Genealogy Chat

Personally I think Old Crone sent out an advance party, spotted us all on our Merry way to cornwall and promptly left the country, either that or she is in an incoherent heap somewhere (what is unusual in that i hear you cry?) Maybe she is out orgainising a star to guide us in from the east , like wot happened long ago, trying to reacreate the famous story, In a stable all forlorn in St Erth....3 mad women,3 Australians will do for shepherds and assorted mangy dogs to stand in for the lowing cattle. Bags i play mary (innocence, virginal and all that) and i am sure any spare infants wont mind being swaddled in damp tena ladty, for the purpose of the exercise. What are we to the then fellow non-revellers if we are not to local the Old Crones abode?

Shepherds, sheep? Erm Lara, Macbev.......do think Jess is mistaking us for Kiwis??? However Jess you do have a point. Olde Crone is very suspicious by her absence. Hmmmmm! It's officially Christmas Day in Australia. Happy Christmas everyone!!! Rebs x

OLDE CRONNNNNNNNNE OLDE CRONNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I have brought you a pair of Aggie's drawers (Harvest Home Knickers) to wear under your festive G-String.........Where ARRRREEEE YOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU Should I call the emergency services?? Missing Crone alert? Or....Jess, there's always the five star hotel option.....?? .........Hmmmmmmmm.....not a great deal of choice.......This seems to be it: The Star Inn 1 Church St., St Erth, Hayle, Cornwall Main features: Built in 1647, with log fires A selection of excellent real ales also says it is near this: ''St. Erth pits''.....maybe this is Olde crone's home? Merry

stuff the name , as long as there is real all who cares what it is called!!

Jess, Mary? virgin? wasn't she a married woman when she had Jesus?Well since none of us can find OC, i suggest we all head to a safehouse, somewhere we all know well, graveyard maybe???and sit around one of OCs rellies graves and have our picnic until she finds us.My cds running low it needs charging Pasty cline sounds like shes mumbling, my homemade baileys is starting to curdle, so it needs to be drunk, i am upset the lifeboatmen didn't find my blue tinsel/lights fetching,(I was hoping to take one back home with me)Oh well, it looks like i will have to make do with a gravedigger instead, coo..eee, i say cooo..eeeee mister gravedigger.....what a big shovel you have....

Wheeeee -I'm off the pot at last. No, not hemp, you suspicious lot - my chimney pot. The Fat Man's really zipping over the Indian Ocean -is that Singapore I saw below. I'm sure I recognised the Raffles. What do you mean, Santa -what Lapp dancing??? I thought you were a Finn -at least that's what the paper said today. Just keep you mind on your driving and your hands on the wheel -oops-reins,and we'll manage just fine. Rebs, there is absolutely no problem with the jowls (or the bra cups, for that matter. I'm snuggled up under my Afghan (my God, you lot have got dirty minds!) and navigating like billy-o. Turn right at the next star, Santa. The fruit flies have all woken up in the rarefied atmosphere and the poor little things are hiccupping madly. I thought we'd hit a bump or two just then, but it was just the brandied flies convulsing. Wish I'd thought to bring the boogie board -it would have been the ride of the century. Just cruising over Capetown now. ETA, the Wee Small Hours. Hope to goodness that chimney is clean and the fire's out. Keep straight ahead and don't come down in the Sahara. I don't fancy sand in my tinsel. What ARE you on about ,Fat Man. I'm not wriggling -I'm doing my exercises. Haven't you ever heard about Deep Vein Thrombosis? Well, it's not my fault the sleigh lost its trajectory. Feed the reindeer more curry. Git 'em, Donner & Blitzen. There go the Six White Bloomers, off on the Australian Run. Check -size 18 puce knickers Check-passport tucked into said knickers Check-red tinsel g-string Check- brandied fly-enriched cumquats Check-super soft toilet roll Check-Afghan Check-vibrating gear Check -house key for Bev's mum in case she decides to use my place after all Sooo exciting. Think I'll have a little nap now, as it's a long journey. Really looking forward to this party Beverley-across the Equator-and trying-for-a -home-run

Right.....I've come to an arrangement with The Star Inn and have booked the whole place for Eve night - room for as all!!!! Comfy beds, real ale, warm dog baskets, hot showers, tinsel refurbishment service......just about what we all need to recuperate after our journeys..... See you all soon......... Then we can discuss....''Where IS the Olde Crone?????'' Merry

