Genealogy Chat

Macbev Don't worry about finding a landing spot near to mine - just aim for the house at the end of my road which has approximately one million flashing lightbulbs all over it, then follow the noise.(Us on the lawn) Actually, you had prob better all bring some bottled water - for the last two days, my water supply has been 100% chlorine and I have not had a decent cup of coffee since Sunday. The Water Board say it is perfectly safe to drink; I say, but who would want to? Still, this is but a small hitch in my normally flawless (har har) domestic arrangements and I am investigating the possibility of digging a well for Xmas, on my front lawn - why not, I could decorate it with pretty lights in the good old Xmas tradition (Thinks: after Xmas, must find out why Wishing Wells are traditional Xmas Decos). Will you be expecting a cobweb-free zone? If so, you might be rather disappointed and should bring a duster with you. I've got the sprouts on already, on a low light, they should be ready in time for the big day (oh, shades of my Granny's cooking). Roast Seagull is not all that nice, I understand, but I have been eying up a particularly nasty parrot in someone's front window - anyone have any experience of roast parrot? Hope Bev's Mum has a nice time in Oz, dodging the granny-killers, but I do have to say, (rather sourly, I admit) that Bev is kicking up rather a fuss about ONE measly relative, when the rest of us have had to suffer from Multiple Batty Relative Syndrome for years. Olde Crone (wondering why we are all still here........)

Lucky I got out of bed for a wee break and looked in on the C- party arrangements, Bev. The postal pixies won't deliver a parcel that size to the door -they'll put one of those little card thingummies in my letter box telling me to collect it from the post office and bring proper ID (they're ID-mad at the P.Os these days. As if a terrorist would be carrying authentic ID any way!!). If you can get her here by Friday it should be OK. After that, my mail will be held until I get back. Better put plenty of Guiness and crackers in the box with her, just in case. P'raps you should include some reading matter as well..... I wouldn't send her surface mail. They're getting a bit tough on 'boat people' here now and I wouldn't want your mum to spend C-Day in Pt Hedland Detention Centre. Bev-from-Perth-underdaks-down, heading back to bed

Bev, why don't you send her surface mail????? Then she would be away for weeks and weeks, guaranteed! Merry

Macbev You're a miracle worker! Mum is wrapped in nice shiney Xmas paper - supersize roll from Asda, specially designed for all those huge impractical presents - tied up with ribbon and bows and I'm trying to persuade her to shuffle down to the Post Office before they close to get herself stamped and posted off to Oz (hope she gets there in time!) Perhaps I ought to add brown parcel paper over the top ........... if I just put Macbev, Perth-down-under-and-out on the address label, do you think she'll get there? WAKE UP BEV, I havent got much time! Bev x

Night night Bev! List looks great! Now sort yourself out Jess........(this is the trouble with OAP's!) It's YOU in the towing roof box (with bin bag, hat, can of Coronation Chicken, box of Eat Me dates, pack of paper plates, pack of Steradent tablets and packet of ice cream mix, circa 1969 along with your Bailey's).....It's ME towing you FROM the commode, with ski poles, and a pack of huskies on a lead. If you feel you have too much stuff in the ''roof'' box with you, I could store a few bits in the bowl under my seat, but said items might get damp.....that wouldn't be good for the Steradent tablets, in particular. Merry x

Nearly finished packing- Check-roll of bin liners Check-red Santa hat Check-5 bottles of boozy fruit flies in brandied cumquats Check -roll of loo paper Check-front door key under the mat for Bev's mum Check- extra bottle of Guiness, ditto Check -map of Cornwall ,with magnifying glass Leave me a message if I've forgotten anything vital, as I'm off to bed . Bev-from-Perth-Down-and-out

If you think for one moment that i am travelling stapped to a comode - woolly hat or not, you are wrong! Please! Besides The loo roll , choices of which as yet undecided, would no doubt unravell all down the m6, then we'd be in a proper quandry. -Not half the quandry we'd be in if we are heading for Cornwall down the M6 but that's a minor issue.

NEWS!! I have just thought of something VITALLY important to pack in the towing roof box, with Jess.................. my party-sized pack of Steradent tablets and a LARGE bowl, so on [C-word] night we can drop them all in for a fizzzzz, whilst we have 40 winks amongst the shrubbery. BTW, in an earlier message I mentioned having the commode fitted to the front passenger area in the car. Well, now I'm skiing, I have sorted some skis for the commode, thereby killing two birds with one stone; - an extra loo (will empty it just before I arrive (oops, sorry Jess, didn't see you there)) and an extra dead bird for the party! Lookout for the sledge.................. Merry x

I can relate to large presents. As I had five children it was always a struggle to fit everything into our houuse. One year my in-laws gave us a large table football table and a hornby train set which was so complicated that my husband an engineer failed to master it. My mother had obviously been let into the train set idea as she had a lot of brio accessaries which were much to big for the trainset. This was when my eldest son who has learning difficulties was about four and his brother about two.

