Genealogy Chat

If anyone was born in Hopedene a home for unmarried mothers in Newcastle upon tyne I have an address where you can get a copy of your record held by the home. In the last 3 weeks I have found on my fathers (deceased) side my half brother and 4 half sisters, as well as my mother and half sister. My fathers side was from the records from the home. He was not named on my birth certificate, but his name and address was in my records. My mother was found using this site. Wishing all adoptees goodluck in their search.(mine took 20 years)

Glen - i do wonder if these birth siblings, especially the older ones, despite what we may feel, think that WE got the better deal, when all was said and done. I certainly think i did,from what little i know. I wonder what sort of life they had both before and after our births, and that they remain distant because we may very well have had better and maybe they resent that . I know for a fact I did ~ My BM worked when she wasn't out cavorting and they were left with aged grandparents who lived with them, in a small house. cant have been a good time. Jess x

Hi Jess How poignant you mention the 12 and 14 year old. That's the situation i find myself in with my half sister,she would have been 16 or 17 when b/m was pregnant with me. I still don't know if she want's contact with me via her brother or more directly,seeing as i haven't had an answer to that i wonder if that is the answer in itself. I always ask myself what she must have made of the situation at the time,maybe she knows too much for her own good. I never expected or hoped for a big fairytale welcome home type reunion,but just sometimes i have a little daydream about my h/sister,after all we would have been within inches of each other at some point,we just couldn't see each other at that time. A rose tinted daydream? Yes definately. It makes me smile though and that always helps. Big hugs for everybody from my special place. Glen xxx

On the subject of birth mothers, Im glad i got the chance to meet mine, although what i gained from it i am unsure. I got the hugs and kisses 'bit' in a letter but then almost 'cold shoulder' when we met. When we parted that first time, with the promise of meeting again soon, my thank you card was returned with 'you met me, now leave me alone'~ talk about mixed messages! I still send christmas cards~ to (her name) NOT to mum, needles to say they are not reciprocated. She is an reasonably elderly lady and i do wonder if she has now passed away, she had every ailment under the sun when we met all those years ago, and if she is still alive its a medical wonder...... IF i believe half she said was wrong with her! i did enclose a note with this years card, if (her name) is no longer at this address, please return to sender, but it didnt boomerang~ so whio knows..I Will send a change of address when we move in a couple of weeks, just 'because ' really. maybe she'll keep it, maybe she throw it away, who knows?. i think my hope is that one day, one of the half brothers that she had before me will stumble across my name as he clears the house when she is gone and curiosity will get the better of them. at 12 and 14 However nieve they were then, as she didnt go away to have me, the must know she was pregnant and must know that i exist, mustn't they....?? Jess x

what a lovely verse and so true god bless angie x

We often share our hopes and fears We often share our joys and tears We share the things others cannot see We share because we are family And as i walk this rocky road You offer me your hand to hold To pick me up if i should fall To hold aloft when i walk tall And though we may be miles apart You have a place here in my heart A place to stop and rest awhile To have a weep or raise a smile But from my heart i say to you I know that you will help me through The times ahead,both good and bad And that's why my friends make me glad Glen 10/03/06

Hi everyone, I couldn't sleep last night,don't know why,no problems at the moment. But anyhow i have a message for everyone,(see my next post) It's a thankyou,to each and every person who visits the thread,it is as personal to you as you wish to make it,but it is to show how you have all helped me over the past few months. They are my own words.It just shows what sharing my experience with you means to me. Glen

Morning all, Just to let you know yesterday i collected an information sheet from my social worker that she had drawn up from my court records. Makes very interesting reading. After 43 years i now know where i was born, my birth weight and the fact that i was breast fed! wow Have read through it over and over. Lots of info about my BM and all the various foster parents i was placed with as a baby. I feel wierd, all shaky and excited, also got last known address for BM parents and it stated that my BM was pregnant when they traced her to sign my adoption papers. Lots of info to go on so lots of investigating about to start. Good luck to everyone who has their info or are still waiting for it Beve PS going back for photcopies of actual records in may.

Hi All Thanks Ann You have hit the nail on the head that is exactly how I feel !!!! Anyway I am not going to worry about at all tonight as I am going on a girls night out to the Casino to see a show. A simple chance to leave the thoughts at home, though I know they will be waiting for me when I get back.. Have a good day / night Mel

Hi everyone, I suppose that i am fortunate that my b/m died well before i started this whole thing. Maybe that sounds selfish and spiteful but it has made things easier for me,i haven't had to deal with the what if she doesn't want to know problem. Yes there are probems with trying to build some line of communication with my half sibs,but i managed for many years without and don't think i need them to allow me to survive. I couldn't and wouldn't expect them to answer the 'why was i adopted?' question,but something about my b/m would be nice. Who knows when and if i'll ever find out,the new cousins are not much help in that respect,it looks like every uncle and aunt lead a little family of their own,aware of the others but independent of each other. Strange that i have been the one to break the news to 12 people the names of grandparents,aunties and uncles,if i didn't have the certs for the 8 cousins i would have thought they were a totally different family. Till next time everyone Glen xxx

