Genealogy Chat

Shepherds, sheep? Erm Lara, Macbev.......do think Jess is mistaking us for Kiwis??? However Jess you do have a point. Olde Crone is very suspicious by her absence. Hmmmmm! It's officially Christmas Day in Australia. Happy Christmas everyone!!! Rebs x

Personally I think Old Crone sent out an advance party, spotted us all on our Merry way to cornwall and promptly left the country, either that or she is in an incoherent heap somewhere (what is unusual in that i hear you cry?) Maybe she is out orgainising a star to guide us in from the east , like wot happened long ago, trying to reacreate the famous story, In a stable all forlorn in St Erth....3 mad women,3 Australians will do for shepherds and assorted mangy dogs to stand in for the lowing cattle. Bags i play mary (innocence, virginal and all that) and i am sure any spare infants wont mind being swaddled in damp tena ladty, for the purpose of the exercise. What are we to the then fellow non-revellers if we are not to local the Old Crones abode?

Brown Brothers? Wouldn't be the crouchen riesling would it? Oi, Lara!! Pass me the bottle. Need something to calm my nerves. this flying lark isn't all it's cracked up to be. Should be arriving at OC's fairly soon though. wonder if anyone else is close?? 2 bottles later..........and watha fairy she ith. Im fine thanku Tena. Can someone pass the tinas pleash, I need to go wee wee weeeeeeeeee!

Rebs, REBS - are you Ok. I'm worried about you, travelling as you are with a drunken fairy! Merry, cellulite - MOI? How could you even think such a thing. Pure lard, girl, pure lard! Tina

omg Reb am I still with you, had a dream I was back in Yarrawonga watching carols by candle light and trying to seperate son and husband as they argued about putting my Chrissie present together same old same old , Are we there yet ???? I'm sure I can smell something like cumquats with fruit fly ,only way to enjoy them hehe or it might be the unopened LOL Dryed fruit some gave me a few years ago that I bought with me the pkt smells sort of fermented and we could always add it to the punch I'm sure it will give it an extra bit of punch I hope I'll be there soon with Rebs navigating one doesn't know ,she barracks for Caaaaaarlton after all one shouldn't expect much ............. ok sorry Reb don't tip me out just joshin gal ,Lara the fallen fairy ooops nearly went again its the brown bros who drank the whole bottle ok no one else had any must have been only a half bottle LOL hehe bye Merry Christmas xx

Well done Tina..............Ant I thought those marks on your thighs might be something else, beginning with Cel and ending in ulite????! As it's actually fishing net imprints, I'll be bringing PLENTY of the other stuff myself................ Jess, Bobbin, the huskies and I are STILL trying to trace Olde Crone's house........... I thought it was at a place called Probus, but am now doubtful, as I 'phoned their Post Office and they said they don't have a Ms O C Holden on their rounds.....so, either she never receives any mail (but I'm certain she gets credit card bills like the rest of us) or she lives somewhere else! Grrrrrr!! Merry

Beryl, Woe, hello at last! I am so glad to have finally joined you both. I am sorry I missed the trip down the Irish Sea in the Royal Iris, still, at least I am here finally. Had a few bad moments though. The South Wales Police helicopter was sniffing around as I passed the Gower peninsula and I had to hastily blow up some more balloons until I was too high up for them. I chucked my stack of used tenas at them as well, I think it must have clogged up the rotor blades 'cos it made a funny sort of choking noise. I do hope they got home safely, it's a bit cold ditching in the sea at this time of year. Then I drifted rather off course for a while and nearly entered french airspace. My goodness, they are touchy aren't they! I got a bit of shock when a couple of jet fighters bore down upon me with a banner strung between them saying 'English keep out', but fortunately the rush of hot air from them spun me round and sent me back in the right direction. The landing was really traumatic. The gallant (three cheers) men duly caught me in their fishing net. I still have the imprint of it on my thighs! It was a bit of a bad moment when they hauled me in and my red tinsel g-string had got caught in the mesh, and they threatened to cut the g-string off! What a good thing I had brought great grandfather's pruning knife with me and was able to slash the fishing net before they got to my g-string - do you think they were very cross? Anyway here I am. Nice warm mug of mulled wine with a double brandy chaser and I'm ready for off. Anyone know where we are going next? Tina

the gold hat looks great rebs just like a star as indeed you are hope the jet lag doesnt intefere with your enjoyment of the party seems like thngs are hotting up in cornwall and i hope the party goes well for all ya know summat this has been the best laugh ive had in ages could you PLEASEEEEEE try and keep it going into the new year merry do das and a happy new wotsit to you all malc

Oooooh dear.....here you are........and some airfreshener spray in galvanised rubber flavour, for your roof box.. Is Bobbin OK?.....I note she keeps walking in circles....maybe it's the smell of Olde Crone getting in the bath again? Just going to empty the commode......... Merry

**Jess peeps nervously from roof box** St Erth? thought i was on my way to flippin heaven then, downt know about earth! That was just about the most terrifing thing i have ever done! knocks any ride at Alton Towers into mere kids stuff! The is an awfull smell here in my roof box now.Tena Lady? Very good for the purpose for which they were intended indeed but i seem to have failed to obtain the right absorbency for ...erm...erm...'number 2's' created when being pushed along by a train in a roof box ! Yes, Merry Dearest , I have actually Sh*t myself in terror! Chuck me that old radio times and i'll pop behind that bush and clean myself up.