Sounds pretty good, Merry. The Fat Man knows all the addresses, luckily, but I'm a bit worried about those log fires you mentioned earlier. I won't get there for a bit (is that the Pyrenees we're passing over now?) but Santa only does roof-top drop offs. Am I gojng to need my Yo Yo after all? Beverley-rapidly-recalculating -her-ETA

Just putting the fire out, for a few hours, as we speak........Should give time for the chimney to cool a little..... also I don't suppose we should get used to being too warm with the barbie tomorrow.......the shock to our systems might be too much. (I have invested in 20 ''gallon'' petrol cans that we can fill with real ale, from The Star Inn, to see us over OC's punch tomorrow..........) merry

Woe/Moe....put the gravedigger down...you don't know where he has been (well perhaps you do!). Tina...please don't be upset I am sure Merry made a mistake....Yes I know she hardly ever makes mistakes...but you have to admit those marks do look like cellulite. I have the same marks and I wasn't even caught in the fishing net. Well girls and Poppy dog lets gather our bits and set off to find the Star Inn. Merry has it all arranged. Three cheers for Merry....Hip hip Hooray, Hip hip Hooray, Hip hip Hooray. Merry, Jess and Bobbin we will be with you soon. Jess ...Woe/Moe, Tina and little old me are well suited to be the three wise (Woe)men. It stands to sense really cos we have all travelled from The North. Don't know what that has to do with anything but it sounds wise.........Well, I thought it did. I am so looking forward to meeting all the fellow travellers who have made such ( stupid) efforts , sorry about that small typing error meant to say Stupendous efforts to avoid the c...mas festivities at their own abode. Beryl x. PS. Malc....my brain hurts!

When Joseph and Mary arrived at The Star Inn in the year nought, the reason they couldn't get a room was because some women in red tinsel G-strings were going to have a party and had rented out the whole place............... Merry

OK Santas just left Mumbai - will be visiting Lahore in 20 minutes (no that's not a french lady with loose morals)! You lot have filthy minds. ETA in UK about five and a half hours. Ian

at least we have some where to meet then Merry - did seem to be an awful long way (ok, so Mary and joseph has to go a long way too) but at least when they got to where they were going the inn keeper hadn't P*ssed Off out!!. Lets just hope Crone has left a note on the door saying go in and help youselves...

What's worrying me is that if none of us know what she looks like, then how do we know she isn't the waitress who served me my pint? Or the chambermaid who turned down my bed, or that olde woman scrubbing pots in the kitchen?????? Do you think she will be wearing a name badge? Merry

Merry... I was going to say she will be the one wearing a red tinsel g-string but Oh! my goodness there are scores of ladies wearing red tinsel g-strings (some of them not very flattering, mine included). We shall just have to pin our hopes on the name badge. Beryl x

I wondering if she was that dotty old dear that just brought our those pasties~ I know its chrristmas and tradition says that you should have sweet at one end and savoury at the other but i wish they'd have found a way to somehow stop the sprouts at the savoury end mixing with the custard at the sweet end.I like both, but not together. When in Cornwall, do as the natives do, eh?

THAT MUST ME HER.....no one else would do sprout and custard pasties AND I'm sure I saw a glimpse of red tinsel as she left the room...........I see she must have taken out her false teeth in readiness for cracking nuts, already............... Merry

Adventures of the Wishing Chair. Without any further todo's the travelling trio have finally arrived at Olde Crones in the ar*e end of England, but where is everyone? 'Lara! wake up' Rebs shouted above the snoring. (Billy and Lara were each trying to outdo the other) Waking with a snort, and a painful wedgie, Lara looked down as the chair hovered. 'Where is everyone? No greeting party, how rude!' In the distance they could see a reddish glow coming from what appeared to be a public building. 'Let's check that out' said Rebs, and the chair obediently flew towards the glow. As they drew closer, the young lasses could see the glow was in fact caused by an abundance of red tinsel g-strings. 'Oooooh! Look at all the ladies in red. How festive' said Rebs, secretly thinking that some ladies should avoid string tinsel over garments in the future. Now, how do we land this bl***y thing again..............................?

Are you being rude about my combinations, Rebs????? I'll have you know they are a family heirloom! Carefully darned by my granny and her mother before her. I think they were purchased for about a shilling in 1892......... Merry

LOL Merry! Wasn't actually pointing in any particular direction. You look very fetching!!! 6.30 am here, so will have to scadoodle soon. Have a Happy Christmas. Can we keep this going 'til New Years do you think??? Oh sh*t! The idiot across the road has decided to put on C- carols at this time of morning. Doesn't augur well for the rest of the day. I was wrong! The idiot is actually in my own living room. Bl**dy hell! Death by Carols!