Hi Mel and everyone, I know exactly how you feel. because I am of the same mind. Its a need to know thing. Not a 'I want my mummy thing'. I think they should all read these messages and they might get what we really want and need. Yes I know that sounds selfish and I'm sorry if I offend anyone. Its good to know and eventually meet these people,, but most of us are lucky enough to have wonderful parents. Its a different need. It propably would be easier if they reject us then we wouldnt have all these emotions going through our heads. But on a brighter side she didnt reject you and as time goes by you can tell her how you feel. i think she will understand. She would be going through alot emotions as well. Jess are you OK......... havent seen any messages from you. Hope you are feeling better. Annxx

Hi Glen, Hi Ladies Jess I hope you feel better soon I find that Baileys help's with any sort of prob's, and if you mix it with lots of ice it can also become a diet drink as it waters it down a liitle, works for me !!!!!! LOL. Glen wow 8 more cousins, I hope you get everything your heart desires and they find your records soon. Ann, I can understand how you feel I would be the same. And now for my little update, my birth cousin told me my BM was one of 10 and they all seem to have a couple of kids each. ( that xmas card list is growing by the minute). I have had a couple of emails with BC and she seems really nice. I feel no pressure when I email her at all, we are both the similar age and both babble heads it seems. As for my birth mother she seems nice as well, but I hate to be horrible as it was me who found her, but she finished her first email of with lots of love and many kisses and the second email with Love ********(mum). I though this was a little full on. Now before you think I am a horrible person, I have had a great life with my Mum and Dad (adopted) and do not need another !!!!!!!! ( lets face it we love them dearly but they can be hard work at times - one is enough. LOL ) I think that when you set yourslf up for the worst and it is totally the opposite it sort of throws you, or maybe I would have just been satisfied with a photo, medical history and a couple of pleasent emails every now and then. OOhh I don't know I'm confused or am I just fickle !!!!!!!!!! Hi Sheila Thanks for replying to my pm and always knowing th right thing to say ! Bye for now Mel

Big hug your way Jess, Sheila If you get this i'm blanking that other problem from my mind at the minute Glen

Hi Jess ,Glen and everyone, Jess Its time for that block of CHOCOLATE or a nice glass of wine or beer. That might help. Hope you feel better soon. Glen Sounds like you finding lots of family connections. Good to hear , 8 new cousins *WOW*. Talked to BS yesterday and she sounds happy. and had email from BM's brother. BM's sister is coming over to Oz this year and wants to meet us. Cant say whether I will meet her or not. Dont know if I am ready for that yet. I find email easier. But we will see, its a while away yet. Hugs and squeezes for all, Annxxx

Hugs for all in the 'ladies room' Glen? not many men are as willing as you to talk. Cyber hug requred please. Right now everything hurts!Inside hurts not bumps and bruises type hurt.feel all screwed up about loads of bits and they together are doing my head in. nothing to do with being adopted at all

Re my court papers Still no joy at all from Lincoln,they seem to have misplaced everything,still 3 months ago they said the court didn't exist so at least we are getting somewhere. Glen

Morning ladies How is everyone? Last night i had a contact through GR enquiring about a name in my tree,one of mothers' siblings. The person asked if i knew any names for wife or children,i didn't but the name is on my 'names to explore list' I said i had a name for his parents and had worked down to him,turns out this contact is his son and has worked up to him. Result 8 new cousins!!!!!! I haven't revealed too much at the moment,just trying to establish whether we know anything about the remaining uncles and aunts we share. I think from what is in one message we lived pretty damn close to each other at one point,strange. Slowly trying to establish some form of contact more directly with my half sister,time will tell. Yesterday i had a death cert arrive for grandad,trying to prove/disprove a rumour,i ordered it from the local office so it's the one with grannys' signature on it(GRO cert wouldn't?). Anyhow she seems to be more real than anyone at the moment,i feel like i went to her wedding and was there when gramps died. Slowly putting life into the names,just that all important missing generation. Hugs to all in my little 'ladies room' Glen x

Just trying to keep the thread on pg 1 lol

hi all just wanted to add my little experience about having contact with birth siblings first year was great lots of contact my little brother foned me january after 2yrs of no contact my big brother foned me sunday after 6months of no contact and im just waiting for my middle brother to get intouch after not hearing off him since last november it takes some getting use to but i put it down to been a man thing good luck to all of you angie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just saying Hi to all Enjoy your day or night.. Annxx