ Merry x

I am absolutely gutted. There I'll be sprawled on a sunlounger in 80 degrees of heat muttering things like 'what time does the bar open?' and 'I think you've missed rubbing a bit of suncream in for me just behind my left ear' when I could have been having fun at Chrone's party instead. What an absolute bummer. I will just have to content myself with missing it but making the following donations so that the occasion goes with a swing: My collection of spangly festive earrings with little dangly santas, fairies and snowflakes on. I am expecting you all to grab a pair (well, at least for those that are still in pairs) and wear them under your woolly hats. A selection of lovely table 'centrepieces' made from wonky bits of plaster-of-paris, old candles and tasteful bits of tinsel. My kids spent ages making them in the 1970's knowing how much you would appreciate them in 2005. Honest. Must just dash off to pack my string bikini. (The sight of that should deter the unwary from trying to beat me to the bar!).

Hi Jess and all, I have just RETURNED from ARGOS.....so that's amazing in itself! Don't even ask what I was doing there....far too painful to recollect :O(( Watford/Northampton.....all about the same, isn't it?? My car will be the one with dents on both front wings.....don't worry, not put there by me.....and btw for those with an inside seat (sorry Jess), please note that despite the garage ''fixing'' the heater THREE years running, it still doesn't work, so make sure your GR hat is a WARM one...... Roof box is SUPREME DELUXE model, so you will be able to use the bin liner as a sail and go to New York, if I pass OC's turning.......... Thought I was in the north??????.......Nooooo, that's some bloke with a red coat and grumpy expression you must have me mixed up with...... Merry

Merry ,How very kind of you to come via my humble abode. So kind of you to come north, I thought you were in the North anyway!! My space in the roof box is still vacant then? - good. My hat is knitted, and ready to don for the journey, think i might need it , especially as i may need to open the roof box from time to time to allow for oxygen. Is you roof box an authentic one, or a cheap one you picked up at a market somewhere ? I understand the better quality ones float - which could be adventagious, as me thinks there is sea between Cornwall and the isles of scilly Do Staffs or Sallop do a special patrol round Watford station for christmas? (being Hertfordshires patch and all that - maybe they are too busy with the blizzy in Hemel Hempstead)

I would like to donate a cake to your good selves. ....... Only a few months after it's best before date, it should be fine soaked with the afore mentioned Baileys and covered by the old custard. Daughter insisted we needed a Pandorro Italan sponge last Christmas and it's sat fully wrapped, unopened here ever since. ... I will dust off the box, of course. Gwyn

........... now you know why - apart from Hevs corner / the pub / Grot Regis / footie, and a few other threads........ I often retreat to the Land of Yips, BC! :-) cough cough another good thread to read, I remember........... oops!!