Genealogy Chat

Blimey look at the time!!! i have been reading this thread for hours, and i am still only on page 8 Thanks for the invite i've now sorted some bits out. I've found some mouldy spongy spuds so they are going in my string bag as are my PCs(patsy clines),I have also got my Tena Lady(with wings) supply out and stuck them all together to make a glider so i will fly down to Old crones, and if TINA is still stuck for a lift i will pick you up just tell me where in cheshire(i'm heading from Liverpool) so i will follow the mersey until i get seasick, ..Do tena ladys disolve into crystals like nappies????if they do then myself and tina will fill them up until we get to OCs house then let rip so it looks like snow over the house(oh the nieghbours will be so!!!!! jealous), present wise i have lots of old certs that are not mine so i will frame them and give them out.(i'll just tippex the names off)... i'll be back tommorrow when i have read the rest of the thread....MOE! now WOE!

Updated, updated invitees list: Crone Jess Bobbin Merry several huskies Bev Scott Tina Cheshire Pussy cat Ebeneza Macbev in Perth Ang Oop North/Dn South Fairy Smith Buttercup Fairy (not sure??) Gwyn Ding in Kent Reb Elf Wrinkly Grumpy Old Woman Moe in a Muddle Tina.......don't need a boat because the huskies will be towing me, Jess and Bobbin......The huskies don't swim too well, so it's best for us to come by road.........(even with cones.......) Jess - Could you put some sort of alarm on your freezer? I would be worried about Alan and him getting trapped???! I was going to suggest you place a tin opener inside, so he could cut his way out if necessary, but now you seem to be saying he doesn't know how to use one, so that might set him at a disadvantage?? Merry

thats got em all thinking jess lol and tina yes totally unused lol

Tina - your concert for Bobbin is very much appreciated, she isnt actually leading the ...erm...entourage..she has her own roof box, expertly welded onto he top of mine (merry tells me i have the lower Berth). Perhaps a good thing , she has no sense of direction, not a lot of sense at all really. Please dont give Merry ideas about outboard motors- she may decide to take the sea route , having already told me that the roof boxes float. Mind you, could have its advantages, just leep the land on our left and well get there eventualy, far less to worry about than left here , right there

What I want to know is why Malc has got all these spare items if his wife (sensible woman) 'dealt' with him years ago. Or are they all so old as to be perished and useless even for balloon stand-ins? Never mind, Malcolm, if you promise faithfully that they are totally unused, perhaps we could throw them in the punch to add flavour. Jess, I've just been outside for the first time today and it is perishing cold! I'm worried about Bobbin, bravely leading you and Merry as you travel down to Olde Crone's. I can just see her in her balaclava with her ears streaming out behind her. Do you have a set of doggles for her to wear to stop her eyes watering? Merry, if you are in Bournemouth there must be a load of little boats bobbing about somewhere near you. Could you not 'borrow' an outboard motor and fit it to your skis? Or maybe two, one for each ski? I'm still working on the c-presents. I thought I had a stock of unwanted and out-of-date items at the back of the garage, but the mice seem to have beaten me to it. That cat is not earning it's keep any more. Tina

if you dont understand malcoms message about my message , then message him , or message me, or someone else entirely ....because I long ago lost the plot!!. or something like that..... Jess - who cant carry a tune in a bucket let alone sing soprano as yopu heard a few night ago, when Crone ordered me off to my bed (she thought i was drunk! Moi? lol)

hiya if you dont understand jess`s message bout sopranos pm her as i know she knows what bought her response malc of course you could mail me to find out lol

Lets add Mo to the guest list them . Got the tinsel G-string and balaclava Mo?, and decide on what gift to add to the gift 'pool'. see earlier for suitable suggestion.Naff and at a cost of no more than 27p- car boot/jumble sale buys quite acceptable we are are all going to Crones to avoid 'the C word' so you will be far from the only miserable one there . Most of us were born that way!

