Genealogy Chat

bump

nudge

Hello All, Hope everyone is well, nice reading everyones messages and catching up on everyones news. R xxx

I could always be the cute sensitive one. Jess,no mention of Turnips or cannonballs please. Glen

hi jess im sticking to that name now i have few rellies coming on this site and dont want them knowing my business,if you get what i mean.off to work now check back later angie x

Hi Jess, I have nothing sensible either, it is 10pm here and have spent all day with 7 children at the movies. And then all back to my house to play mmmm Melisa

No (sensible) idea what you could be..How the devil do you expect an old twerp like me to keep track of who is who if you keep chopsing and changing! Jess

hi iv just changed mine previously angela jones now bacardi slice no ice have something that reflects your personallity hugs angie x

Hi Glen and Angie, Glad to her things are going well for you both at the moment Mel

Hi Guys, Mmm I don't want to be Mel Bain anymore. I want something new !! Any Ideas ? Mel

hi glen thats great news for you,hope he keeps intouch and you build a happy relatioship hi jess as you can see,we can all be amazed sometimes,if only they would keep intouch more oftern i would be happy.im sure things will change for you jess,as my brothers have always said they aint got no problem with me its there other halves and its not cus im there sister its cus im another woman and they see me as a threat good luck every 1 angie xxxxx

see, BOTH of you, expect the unexpected! One day , my maternal two half brothers will pop out of the woodwork somewhere, and the paternal half brother that got his wife to phone me and break the ice after i wrote to him, that promised HE would ring me that evening , ( 3 years ago...) will also appear.Mind you, on reflection, She had an ulterior motive. if not, its their loss I tell you guys never to loose hope - and yet i have very little! Everything comes to he that waits...we hope! jess

Had an absolutely lousy day yesterday,then last night had an unexpected phone call from my 1st cousin. Totally out of the blue and a total suprise.Three hours later after a good chat and a good few laughs i have his home addy,phone number etc and a warning to my health if i don't get to see him before too long. We have the same sense of humour and a few common interests,amongst them a love of old family photographs,still nothing for my b/m unfortunately but he is looking hard. Glen

hi all well its amazin how things can change in a week my middle brother now back on email and he has sent me 1 today and my little brother foned me last night,yep the one who said it would probly be another 2yrs before i heard off him was talking to him for 3hrs,he foned me in jan after no contact for 2yrs i suppose it is because i have taken a step back and do try and let them contact me first,if i dont hear off them then i contact them,maybe i should leave it a bit longer and not be so quick in getting intouch anyway as usual it was lovely to hear off them and im optomistic about the future hugs angie xxxxxxxxx

Hi all Angela.......Good Luck I also think men are different from woman...lol. I think woman feel it more then men.....sorry if i have offended any men....and this doesnt apply to glen. I applaud your strength Angela.....I know I couldnt or wouldnt bother. I would let them come to me. I suppose because my family are my family and my BM family are just .new people to get to know. My Bs and I are just friends.....thats all their can be. And I enjoy the new friendship. I suppose as Adoptee's we are searching for different things. Annxx

hi jess and glen all your coments make perfect sence its just finding the strength not to bother,my birth brothers,i have 3 of them were brought up with my natural parents and me and my sis were adopted,its mainly the sister-in laws that give me grief,i have backed off a lot since meeting them 3yrs ago,but then my older brother fones me and says please keep texing me but i dont like to incase his wife dont like it and anyway hes not allowed credit to keep intouch with me.then theres my little brother who foned me jan after not hearing off him for 2yrs and blamed me for not choosing my birth family to live with and stayed with my adopted parents but id been with them since the age of 2 he also withheld his number so i cant get intouch with him,he said it would probly be another 2yrs before i hear off him again,and then my middle brother which is an on off sort of relationship,his girlfriend tryed to cause grief for me and my sis but it didnt work cus we dont play games and she needs to grow up after all this grief i still try and keep intouch with them,i must be off my head angie xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Jess It makes perfect sense to me. Years ago i used to deliver fridges and the like,and it was amazing how you could see family pictures in houses,and how people would whistfully talk of the faces you could see,even though they had no connection to me. It is strange to think that maybe a picture of my b/m is on a wall and the meter reader gets to learn something about her,and i can't. I can respect the wishes of her children,but i feel that they show less respect to me than they do to strangers.That really does stick in my throat. Sometimes i believe they would treat an animal better than me,and i know that I AM better than that. Glen

I think there are certainly 3 Elements to this 'finding' lark. Adoptees that want to find Birth parents that want to find and birth families, that maybe dont want to be found. Whilst it is all very well for us adoptees to want to look , want to see, want to find out, to be rejected again by their ''not wanting us back'' hurts . I guess it is different for different people, depending on what you had post adoption in terms of 'family'. My post adoption brothers will always be just that - the sons that birth mother had will never be 'my brothers' nor would i expect then to be, to fullfill that role, i think you have to grow up together to know each other well enough to do that. So, this sibs that we uncover/find, that reject us again and again, I guess they have rights too - the right not to want us back ? In my heart, if the woman that put the plasters on my grazed Knee is mum, ( hence their mum isn't) how can we be brother and sister ? (other than genetically ) hardest part is, you cant force someone to want you. sorry probably not worded right at all.... does it make any sense? Jess x

Hi all Angela I sorry your birth family are treating you bad..I know if I was in your situation I would not bother. I would give them a certain amount of time then I would let go.......If they dont want your company then thats their loss. Theres only so much one person can tolerate from other people and being ignored by your so_called birthfamily is not one of the things I would be prepared to tolerate. Not worth the emotional stress that it would cause. I hope your situation turns out better in the future. Let them come to you. Good Luck Annxx

hi all just popped in to read your posts gosh how i relate to you glen iv been treated just the same by my birth family,i met them 3yrs ago and im still trying to hold on to perhaps something that isnt there for them,its so hard to just let go especially not having them in our lives for so long,iv had so many let downs in the last 3yrs,its like they got a vendeter against me,its the exstened family of my birth family that make things so difficult,its like im in a battle most of the time,but i wont let them beat me its what they want me to do is to say sod it im not gunna bother anymore,but i aint going no were,hold in there every one,we have waited a long time to have our birth familys in our lives hugs to every one love angie xxxxxxxxxx