Jess........Jeeesss......are you and Bobbin all right??? That was pretty scary, wasn't it???? So.......THIS is St Erth??? God's last what-did-you-say? God's last hope, perhaps?? Anyway.....I have nipped into the sports shop and ''borrowed'' a pair of ping-pong bats. I have let Bobbin and the huskies give them a good sniff, and now they are ready to home in on any poor unsuspecting soul who might be going to have a quick game on C-mas Eve...........Hopefully, they will also me able to home in on OC and her gold bats? (Hope it doesn't clash with my gold lamé??)......I have told Bobbin and the huskies that they need to be able to sniff out the bats from a distance of up to about 25 miles............... Bobbin just told me she is having trouble detecting the smell of ping-pong, because of another pong of disinfected punch and spruot soup, so maybe we have not so far to go after all?? Merry

Reb this g/string has shrunk and its giving me a wedgie, are you sure this chair knows that the a**e end is Cornwall, I have some icicles hanging of my backside and the tena lady is not doing the job Billy is still asleep as usual and Richard Clayderman is playing away and Reb what is that you are singing kum by yah , shouldnt be 'come by air' omg now my g/string is really shrinking or I have fluid so pass the tena ladies please quick, I'm starving are we nearly there yet!!!!! oh just keep singing along she says its alright for these young sheilas hanging upside down on here looking liking I dont know what is not real dignified you know, see you all soon I hope aaaarrgh just missed a another vehicle looked like a flying commode chair could it be ? Reb please pass that wine here I think its time to start on the good stuff......Lara Reb and Billy

Adventures of the Wishing Chair.........the nutcases version Dame Wash-a-lot was quick to pounce on the three friends, them having been dumped unceremoniously in her domain. They were all washed, dried and repackaged into blankets while the tinsel apparel dried in the breeze. But she was a kindly soul and fed them brandy snaps and hot chocolate while they waited. 'Talk about obsessive compulsive' whispered Rebs to Lara, who nodded in agreement. Billy was already asleep, snoring at her feet. Soon they were able to redress, climb aboard the chair and once again set off to Olde Crones. 'Olde Crones house in the a*se end of England' shouted Rebs, making sure the chair understood and would this time deliver them to the right addy. With a lurch, the chair and its passengers once more set off on it's journey. note; tinsel shrinks when wet!

TRAVEL WARNING !!! It has been reported that a heavy, overloaded vehicle has been seen flying through the skies of the southern hemisphere at brakeneck speeds. The RAAF are investigating. If flying in related areas caution is advised. UPDATE! Also reported in the northern skies that a UFO, (unidentified farting object) airborn with the aid of balloons is working it's way across the skies in a grid like fashion. The mystery object appears to be searching the waters below it and may be lost. Please assist should you come across afore mentioned object.

Thanks Reb .(Beverley takes on a little form and colour). I don't feel so much like the Ghost of C-Past, now. Will just keep my legs crossed and hope for a happy landing. Sudden thought - O.C. WILL let her fire go out on C-Eve, won't she? I think I'd better bring my twinkling Yo Yo, just in case - I can always slide down the string. Chim chiminee,chim chiminee chim chim cheree The Sandgroper's coming with cumquats for tea. Beverley-on-the -chimbley- pot

LOL Macbev, don't think we'll hear anything from Olde Crone just yet. I think she's off shopping for a slightly less sarcastic disposition to use during the un-Chri.......you know the word I mean, celebrations. I'm sure the chimbley is fine, but expect to see it covered in gold cobwebs. Erm......, the kind spiders make. ps, Mal, I've purchased a gold sequined santa hat. Since I'm coming from a south-eastery direction will that pass for the star-in-the-east?

No, no, Tina -the cumquats have FRUIT flies, not BLOWflies. Believe me, there is quite a difference. Sorry about the near mid-air collision, Rebs. The Fat Man detoured to see if he could help out Tina and was hurrying to make up time as I've been sitting on this chimney pot for a while now. Since I've been Invisible for the past few days, he missed me on the first few pass-overs. It was only when I waved my invite to O.C's that he registered my presence. What with the Postal Pixies and all you guys acting as though I'm not here, I'm feeling decidedly down in the bra cups and wondering if I should come :-(( Still awaiting word from Olde Crone about the state of her chimney. Beverley-out-in-the-cold

Tina, Ye of little faith...of course you will land safely...it is all arranged. When you see the flares pop your balloons, slowly, one by one with the pin, gently float down and the gallant brave men will catch you in a fishing net. There may be the odd kipper or two in the net but don't worry they don't bite! I can picture it now...you floating down ever so gracefully with your red g-string glittering in the light of the flares all the gallant brave men staring heavenwards awaiting to catch you. It will be fine, there is absolutely no need for trepidation. Yes, it was a brilliant idea to pre book a rescue...the gallant brave men (three cheers) are using this rescue as an exercise... after all they have to be ready to tackle every contingency. Woe/Moe and I are now going to curl up in our warm bunks for a little shut eye. I am ever so sorry that you are feeling the cold.. Make sure your Tena ear muffs are completely covering your ears as I don't want you to have earache during our visit to Olde Crone. See you just after three o'clock. Until then Good luck and safe landing. Beryl x

Fipiin' heck!!! OK......Expect I will have my eyes closed in any case.......(through fear) Merry

gawd Merry, thats the middle of the night! Can you sort it out and wake me when the train has done its stuff? Wont disturb my slumbers too much will it?