hiya all you girls just to allay your fears i thought the traffic direcxtions would of been of help as for the rubberware its not only coloured but flavoured too ( better than the mock baileys ) also they can be blown up by footpump so reb elf has no worries there lol though i suspect shes never blown up a flavoured one either also you are all safe as my wife neutered me with two bricks years ago malc can he be trusted lol see merry i check daily xx

Merry! DON'T TOUCH THOSE CONDOMS!!! You don't know where they've been. Besidies, if you were thinking of using them for ballons, someone will have to blow them up, and I'm not volunteering for that! Bev, no dear, not via Brazil, only part of the way. And what do you mean you've never been naughty on GR before? OOh, I do so love corrupting the innocent. he! he! he! I too have been turning out boxes and have found some more gifts. A knife block in the shape of a man, complete with knives. I've had a lot of satisfaction from that one in the past, and I feel it is now time to share the experience. And a muff, complete with zippered section.......and before anyone has an apoplectic fit, a muff is a a tubular piece of furry fabric in which one keeps ones hands warm in. I believe a relic from my days of skating and C word ice shows. Moe, of course you're welcome. Although if you insist on being the obligatory saddo-in-the-corner you'll have to change your name to Woe. Rebs x

Hi merry & co, Can i come to your party? my aunts just died and is getting buried next week, so can't really celebrate this year and every party needs a saddo sitting in the corner crying in their glass and singing patsy cline songs, i promise to behave and sing/hiccup quietly....MOE!

If you feel like feeding him , then feel free- he has difficulty with cooking in general so will run the tin opener round a few cans before we leave. I have some of those plastic lid thingies that i use for Bobbins food so dare say they'll keep the flies out for a day or two. He looks quite funny trying to get things out of the freezer at the best of times so hadnt better freeze too much for him - picture small man trying to get to bottom of freezer while trying to hold the lid up with his head and grab the package before he loses his balence and either falls in completely or traps his head....... Park him with anyone else?- no-one will have him (and i have offered a hansome financial reward)

Having just returned from Asda in savage mode/mood (me, not Asda) and discovering that I will have to return at least twice before C Day, I am not in a good mood. MALC - I TOLD them about the Roadworks, that's why they are all coming Fly/Ski. You have a touching innocence if you think these will be out of the way by the 21st, the A303 and the A30 have been coned off for over 25 years to my knowledge, apart from one week in June 1989 when they took the cones up by mistake. Now, sorting through my stuff for the Present Pool, I have come across two little gems. The first is the instructions for a Complete Knitted Layette, courtesy of Woman's Own, 1957. It includes everything for your new baby - Pilch Knickers, Leggings with elasticated straps and joy of joy, knitted Nursery Curtains, with a motif of bunny-wunnies, ducky-wuckies or doggy-woggies (Actually, they are quite sweet - who do I hate enough to knit these for?) The other is a Mark Eden Bust Improver, used by my good self circa 1969 - it didnt improve and I nearly got the sack for using it in the office. No doubt one of you has a flat-chested MIL or SIL you wish to insult, so it's yours if you want it. No thankyou, I do not need any handtowels with crocheted edgings, in fact I have a set of very similar tray cloths, mine are edged in what appears to rug wool, in a strange shade of mustard. As the catering arrangements are going somewhat awry (I forgot the b***** turkey today) can you bring packed lunches please, sufficient for your intended duration? We could have a faith supper, so no fish paste sarnies thanks. Now, how does Festive Pizza sound? Value Bases, covered with cooked turkey, stuffing, cold sausage, sprouts etc. - should be jolly tasty I think. Olde Crone (living nowhere near Broadbottom OR Piddletrenthyde either, if we are getting into silly names here....)