I laughed till I cried over Jess's conversation. Mine has been on the lines of: Have you had the Blood test done? .... The one you were supposed to have done when you saw the nurse. ..... The one you need for the Memory Clinic ..... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! The rate things are going, it'll be X day in hospital, so I might well commandeer a hospital bed, as Merry is doing the Great North Ski, and race that down, picking up Bev on the way. Steering might be erratic, as my sleeves will be a little long, but that all adds to the fun of the journey.

I could bring an industrial-sized tin of Coronation Chicken (bought in 1953)?? Merry

Well, if you thought i was coming without mine you were wrong , Dont go too fast when you are towing me else they might fly out and bite some unsuspecting passer by. Maybe i'd be better with one of those bank Robbers hats, with just an eye slit? anyway, back to grub, what we doing for a bird? Sure there are plenty of seagulls around in Crones neck of the woods (neck of the cliffs?) , Not sure i fancy seagull stuffed with tomato soup mix though Jess x

OK- will leave the porta pottie under the bed for Bev's mum, then. Still worried about landing lights -I'm a bit short sighted and the dots on your maps look awfully close together. How will I know when I have got the right one? Beverley from Underdone -Perth

We don't need spare dentures......her current ones will do fine! Merry

shouildn't worry about the porta pottie - sure crone has an antique Po we can share, quick on and off to keep it warm, behind the Hawthorn bush. Essential is the festive loo roll though....santa or a snow men? they have some in Asda with holly on but somehow the association of wiping my backside with holly be-decked paper doesnt seem right. Do we need Nutcrackers or will Crones spare dentures do? jess x

Oh, Crone - I am deeply touched by your organisation of the minute's silence for me. In fact I am absolutely welling up as we speak. I am tempted to cancel the hols so that I can be there. How could anyone possibly turn down the opportunity to be at The Social Event of The Year? Ah well - I was never one to give in to temptation. I could send a few little somethings to help to eke out the provisions. There is a jar of cranberry sauce in the cupboard which would be perfectly okay if you just scraped off the fluffy bits on the top and some chestnuts that have been in a zip-lock bag in the fridge for a while. I haven't inspected them lately but I am sure they will be fine if you mash them up and put them in the stuffing. There are a few odd crackers in the drawer. Nobody will notice that they don't match after they have had a glass or two. Anything else that you need? You could borrow my Domestic Goddess pinny if you like?

Merry -I can do spray snow if you think it will help -but the Daylight Saving mob here are agitating (again!!!) to bring WA up to speed with the rest of the country. Heck, we LIKE being 3 hrs behind. So it may be lighter, not darker at 4.00pm by the time Bev's mum gets here. I've still got my Qantas eyeshades though -can leave those out by the bed if it will help. Bev -I only asked about gates because I am concerned she might wander out onto the road. Perth drivers are not renowned for slowing down for wandering grannies Olde Crone -is it possible to light up some of those bank statements to make a landing flare for me when I pass overhead? I don't want to put you to any trouble, but I've only been to Cornwall once before and am not too sure where you are in relation to Looes (sp?) Do I bring the portapotti or not? (jiggling up and down with excitement, now, legs crossed) Bev-from Downunder-in-Perth

You're a pal Macbev and just so you know how much I appreciate it ..... you can keep mum until next Xmas! She's no trouble honest. She can probably open gates, but despite the rheumatism, she can open wine and guiness bottles blindfold with one arm tied behind her back. String bikini?? hmmm theres a thought (sick bag please!) ................... And do you know wha, during this morning's phone call (virtually identical to Jess's phone call down the page) mother had the nerve to tut tut and tell ME I was getting confused .................! Gimme strength! Bev x Er ...... when is Xmas anyway ...................?

Bev-from-Perth..... I'm sure the other Bev's mother will be really at home....I would leave one jar of cumquats with her, to put her in the festive spirit. OC, I have decided to ski instead of drive to you!! I will tow the aerodynamic roof box containing Jess, and also bring a pack of huskies and a pack of paper plates. This will mean no washing up and no eating of leftovers off the lawn. Just thought.......Bev-from-Perth.......you will need to buy a can of spray snow and squirt it around your Perth home before leaving, as otherwise Bev's mum may get homesick and try hitching back to the UK. Could you also arrange for it to get dark about 4pm and get light about 7am?? Thanks....that's great!! Merry x

You needn't bother to pack her string bikini ,Bev -the weather's been rather cool for December. I still have the waterproofs I used to use on the mattresses for visits by the g.kids when they were tiny. We live on a fairly busy street -can she open gates? And should i leave her a bottle or two of the brandied cumquats? Bev-from-Perth-Downunder