I tend to be a bit suspicious of ANYONE named Malc. I remember a certain Oz P.M of that name who was discovered trouser-less in the USA. And if Jess wouldn't have BAREd men at the party, I think I can predict what she might think of those bearing coloured condoms! In fact (updating furiously as I think about it more) ,I should not be surprised if the whole approach was a PLOY and trying to cut a WHEEDLE and I think we should be alert (but not alarmed) Beverley-not-a-Scot PS Merry, if you live in Bournemouth, did you know my husband's maiden gt aunts, Edith and Mabel GOULD, or their mother, Emma Charlotte? I want to know what happened to the family fortune -especially why the Rev John went to jail . As it is now 2.26am here (even without Daylight Saving), I am off to bed, but will look for any replies later in the morning

Bev from Perth not Scot.......A brill idea about the ghost of Christmas past.....I need the one that covers 1862/64 and comes from Staffordshire....................... Jess, READ MY LIPS!!! I live in Bournemouth......You live....um.....somewhere else.......I had felt it was near Northampton, but unsure....anyway....it's the opposite direction from home to you than to Crone's, so after I pick you up we will be going direct from your abode to Crone's (maps required???!).........Should I bring any supplies for ....um...Alan, isn't it?..........or is he parking himself at some other unsuspecting relations house for the festive day?? Merry (PS Malc has offered his mechanical services as he will be in Okehampton at C-mas)

Good evening girls (at least, it is evening here). Does anyone know if the Ghost of C- Past is coming to this party. I 'd like to consult him/her about a couple of people on my tree who are being less than co-operative about divulging information. I am prepared to offer the standard researcher's fee for information leading to an arrest, or alternatively a nip of White or Metholated Spirits, whichever is more acceptable -or even a nearly used bottle of Drambuie, if said Ghost has Scottish tastes. If said Ghost is not on the invite list, does anyone have contacts on the Other Side who would be prepared to help. Beverley-from-Perth-not -in-Scotland

A kind thought, Malcolm, however this should not affect me as I shall be travelling by balloon-powered box. I have now stapeled a warm, fleecy lining (pale blue with cute little teddy bears) to the inside of the box, and propose to wear for the journey (over my very brief tinselly bits, of course): hubby's hiking socks, wellies (in case I crash land in a pond), a psychedelic caftan (left over from my flower-power days in the 60s - now sporting a thermal lining), fur mittens, a special balaclava which I am currently knitting (red on top and white from the cheekbones down), and of course the obligatory flashing reindeer antlers (worn over the balaclava). In addition, I shall wrap myself in an old red hospital blanket (left over from the days when the blankets were all red so the patients didn't notice the blood). I have also acquired an inflatable life-size Rudolph, which I shall attach to the front of the box (wonderful what people leave lying around in their front gardens at this time of year). I fully intend to travel just above tree-top level, thereby coming in under the radar. But just in case, I reckon the red-flashing antlers should warn off any low-flying planes. Anyone foolish enough to look up, however, will see a generously sized figure clad in red and preceeded by an reindeer. They will, of course, draw the obvious conclusion and not go rushing off to NASA claiming to have spotted another UFO. I really do not want to be escorted in to Olde Crone's back garden by 2 fighter jets. Can anyone think of any point here which I have not covered? I would hate anything to go wrong, I am so looking forward to this party. Tina

Rebs - i ahve asolutely no idea , excpt Merry is picking me up in the midlands and unless she has drilled some peep holes in the roof box, i have no idea which way we'll go cos i shall not be able to see. probably go via Mongolia knowing Merry. I most sincerely hope she isnt expecting me to map read , bad enough wondering which side is left and right without having to consider if i am laying on my back or my tummy, cos we sould end up going the completely wrong way, if i forget which way i'm laying. Maybe i could fit it out with fairly lights inside....

Travelling via 'Brazil' are you Rebs??????? Bev x Who has never ever been this naughty on GR, let alone on the tips board ...........................

hey elf i was only thinking of you ladies with my traffic update you ever sat in the cold with underwear you describe it could freeze up specially if ya warning others to cut back the undergrowth LMAO